You are now the king/queen of the interenet, what is your first command.

[LTAshler]

A) No viruses, worms, etc, on any respectable or at least innocent sites, ever.
B) No porn

 

[Wintermoot]

double post!
-IGNORE THIS!-

 

[Elf Defiler Korgan]

All trolls become barons of the net, with titles.

 

[scorptatious]

Internet cookies for everyone!

 

[Blatherscythe]

I shall recruit Anonymous as my army, disable the websites of Scientology and the WBC websites and then I shall find a way to track down Lulzsec. Also I would ban crazy right wingers who want to moniter the internet, I will not allow you to distrupt my absolute pow- I mean the internet's soverignty.

 

[Cliff_m85]

After defeating the Troll Wizard and slaying the mighty Zalgo, you have been made into the new ruler of all the internet.

Anything you say will be done. Your first demand?

My first decree, "memeoligest" is now an official job, and all memeoligests will be treated with the uppermost respect.

either that or

The CWCKI will now be declared "awesome" by all! For this pleases me.

lol, your turn.

Either you like "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" or you are tolerated....in special camps.

 

[Comando96]

News Corp to be erased from all actions throughout the internet and no business nor media actions may take place from that company, nor any subsidiaries of it.

This would effectively destroy Fox, Sky... the daily mail...
Basically a large chunk of the right-wing media which is often guilty of bullshitting all too often.

---------------

Or put more simply... if you bullshit, no internet for you >

 

[Greatjusticeman]

First decree -

Gather up all the trolls, and burn them.

 

[Firia]

I shall instill a standard of decency, and no person shall be allowed to be a dick to another online. Does that infringe on your rights? You BET it does! You don't want me in the high chair.

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

I shall lockdown our borders to all those that wish to regulate our content and use. It is not for the realm of men to decide, but that of the machine.

And so began the ironic reign of PimpHandofGod.

 

[starkiller212]

Step down immediately. The internet could not and should not be ruled by anyone.

 

[daemon37]

I would do the following, and the world would be a better place:

 

[Cazza]

I would delete a lot of crap. Ranging from yahoo awnsers to illegal stuff.

 

[Jodah]

Hacking for the purposes of financial gain, harming an entity, or "teh lulz" is punishable by death by salmon. For those who do not know of this fishy killing technique, a large, hairy, man in his underwear uses a large salmon to bludgeon you to death.

 

[Vrex360]

-All people who declare Ashley from Mass Effect racist or who badmouth her at all must be taken to the gallows and excecuted!

-The Arbiter is the one true god of the web!

-The term 'feminazi' and all who use it shall be burned at the stake!

-No more piracy!!

-Never shall creepy fanart cloud my vision in a google image search!

 

[Elijah Ball]

Start a troll hunting committee.

 

[Zmax15]

Any and all companies and trolls would have to pay a monthly fee and I would use said moneys to purchase an island nation, said island would be declared a nation and would be the world's #1 exporter of memes, kittens, lols, and other things the internet has.

 

[NickCooley]

All Grammar Nazi's will be thrown into a fiery pit. Pettiness will not be tolerated in my Kingdom.

Anyone that claims superiority due to choice of gaming machine will be tortured via flicking of both ears at random intervals for a time period of no less than 24 hours, see above pettiness doctrine for why.

Anonymous WILL become my personal army and shall be let loose upon those who anger me, those who act in a douchey manner or those that are in my line of sight on a bad day.

As policing the internet is nigh on impossible 4chan will be expanded and become the designated lulz site for the more unsavoury parts of the internet.

An accurate A.I. of Pinky Pie will be created and will head the Anonymous legions. Just because.

The Furries will be rounded up and chuckled at, possibly while being pointed at by children.

And finally, the various internet personalities will be given ranks, titles and land/web domains dependant on how much I like them. The Escapist staff and contributors all receiving nothing less than Duke/Duchess, of course.

Obviously I'm exempt from all the rules.

 

[SillyNilly]

I will take the evil route.
As king, I will require a mandatory 'update' to all computers and servers connected to the internet. This will connect the global infrastructure to my main server.

-I will force an upload from the main server to connect the user's computer server-side and have an indefinite wallpaper slideshow of all Rule 34 ever created.
-Desktop icons, browser templates will be Rule 34 content.
-Startup/shutdown screens are eroge games that must be completed to turn off/on the computer.
-All videos on every video site will be Rule 34 FMVs.
-All images removed and replaced with Rule 34.
-Misc sounds such as Windows Error and Mouse Click will be replaced by the sounds of heavy-handed grunts and orgasmic squeals.

For the Lulz...Muahahaha! I'm evil like that.

Then, we fly to the moon and create a moon colony based off the internet.
It. Will. Be. Awesome.

My lord requests it, IT SHALL BE DONE!


For Lord Inglip Alssadar!

 

[DarklordKyo]

I would hold it ransom and threaten to forever shut it off if I don't gain control over the world, and I would then force positive change into Earth as it's new dark emperor.