You have a useless "superpower"...

[Aerodyamic]

Unflagging Endurance, because I'd be way too busy to fight crime.

 

[Gaiseric]

To Pee Intelligence.

 

[Scarim Coral]

My would either be to cast a "point of view" vision of a missing object I am looking for.
The other would be to generate a magnetic like sphere with my hand that will attact all the dust in my room. Once it's done I will have a large dust ball in my hand. Well that could be useful in fighting crime "Have a dust ball to your face foul fiend!".

 

[XHolySmokesX]

To have my pinky finger on both hands work like a sort of super sponge.

if a drink ever got spilt in my house i could soak up the spill and clean the floor with foaming soap action all at the tip of my most pojntless finger =D

either that or the ability to make someone orgasm by shouting the word BANG! really loudly

 

[ion496]

The ability to hack anything on the internet by thinking about it.
I couldn't control HOW I hack it though. That balances it. Probably.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

The power to create ANOTHER useless superpower thread for the bujillionth time this week.

 

[jedilord08]

power to actually care to write something on a Wikipedia (so i could screw everyone else up)

 

[Shadowfaze]

The ability to transform squirty cream into shaving cream. Aaah, pudding hilarity!

 

[Ashz0r]

I would say the ability to manipulate lactose, like off Misfits. But that isn't my own idea so I'd have to go with the ability to light candles by blowing on an unlit one.

 

[Cpu46]

The ability to teleport into a personal universe where I have complete control over everything. I can teleport whenever I want, however I can not take anything from one universe to the other and when I teleport back to either I appear in the exact same place, time, and position as before.

 

[Blunderboy]

The ability to grow facial hair at will. It would of course make a "fwooff" sound.
I could control exactly where it grew on my face (mustache, goatee, full on Gandalf etc) but I would have to remove it the old fashioned way.

 

[Theo Rob]

to be able to squirt lemon juice out of my eyes

 

[poppabaggins]

The ability to look like I'm on fire, but not actually be on fire.

And I'd be able to adjust things like the intensity/color/brightness.

 

[KaizokuouHasu]

The ability to walk under water. I'm still effected by water pressure, and my lungs are still of average capacity.

 

[Kuma_Nur]

I've always been amazed by my super power....whatever line i'm in goes the slowest.

Grocery Store....Gas station, Gamestop, whatever the store if there's two lines the one line i'm in goes slower.

 

[wootsniper]

Something that makes something like new again. Pants, game discs, e.t.c.

lol, pants? XD

 

[Ghengis John]

I would go with control over the growth of my hair. Length, thickness and if/where it would grow. (All right, no more shaving for me!!!)

That or the ability to absorb knowledge just by touching the source. (Like Metro Man, but without the lose of said knowledge after a short duration.)

Those both sound excellent and while it might be fun to come up with my own, as somebody who's losing his hair I'm going to have to borrow that first idea of yours. Sounds perfect.

 

[Dalek Caan]

The power to control my Xbox with my mind or to teleport myself into any game. The first one is lazy, the second is awesome.

 

[KP Shadow]

The ability to travel through the internet, or X-Ray vision, in the sense that I can see X-Rays as well as visible light.

 

[General Ken8]

Anyone use to watch fairly odd parents? well there was this one episode where timmys real parents got superpowers. And the dad had among other powers, the power of meat vision!

He could shoot cooked meat from his eyes. thats the power i want.

That show was pretty great
OT: The power to be amazing at all instruments and be able to write amazing music. Wouldn't be useless, I suppose, but that's the power I want