UNKNOWNINCOGNITO said:
Well, joking aside, I use fire. Lots and lots of fire. And explosions. Solves every problem. Okay, so the police may find a bit of the guy over there... And there... And there... And there...
Krillin!
What?
Too soon!
You just killed someone.
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Well, joking aside, I use fire. Lots and lots of fire. And explosions. Solves every problem. Okay, so the police may find a bit of the guy over there... And there... And there... And there...
Krillin!
What?
Too soon!
But I don't have a blacklight, so I couldn't mention that. I just had to go with what I do have, remember?thahat said:bleach the parts where you CANT see it either, there might be plasma residue not visible to the naked eye, like spermies on your bed with a blacklight lol.Jedoro said:
XD
dont forget your trusty friend the blacklight to check
Call the police. Hopefully, if I turn myself in, they'll be relatively lenient, and maybe I can use the insanity plea.
I aim to please. ^^JoJo Bizzaro 7 said:
You know, if this were my old apartment I'd agree, since it was situated in the basement and therefor qualifies as a dungeon. As it stands I currently live above ground level, so I'll go with the sit-and-wait approach. Less effort that way, too... ah, blessed laziness.Paksenarrion said:
I have a charcoal barbecue. I have A1. I could stand to brush up on my cooking skills. Problem pretty much solved, and the bones will be easier to dispose of than an entire corpse. I'd drop them in the manhole in my backyard that leads to the impossible-to-empty septic tank.
Krillin Owned Count: immeasurableThe Geek Lord said:
Wow I am screwed in this situation, I have no access to a car, I live in an spartment, and my apartment is right by abusy intersection. I guess I would call my dad, freeze the corpse, and go on from there.
Chemistry major (well, explosives engineering, but change 2 classes and its the exact damn same) here, and I can get my hand on 100 gallon reaction vats.
A) leave him in one and use my most expensive cleaners for everything in my kitchen.
B) chop him into small pieces and say I was using a human analogue (pig and ballistics gel and whatnot) to test my first ever batch of nitroglycerin.
C)test the nitroglycerin... with him on top. Make sure the rest of the dorm goes up (overpressure weapon, probably something so simple as a batch of hydrogen and oxygen under VERY high pressure... 100 gallon reaction vat worth? entire building is Gone), call it a tragic accident.
D) it was self defense, fucking sue me. Just me and him? no witnesses, and defensive wounds and a good story make it damnably easy to just walk away from murder. So long as you don't do it twice.
A) leave him in one and use my most expensive cleaners for everything in my kitchen.
B) chop him into small pieces and say I was using a human analogue (pig and ballistics gel and whatnot) to test my first ever batch of nitroglycerin.
C)test the nitroglycerin... with him on top. Make sure the rest of the dorm goes up (overpressure weapon, probably something so simple as a batch of hydrogen and oxygen under VERY high pressure... 100 gallon reaction vat worth? entire building is Gone), call it a tragic accident.
D) it was self defense, fucking sue me. Just me and him? no witnesses, and defensive wounds and a good story make it damnably easy to just walk away from murder. So long as you don't do it twice.
1) start crying
2) call 911 and explain what happened
3) ???............most likely no profit after that......
2) call 911 and explain what happened
3) ???............most likely no profit after that......
My friends were all scared by how freakily efficient this is.UNKNOWNINCOGNITO said:
The knfie is issue number one. My kitcken can be bleached and scrubbed but the knife? Well that has to just GO so it cant be matched to the wound. The best place to hide it would be up
i would walk to the nearest wood, climb the tallest tree i can find and ram it home in a top branch. Hard. Hard enough to ensure the tree will grow around it and envelope the knife completely.
Kitchen, scrub down, clothes burnt, ashes scattered in woods. Everything in the wash, bleach cilit bang on all surfaces, full bath for me.
Body. Sleeping bag, triple wrapped in clingfilm tied off with a blanket, airtight seal. Head to the nearest brigde or tower. Industrial staples and nails to the underside of the brigde in a corner amongst the irony structure supports. People look DOWN for a body. Think up. In the tower use the maintenence shaft to access the electronics and boiler space behind the dry walls. Again stapels to the cieling and nails along with spreys and washes to the clingfilm, to destroy DNA, residue and lingering smell.
Alabi. Conferm story with friends first before police arrive and question me about the missing person a few days later. I was out of town, drive out slowly at midnight and claim i wasnt home, leave car in a lot or in the wood to show i spent the night in a bar or away. Let the friends believe the lie as truth, that way they wont have to lie to the police, only you will. With that done the murder should be perfect and should be done in all of 3 days, by which time the missing persons report should have just been filed. Plenty of time to set story straight.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
1) Get a mop and clean up the blood
2) Dissolve styrofoam in gasoline (hope that works)
3) Bring the body out into the forest
4) Dump the styrogas all over everything
5) Burn that mother down
6) Wait a few months before moving to England
A bit drastic, yes, but I'm not going to prison.
2) Dissolve styrofoam in gasoline (hope that works)
3) Bring the body out into the forest
4) Dump the styrogas all over everything
5) Burn that mother down
6) Wait a few months before moving to England
A bit drastic, yes, but I'm not going to prison.
Well, maybe I killed them because they came into my house and were going to try to murder me. I believe that the law allows you to kill someone if they break into your home with the intention of hurting you so I'd probably just call the cops and explain what happened.