You have just been caught masturbating! What do you do?!?!?!?!

[Zannah]

My boyfriend is the only person that could walk in on me in this flat, and that'd just mean I wouldn't need my fingers to finish :3

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

"Just checking for testicular cancer... It's a serious threat you know!"

...and considering my family has a history with cancer, I could probably pull it off!

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

"This isn't the room you're looking for. Move along."

 

[kuyo]

It breaks down depending on who it is. I wont say which contingency is for whom.
stand up & present.
conceal with coat/robe.
take spooge in hand and wipe.
Play it up.

 

[Arqus_Zed]

 

[Calbeck]

"Oh hi, Mom!...I thought you were dead...oh, I see. You are. Hang on, let me just get THIS BAYONETED RIFLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH DIE DIE DIE AGAIN"

 

[xMelior]

If a frien walks in on me: pretend I'm high and continue
If hot girl: "Mind giving me a hand?"
If family: calm voice "I don't seem to be able to get this stain off of my new pants."

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

In your current location, and in place of what you're doing right now, your parents/ friends/ significant other/ roommates/ whatever have walked in on you.

What do you say?
Do you try to beat around (no pun intended) the bush?
Tell us what your contingency plan is

Right here, right now, by the person who lives with me?

"Honey, would you like some desert?"

(me being the desert, just to be clear - cause we just finished dinner)

 

[ReservoirAngel]

"get out for fuck sake! jesus christ mum!" then she leaves and i continue. we're not fancy here

 

[Merkavar]

Finish like a boss. Keeping eye contact the whole time.

 

[z3rostr1fe]

"Wanna join?"

 

[Trent Kama]

Make a thread on The Escapist so I don't feel so bad.

 

[priestswearseatbelts]

Reassure them that I'm the abnormal one. Not them.

Then tell them that. I'm sure the good lord gave them their own gifts. Size isn't that important.

 

[priestswearseatbelts]

Make a thread on The Escapist so I don't feel so bad.

^ Winner!

 

[zhoominator]

I guess I could use the whole tight foreskin argument because that actually has been an issue I've had over the years. So I could even get my doctor to back me up .

 

[rancher of monsters]

HELP MY HAND IS ATTACK MY WEINER!!!

 

[Mr_Universal]

"execute order 66"

 

[Creator002]

yah... you can consider this my two week notice

That one made me laugh the hardest.

Tight now? Well, my mother's already in the room and I'm in the lounge on a couch with my legs crossed, so it'd be weird (for her and me) to just start up.
If she wasn't in here and then walked in, I guess I could brush it off as trying to find something, since my legs are crossed.

 

[Ham Blitz]

Umm... Claim you're just texting