You have a slave

[direkiller]

2) Rape and slavery aren't jokes.

Picture Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig and then tell me you aren't laughing. EVERYTHING can be made into a Joke.

you just had to beat me to it


OT: I don't know

 

[snagli]

Heh. I thought the title read "You are a slave", and that this thread would be one of those "You are a minion of capitalism and consumerism, you weakling" threads. Thank god it wasn't.

OT: Stephen Fry. I have a massive bro-boner for that man, and I want him to entertain me by being him.

 

[Crazy Zaul]

Since the first answer that came into my head was taken by the 1st reply:

A ball of cells. So I can split them up and have many slaves. I shall call them The Legion of....something that sounds cool.

 

[OniaPL]

Aaaaaaaand boner.

If she consented and was happy to submit to my will, I'd pick Emma Watson to be my sexy BDSM slave. I'd love to make that "girl next door"-type pretty woman my dirty cum-dumpster *****.

Oh god, I went too deep, didn't I? My apologies.

Why do so many people want to make someone their dirty cum dump *****? I mean, come on...

OT: I would probably just enslave someone ridiculously rich, take half of their money and release them. The money would give me freedom to live my life like I would want to.

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Jenifer Aniston. What shes hot.

I mean look at those legs. She may be over forty but daaaaaaamn is she hot.

Really? Have you seen what she looks like these days?

Anyway nobody. Slavery is bad.

 

[Thoric485]

Kim Jong Un. Have him dismantle the military, open the borders and let South Korea take over.

 

[Rumpsteak]

I choose poiumty in this thread. That way I effectively have two slaves.

And so it begins..

 

[Pyro Paul]

No one. Slavery is a travesty. That's like saying I get one free murder. The idea is awful.

no it isn't.
slavery in and of itself is not bad...
mostly because slavery can be very common to familial bonds or deep friendships in which individuals may be compelled to do things against their will for irrational reasons.

what has painted an ugly picture of slavery is the dehumanization of slaves by those whom are in a superior position of power.

 

[katsumoto03]

HK-47 from KotOR. This, my friends, is the only correct answer. Sure, it'd be nice to have a sexy lady to do all sorts of wonderfully nasty things to your funbits, but come on! Fucking HK-47!

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I wouldn't enslave a celebrity. I met a chick who was really with BDSM awhile back and she probably would have dug being a "slave." I'd probably troll fetish sites/boards for someone who would be into that. Then maybe we'd date and see if we liked each other. Then yeah, I'd enslave that person, if I HAD to enslave somebody, by law. Might as well do it to someone who would like it.

 

[Sunrider]

snip

I'm sorry about your allergy to topics that aren't dead serious and 100% politically correct. My condolences.

OT: Scarlett Johansson, because she is super hot with tons of money, because I am a chauvinist, a woman-hater, a rape supporter and a slavery supporter, obviously.

Now where did I put that sarcasm-font....

 

[chadachada123]

I'd pick the douchebag that stole my last girlfriend...

...and promptly force him to jump off of a cliff.

Sounds about right. Barring that, I'd pick the same guy, but just force him to do menial work (like force him to work a minimum wage job and then give me the proceeds). Plus, I'd always have someone to play against in video games, and it'd be even sweeter since it'd be against his will!

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

Okay... I'm not sure I want to pick someone to be my slave. Would it be fair to be the slave yourself and pick a Master instead? Because I could totally do that!

 

[DanielBrown]

Chris Rock
I'm allowed to hurt my slave, right?

 

[Macgyvercas]

I choose Gabe Newell. That way, he MUST release Half Life 3.

/thread

OT: I don't know. Maybe Morgan Freeman or Liam Neeson to follow me around and do my dialogue for me.

Either that or Niel Patrick Harris. I wouldn't treat him like a slave. He'd be my drinking buddy to make all my friends jealous. Nathan Fillion would have the same effect.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

I would enslave a British orphan with a cockney accent.

He would do all the housework and errands, and if he ever talked back or tried to sing, I'd slap him.

Why? Because orphans are great comic material.

 

[Erttheking]

2) Rape and slavery aren't jokes.

Picture Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig and then tell me you aren't laughing. EVERYTHING can be made into a Joke.

Heaven just called, George Carlin is suing you for plagiarism.

I joke.

You know damn well that Carlin didn't believe in that shit

Four words. Don't explain the joke.

 

[CODE-D]

Chris Rock
I'm allowed to hurt my slave, right?

What you do to your slave is your business. But outright abuse and unethical treatment of your slave will be looked into. Think of your slave as a.......well a pokemon.