Would you consider this cheating?

[heaventorn]

Here's a nice test to see how bad your move was.

Put yourself in her place; imagine some guy you click with just asked you out. You don't want to go out right away because you have a lot of problems going on and don't want him to deal with the drama, but you let him know that when you are done with it you would like to officially start dating. Now this person knows that you are as much into them as they are into you, but you find out that after your conversation with them, they went out and fooled around with some other girl they knew.

It doesn't come off right. Makes you look impatient or childish. It isn't so much about whether it's considered cheating or not (because it isn't) it just shows that you really don't care and that girls are a sort of conquest for you (if one isn't available, grab another until then).

I can understand her freaking as being odd and a bad sign, but I can also see where she is coming from. I can also see your side and your motives. What you should do about it, I have no idea.

 

[Mikeyfell]

The girl who rejected me finds out about this and got really pissed at me for technically cheating

So my question is this. In your opinions, would you call that cheating? Should I be mad with myself? Her? should I try to work things out?

well your problem is very simple

she's crazy

especially if she said "technically cheating" when you weren't dating
so by her logic you where "technically cheating" on every woman in the world during every date you've ever been on?

"technically cheating"'s not cheating in anyone's opinion
be mad with her
keep seeing the sane girl

[sub]either that or you can assume that every time she says "no" she means "yes." then in that case marry her and every time she says "I said 'no'" bring up the "technically cheating" issue[/sub]

 

[Stealth Prawn]

Wait. So it's okay for girl #1 to demand he put his life on hold for her? She said no. That means he's free to date whoever he wants. Girl #1 is a *****, don't date her even if things with girl #2 don't work out.

 

[fenderstrat]

hell no. and im glad that you did it

 

[DudeistBelieve]

This is in no way shape or form cheating. She said no, she has no right to be upset.

Not reading anyone elses posts, because this one is entirely correct. If I can add, however...

No it's not cheating. No you shouldn't feel overly terrible. Truthfully if you really wanted this non-committed girl you should of went about this more tactfully, cause you may of blown your chances. Just saying, you didn't do anything wrong though.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

This reminds me of the "We were on a break" thing from Friends. Rachael wants a break. Ross sleeps with a girl the night this break starts. Rachael says she'll take him back the next take because she's over all the stress... She finds out what he did during the break and she gets mad and the relationship ends.

While Ross is technically right, like you are, it was still a bit of a dickhead move. You couldn't have been patient and just waited for girl #1 to deal with her shit first? I don't agree that you cheated, but I agree with her that you're probably a dickhead (or whatever insult she probably used when she found out about this).

I call bullshit. Morally, ethically, legally, what Ross did was A-okay. Smartest move in the world if his game plan was to get back with Rachael? Hell NO! In fact, it's unethical of Rachael to hold it against Ross for doing so, if she wanted to claim to his dick she shouldn't of set it free.

P.S. Never watched friends.

 

[CouchCommando]

no ,sounds like she was the one letting the grass grow under her feet. But that's just what I can garner from the information you've laid down.

 

[PureChaos]

it's not cheating, she turned you down. granted it was a 'no for now, ask again later' so it could throw up some moral issues about whether or not you should have done it considering you WOULD have been dating her soon after but that's all. you can't cheat on someone you aren't dating, even you're on a break (who will get the reference...)

 

[ultrachicken]

Wasn't this girl still technically with another person at the time of your "cheating?"

That would mean you both "cheated."

Still, you should apologize, because that makes you seem like the kind of guy who acts like a dog.

 

[Olrod]

She was waiting to finish with her ex before committing to you.

You could say that you were waiting for her to finish with her ex before committing to her, too.

What's the problem?

 

[Jonluw]

It's sort of in a grey area when it comes to whether it is cheating or not.

It is, however, a major dick-move. In my opinion, that is.

Edit: Additionally, I am very disappointed in all the escapists here who thinks this guy did the right thing. I thought we had a little more class than this, guys. Did you root for Makoto in School days as well?

Edit: That might have come off as a bit too agressive. I didn't mean to say the OP is like Makoto, but I am saying that what he did (as I see it from the post) could be something Makoto would have done.

Edit: Of course, it could be that I am gravely misunderstanding the nature of the situation. I do not know the details, after all.

Edit: I guess what I can't understand is how the OP expects her to still be intersted in him, when he has just shown that she means nothing to him.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

I?m not even sure it?s a dick move. Well it is a dick move in her eyes but I?m not sure either of you got across your intentions very well.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

It was a bit of a dick move but no, I wouldn't call that cheating.

 

[Syntax Error]

Kinda reminds me of that overly-long "We were on a break!" bit in Friends.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

According to the rules, it's not cheating. However, the rules also state that she is allowed to get pissed off at anything you do and be right about it. You have no say in the matter, you are wrong...

...I see in article 7 on page 79 you may either give up or perform the forgiveness ritual where you hop, rub your head, pat your head followed by licking Marmite from you nasal... this must all be done butt naked.

Seriously though, just go apologise and make her feel better. She's probably crushed that you did this, whether it's cheating or not.

 

[rabidmidget]

It sounds like she cared about you, but justed wanted some time to sort out her life and then you abandoned her to be with some other girl.

It may not be "cheating" in the technical sense, but it still sounds like you pulled a dick move.

 

[David Bray]

Not officially. This is more what we call a dick move.

You clicked so if you were a decent man you'd wait for her to come around and dive into your waiting arms.
In game terms:

Half-Life 2: Episode 3 gets a release date for october this year. Then it gets pushed back to January next year. That doesn't mean you dive on Lacklustre Shooter 2: Storyless Edition in the mean time. You wait in eager anticipation.

 

[FamoFunk]

Not cheating as you're not official, but it was an idiot mood knowing you two could well of become an item. Kinda fucks up trust for the future things.