You are now the king/queen of the interenet, what is your first command.

[teebeeohh]

first order of business: create a race of semi-sentient flying killer dinosaur aliens that maul everone who wants to regulate the internet. Not saying the there should be no rules, just that the moment somebody starts prioritizing add banners before torrents they will be mauled. oh and I may just depopulate Chinese administrative offices with this.

 

[Dr_Horrible]

Control Alt Delete all of Rule 34.

Wait... are you going to open up task manager on it or something? I think you meant just plain delete...

OT: no more (insert number)chans, no more LOLcats, mo more music videos from Ark Music Factory, no censorship on things (that aren't already illegal), and no regulation of porn, as long as it's legal porn and only posted where it should go.

I like to think I'd be a pretty lax king...

 

[Double A]

I would say DDoS godhatesfags.com for all eternity, but since I already defeated the Troll Wizard, I'd probably start a war on spam and viruses.

 

[Inkidu]

my first decree,proper grammar become law, no more abbreviations or smiley faces

Oh, the irony.

My first decree would be that everyone has to use their real name and a special internet ID number, think Social Security and you got it, this will cut down on cyber-crime, child predators, unfaithful spouses.

You can still have custom names for your avatars and whatnot, but everyone knows your name and your last four digits so they can complain.

The internet will become a more civil place.

That is some Orwellian shit right there i tell ya what. Given up freedoms for security; Just like the USA.

My first decree would be every time Metzen acts like he is the greatest thing to grace literature everyone gets a coupon to kick him in the nuts.

Second would be the outlaw of regulations. No state may regulate the web as a whole without my say so and my lips are sealed.

Third would be porn. I would open the flood gates(lul) and porn would wash over the masses(bulls-eye) and they would smile and be happy(tee hee).

Everyone always assumes Orwell is such an unreasonable fellow.

I'm not going to regulate the internet. There'll still be porn (but no one of the inappropriate age could view it... at least not as easily as lying on the title screen with the naked ladies on it.)

I'm going to hold people accountable for the things they say, do, steal, post, change, write, etc. I'm all for a person's right to use the internet (it won't be free, but the feel will become standard. All the content will be rated by an organization and will be away from children.

I'm basically trying to make people use their freedom responsibly.

People remember 1984; hell it was supposedly a banned book in my dads time in high school and Orwellian has become the same as oppression. And removing that anonymity is viewed as the removal of a freedom and that links to Orwell and that brings us to 1984 where shit is fucked up.

I'm not going to ban books, I'm going to keep videos of people castrating themselves away from minors. Anonymity should protect you from unjust persecution, but not when you just want to act like a tool and run your mouth and otherwise be a troll.

Didn't say you were i was just remarking that the contents of the book were apparently too heavy for Texas high schoolers to handle.

Your kingship do as you please.

Actually, I would ban all books. That's like a guarantee to get people to read them.

 

[thirion1850]

... Let the chaos begin. I will have the world dance on its ears by the time I'm through.

 

[cubikill]

First command: no government can control the internet.
Second command: no one man should have this much power, i make Day[9] my as the second king on the internet. and together we would rule justly and bring the internet new glory.

 

[Adam Bizar]

My first Royal decree,

NO MORE LOLCATS

*Applause*

 

[Karthek]

I would give Annonymous an award for trolling Sony, and would require all online schools and classes to have a Meme subject.

 

[w00tage]

my first decree,proper grammar become law, no more abbreviations or smiley faces

Oh, the irony.

My first decree would be that everyone has to use their real name and a special internet ID number, think Social Security and you got it, this will cut down on cyber-crime, child predators, unfaithful spouses.

You can still have custom names for your avatars and whatnot, but everyone knows your name and your last four digits so they can complain.

The internet will become a more civil place.

That is some Orwellian shit right there i tell ya what. Given up freedoms for security; Just like the USA.

My first decree would be every time Metzen acts like he is the greatest thing to grace literature everyone gets a coupon to kick him in the nuts.

Second would be the outlaw of regulations. No state may regulate the web as a whole without my say so and my lips are sealed.

Third would be porn. I would open the flood gates(lul) and porn would wash over the masses(bulls-eye) and they would smile and be happy(tee hee).

Everyone always assumes Orwell is such an unreasonable fellow.

I'm not going to regulate the internet. There'll still be porn (but no one of the inappropriate age could view it... at least not as easily as lying on the title screen with the naked ladies on it.)

I'm going to hold people accountable for the things they say, do, steal, post, change, write, etc. I'm all for a person's right to use the internet (it won't be free, but the feel will become standard. All the content will be rated by an organization and will be away from children.

