You have a slave

[verdant monkai]

Hi due to your good behavior and recent success in whatever it is you have done lately you have just earned yourself one slave. You can enslave anyone you want but they are all you get(you will not get any of their assets, money etc). They must do whatever you say however.
So claim your slave.

I choose um.. er........ GOD, yes GOD.

I win. That is not up for debate (because God says so)

 

[the clockmaker]

...no one, slavery is a very bad thing and it is wrong to own one.

Did I miss the poitn whre we forgot that, can we check on that?

"Oh look, an obvious joke thread! Maybe if I spout my holier-than-thou opinions people might respect me!"

A question was asked and I gave my answer, who would I like to own as a slave, no one. But hey, lets start a new thread, 'If you could torture one person to death' 'if you could rape one person' 'if you could commit one act of terror' because having a 'joke' thread immediatly renders it immune to all critism.

 

[BeerTent]

Soooo many school bullies to choose from...

I'd pick the biggest, meanest one and send him out to commit atrocities upon the others, then have him do all kinds of humiliating things. And have him cybernetically augmented to serve me forever >:3

Done Deal.

What? I like Cybernetics... >.>

But you weren't mean to me for years... T^T

And besides, would you rather be a lobotomised Servitor, or a Techpriest? ^-^

As entertaining as lobotomy may be... I may have to go with the latter.
Shit, TBH, I'd be happy with just a deck.

Also, the Captcha is "roast beef" and it's moving back and forth. This is a little weird.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

dave chappelle,
just think of the material he'd come up with.

oh don't look at me like that. >.>

 

[C F]

Hmm...

Someone quiet and respectable, who wouldn't particularly mind subservience. Someone who is competent in a wide variety of fields, who is self-sufficient and unquestionably loyal. When I rise to power, they would need to recognize that my authority is not automatically theirs by extension. They would also need to be able to fill in as my aide-de-camp if the need should arise.

Oh, and whoever they may be, they'd have to be easy on the eyes. I am going to keep them around for a while after all, and I think my perfect slave should have some good looks on top of everything else.

You see, if I'm going to have a slave, I would like no regrets associated with them down the line. If they fail to meet the criteria, then I simply won't take a slave.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Soooo many school bullies to choose from...

I'd pick the biggest, meanest one and send him out to commit atrocities upon the others, then have him do all kinds of humiliating things. And have him cybernetically augmented to serve me forever >:3

Done Deal.

What? I like Cybernetics... >.>

But you weren't mean to me for years... T^T

And besides, would you rather be a lobotomised Servitor, or a Techpriest? ^-^

As entertaining as lobotomy may be... I may have to go with the latter.
Shit, TBH, I'd be happy with just a deck.

Also, the Captcha is "roast beef" and it's moving back and forth. This is a little weird.

I don't think anyone would really want to be a Servitor...

I wouldn't be happy until I had more machinery and less flesh than an Iron Hands marine.

It's "flesh is good" propaganda! Kill it with fire and lasers and plasma and nukes!

 

[trooper6]

2) Rape and slavery aren't jokes.

Picture Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig and then tell me you aren't laughing. EVERYTHING can be made into a Joke.

Nope, not laughing. I don't think women being raped is funny. I don't think men being raped is funny. I don't think anthropomorphic pigs being raped is funny.

 

[Shuguard]

dave chappelle,
just think of the material he'd come up with.

oh don't look at me like that. >.>

Darn beat me to it... In that case i choose Regina King for more Boondocks.

 

[Mint Rubber]

This thread is disturbing.

On a side note I claim the first person to post below me.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Also loving how everyone is assuming BDSM subs are like that 24/7.

Some are. Some act like children 24/7. Some act like animals 24/7. For some, it's not even roleplaying; it's their lifestyle.

I'm not even joking.

 

[Guffe]

Scarlett Johannson!

So she can make me lots of money with her acting career of course....

and ninjad' in evey way possible at first post... This isn't funny...

 

[The Night Angel]

I think slavery is completely wrong, but for the sake of the thread, I'll pick someone. As I'm not desperate enough to enslave someone just for sex, I'll say Bill O'Reilly, just so I could make him go door to door around the planet apologising for his continuing existence.

 

[manic_depressive13]

What's the point of adding that we don't get their money/assets? Surely we could just order them to give us their stuff, couldn't we?

I would enslave someone in power and rule their country from the shadows. Maybe Hu Jintao. China seems like a good place to start if I am to achieve world domination.

 

[Mr Cwtchy]

I have to LAWL at the anti-slavery campaigners in this thread.

Anywho, as far as sex slaves go, frankly I'd rather be the slave. >.>
That said, Emma Watson.. Mmmmmm.

 

[Bassanova]

Chris Dodd. I say the word, he stands against SICPA. Pure Awesomeness.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

That said, Emma Watson.. Mmmmmm.

Hey, she's my *****! Hands off her!

 

[lacktheknack]

My sister, then immediately release her (I chose my sister because she's closest to me right now, and thus would be inconvenienced the least).

 

[II2]

Oh ye of little vision. I'd enslave someone fortune 500 wealthy and have an indentured angel investor and ancillary bank account so long as they lived. With such power of money I could DO things, MAKE things...

Solve Media: King Arthur