Would you stay in a relationship with someone you loved if there was going to be no sex, garuanteed?

[Elindra]

While I'd appreciate a guy who'd be willing to wait, honestly I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a guy who didn't also -want- to wait until marriage, whatever his past experiences, and I'd want to be fairly up-front about that. ...and as far as it goes, I rather expect the first time my dad is alone with any paramour of mine, threats about keeping "your hands off my daughter" will be made.

As for even after marriage... I could be married without it, but I believe it's an integral part of the intimacy a husband and wife should have, and you'd have to give me a pretty good reason for why that shouldn't happen.

 

[Everin]

While I'd appreciate a guy who'd be willing to wait, honestly I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a guy who didn't also -want- to wait until marriage, whatever his past experiences, and I'd want to be fairly up-front about that. ...and as far as it goes, I rather expect the first time my dad is alone with any paramour of mine, threats about keeping "your hands off my daughter" will be made.

As for even after marriage... I could be married without it, but I believe it's an integral part of the intimacy a husband and wife should have, and you'd have to give me a pretty good reason for why that shouldn't happen.

OP here. And there's pretty much the thread finisher, someone that totally agrees with it but we'll see where this keeps going, if it does at all.
Welcome to the Escapist, btw, hope you enjoy it

 

[Sir_Auron_the_Badass]

I highly doubt it. Not saying I don't respect those life style choices (though I have to say, I find it idiotic if they only choose so because of religious taboos), but I don't think I would actually be in that committed of a relationship if my significant other wasn't open to exploring and enjoying her sexuality like I plan to do. Someone the OP describes probably wouldn't want to pursue much into their sexuality even if they were married, and I think that is sheer madness.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

"Would you stay in a relationship with someone you loved" is really the question.

The answer is yes.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

People say "relationships are about more than just sex" but sex is still an important part of it. In fact, it is an intimate union of body, spirit, and soul. If your partner is terrible at it or something worse and you just can't connect in bed, then the whole marriage won't work. I'm not saying this is an excuse to just sleep with everyone before marriage, but if you are in love, I think that's a good enough reason to have sex.

I will say this once:

Being in love is not enough of a reason to get married.

A marriage is about more than that. It involves moving in together, combining incomes, starting a family, all of which require preparation. I believe sex is in the same category.

In short, just because you love someone doesn't mean you are marriage material.

 

[qazmatoz]

We'd probably get a lot more done when we hung out if that was the case.

 

[The Rockerfly]

What is the biological purpose of a male and female, to sexually reproduce. Without that function I really don't see the point. It won't last and if you can provide me 1 solid relationship that has lasted more than 20 years without sex I will gladly change my opinion.

Otherwise I think you'll both just become frustrated, angry at each other and get annoyed at the smallest things. Yes I hear that love is more than just sex and it's a nice theory but it's one that can very easily be broken

Also the religion part would annoy me no end, I couldn't do it

 

[Jimmy T. Malice]

Sure, especially since I'm underage.

 

[Plurralbles]

no. Hell, I'm thinking of leaving a girlfriend for the lack of sex...

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

I dunno really. From your thread title, I thought it was going to be a slightly different issue. What you're describing is a major difference of ideologies which I may find difficult to overcome- I'm a stanch atheist which little to no respect for the beliefs of modern Christianity (since modern Christianity usually has little do with the traditional values such as "kindness, generosity, charity" etc which I DO believe in). But that's not exactly the same thing. If I was unable to maintain a relationship with that girl, it'd probably be because our beliefs are incompatible, NOT because she wouldn't let me have sex with her.

On the other hand, consider the following hypothetical: say you fell in love with someone, deeply in love. What if they then had a tragic accident that paralyzed them from the neck down? Obviously you'd never be able to have a sexual relationship- they wouldn't even be able to feel anything. Now, under THOSE circumstances, where there wouold undoubtably never be any sex EVER, would you be able to stay in a relationship with them? In THAT case I can say that, yes, I would. If you can say you wouldn't, you never loved really loved them at all.

 

[crop52]

with ease,
hell, i'd stay with that someone even if there was no sex EVER,
but only if i loved them,

 

[Greenhand]

Yes.
I'm a virgin as it is, so there would be no change in that area, but I'd also be with someone I loved. That strikes me as a clear win.

Captcha: romingee Musi. What is that, some sort of obscure ethnic slur?

 

[Samby]

I'm a Muslim man, and I registered in the forum to reply to this thread.

I really need an answer: why do the people who are pro premarital sex marry? I must say that I'm shocked at the American culture. It knows no limitations, no no's. Extravagance is bad in everything, in this case in materialism and pragmatism, while moderation is the best way. This open extravagant attitude is capable of destroying a civilization. Looking to sex as an indispensable need regardless of the ways through which it is to be obtained is a sign of the failure to be moderate, reasonable or different from other creatures on this planet. There is a lack of 'principle', so much that 'no principle' has become a viable principle.

Someone said, "It is wrong to have a long-term relationship with someone before having sex with him for at least a year"!

Well, is marriage that important? Why? You already can have sex anytime, any place? Why do you care about the perfect marriage that much? If you agree to have sex and children without marriage, what is the use of marriage any way?

I call this chronic hypocrisy with oneself.


I must open a thread entitled: If you go to the market to buy your vegetables, will you buy an apple which someone else has taken a bite of before you come? How about going to a market where all the vegetables are tasted by others, and the marks of their teeth are on them, will you eat that?

Vegetables are not more precious than people.

 

[TheIronRuler]

Never experienced love.
I can't tell,though a relationship without sex sounds like pre-teen puppy love.
Let me vomit in the corner.
* vomits*
Everything is better now, I let some toxins leave my body.

 

[Brandon237]

The one relationship I've been in (it lasted about 1.5 years), we didn't even kiss

0.o How did you manage???
I'm a very... cautious person with these things, as is my gf, but not kissing for a year and a half? Not physically possible for me. Literally not possible. It took us a month and even that was rather slow.

OP: No sex before marriage at all... dubious... Depends on the person. If we were really close and marriage was an idea for a while, then I could wait, but if it was clear that things weren't going to be long term and they said that... hmmm.
Although I don't plan on doing it anytime soon. But I don't intend to wait until marriage either.

 

[Zantos]

I wish I wish I had kept my V card.

Word.

OT: Depends what you're after. I've had sex without love and love without sex. A few times even no sex and no love. One day I might even have both. The two aren't mutually exclusive, the question is are you happy to keep things as they are now, or do you want to roll the dice in the hope fate deals you someone that can offer you both. Don't go down the "I don't really like you but you're good in bed" option. That was how I lost my V and it's still something I wish I could take back. In short keep love if you're sure you love her, but if you're after something more don't let her hold you back, she'll probably understand.

 

[Cormac250]

Been going out iwth my girlfriend for over 4 years now and havn't slept with her. Not because of God or anything. And yes, I love her and I'm going to stay with her even if we never have sex.

 

[Vivace-Vivian]

As long as I can do things on my own, it's fine. If not, I think it would make me resent my partner.