I'm basically trying to make people use their freedom responsibly.

I support this entirely. Anonymity /= freedom. It is not a defense against a tyranny unless you actually live under one.

I would be completely happy to have every screen name on every post I've ever put on websites replaced with my real name and real picture right now. I can deal with the consequences because I don't have an alternative personality that comes out when I'm on the internet, or driving, or alone. I've considered it but I can't be arsed to do it just to make myself feel better. If EVERYONE were doing it though, I'd make the effort.

I question whether people who treasure anonymity could do the same and still keep everything they have in RL - friends, significant others, JOBS - you know, the little stuff. They should really think about the fact that privacy is disappearing just as fast as people abuse it to do bad things, so the current situation will not last forever.

 

[Jamous]

no adverts.
no spam.
no virus'.
trolling would be an offence, and a fine must be paid.
hacking would be an offence punishable by death.
all games must be given to me for extensive testing before release.
1Gb per second internet speeds for everyone.
premium accounts on every single site free of charge for me.

I'd vote for you to be King; these are good decrees indeed.

 

[SuperNova221]

To dismantle all the tubes and never reassmeble them. Huge hit for the information age. But fuck it. The internet is an awful place. It doesn't make the world worse. It just makes you more aware of how awful the world is.

 

[Da Chi]

I'd make internet service free and available to everyone.

Other than that, business as usual.

 

[neonsword13-ops]

Put every troll underneath the bridge where they belong.

 

[Giest4life]

I will decide what is allowed here if something that sucks is added it will be gone. Also I will make people have to pay to troll $20 monthly

I wouldn't have imagined scousers being fans of My Little Pony. Ever.


OT: Every internet user must have the choice to remain completely anonymous.

 

[Harbinger_]

Proper Grammar is a necessity. Also Youtube comment wars will be settled with fights to the death.

 

[Inkidu]

my first decree,proper grammar become law, no more abbreviations or smiley faces

Oh, the irony.

My first decree would be that everyone has to use their real name and a special internet ID number, think Social Security and you got it, this will cut down on cyber-crime, child predators, unfaithful spouses.

You can still have custom names for your avatars and whatnot, but everyone knows your name and your last four digits so they can complain.

The internet will become a more civil place.

That is some Orwellian shit right there i tell ya what. Given up freedoms for security; Just like the USA.

My first decree would be every time Metzen acts like he is the greatest thing to grace literature everyone gets a coupon to kick him in the nuts.

Second would be the outlaw of regulations. No state may regulate the web as a whole without my say so and my lips are sealed.

Third would be porn. I would open the flood gates(lul) and porn would wash over the masses(bulls-eye) and they would smile and be happy(tee hee).

Everyone always assumes Orwell is such an unreasonable fellow.

I'm not going to regulate the internet. There'll still be porn (but no one of the inappropriate age could view it... at least not as easily as lying on the title screen with the naked ladies on it.)

I'm going to hold people accountable for the things they say, do, steal, post, change, write, etc. I'm all for a person's right to use the internet (it won't be free, but the feel will become standard. All the content will be rated by an organization and will be away from children.

I'm basically trying to make people use their freedom responsibly.

I support this entirely. Anonymity /= freedom. It is not a defense against a tyranny unless you actually live under one.

I would be completely happy to have every screen name on every post I've ever put on websites replaced with my real name and real picture right now. I can deal with the consequences because I don't have an alternative personality that comes out when I'm on the internet, or driving, or alone. I've considered it but I can't be arsed to do it just to make myself feel better. If EVERYONE were doing it though, I'd make the effort.

I question whether people who treasure anonymity could do the same and still keep everything they have in RL - friends, significant others, JOBS - you know, the little stuff. They should really think about the fact that privacy is disappearing just as fast as people abuse it to do bad things, so the current situation will not last forever.

People have the right to privacy. Their person, their homes, their cars, boats, etc., and their own personal computers. However, the internet is not private. It is a public place, and in public places people behave in a civilized manner. The internet is public. Now, I'm more than willing to let people connect computers over the web with one another we'd know who was in the group but not what it was for, and there would still be warrants needed to tap those private networks. I'm all for shoehorning it into the legal system.

 

[berettastorm88]

absolutely no
"{insert number of dislikes amount} people dont like {insert random topic of video}"
comments on youtube, offenders would have the death penalty!

 

[Estocavio]

Use decent Grammar and Punctuation.

Or you will be banned!
There are some exceptions.