"You, my friend, deserve a slap."

[Jack_Uzi]

Does dealing one to himself count? If so, I would like to slap myself for sexual harra.. no wait!! For making myself angry for something that is not worth it. Sort of a wake-up slap.

 

[PoliceBox63]

Whenever someone starts a thread like this:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.203497-Australia-to-ban-swearing

And then people come in and complain without reading ANYTHING, what's more is that half of those people don't even live in Australia. They know nothing.

Hear hear, too many people in that thread just posting "aw that's gay like for fuck's sake" without even thinking about it.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

"I'll be there in 10 mins"
...1 hour later
"I'm just leaving now!"

SLAP

 

[dragonslayer32]

i have a friend that lies, A LOT! he says the most stupid things too, for example, he says he has a metal arm and leg. i really want to slap him sometimes, but i am scared incase i break my hand on his terminator like skeleton.

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

MY friends are your typical guys:cock jokes, rude jokes, and worst of all, not appreciating good games purely "cause its free, it can't be good!"

well guess what twatface, *SLAP*

 

[Crunchy English]

My friend was very, very drunk and was convinced

"Fox News is totally an academic source!"

SLAP!

 

[Quextamon]

Religous people who are way overzealous and people with distastefull jokes who ask you why your not laughing. My friend and I were on the way to school and she askes me if I believe in god and I say no. Then she proceades to sing a little song about how I don't believe in god. I ask her to stop and she doesn't. I was very close to slapping her.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

My friend: "I like Ke$ha."
*slap*
Me: "That'll teach you for not to having good taste!"

I dunno, "Tik-Tok"'s kinda catchy. Also, a Shakugan no Shana avatar? I thought I was the only one who'd heard of it...

Everytime my teachers used to complain about me needing to work, whilst saying I'm smarter than them... this has happened to me since I was in first school it just makes me want to slap them and yell "MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!"

Though alot of them retired shortly after hearing about my exam results after I didn't work...

Potentially you, sorry. Basically, people who are/claim to be too clever to need to work for exams, and make frequent mention of this fact/opinion. Smug, arrogant bastards...

If you're not the sort of person who brags about it, I won't give you an internet slap (it's a chrome extension that causes a hand to come out of your screen and slap you across the face. True story!) If you are, however...

Postscript: I also don't need to work too much for exams - a combination of a very retentive memory and a largely skill-based degree course sees to that (physics). I just don't make a big deal about it. But now I'm self conscious that I seem less intelligent than someone I'm quoting, so I'm bringing it up. My intellectual vanity will be my undoing someday...

 

[Johnnyallstar]

Pretty much anything most people say gives me the intense desire to do some butt kicking, no matter how intelligent it is.


Unless it's funny.

 

[Fallen-Angel Risen-Demon]

People who're too prideful to admit to when they're wrong or they fail

i have to live with that...
ugh...
can't wait to move from my dad.
So that.

 

[rokkolpo]

*friend of mine starts singing pokerface*
SLAP
me: snap out of it man!

 

[rokkolpo]

My mother when she chews anything remotely crunchy... oh dear lord -_-
And people who eat with their mouth open excessively.

OH GOD! i hate that!
i always crave to kill people who do that.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

i have a friend that lies, A LOT! he says the most stupid things too, for example, he says he has a metal arm and leg. i really want to slap him sometimes, but i am scared incase i break my hand on his terminator like skeleton.

I know a girl who convinced me that she'd been depressed enough to try to kill herself in the past, and was now going into hospital for surgery to remove a pre-cancerous growth. She did this to get some sympathy and... umm... attention, let's say.

The following morning, I had an email from one of her housemates, with whom I'm good friends, which was essentially a warning label regarding said girl and her tendency to tell ridiculous lies that go beyond all human decency. I was then informed that she'd sat there and laughed about the whole thing after I'd left the house. Whilst I can accept that this makes her possibly the best liar/actor I've ever met, if I see her again, it's slap time.
It is no overstatement to say that this is the angriest another human being has ever made me - deliberately playing on the decent side of my personality, whilst making me genuinely worried about you, just for a bit of attention?

Wow, that came out kind of rant-like. Probably because I haven't actually told anyone about the whole thing yet.

Then she proceades to sing a little song about how I don't believe in god. I ask her to stop and she doesn't. I was very close to slapping her.

Wait, a cute song, or a 'you're wrong' song? Because if it's just a sing-song repetition of your words, yeah, it's annoying, but slapworthy?

Also, welcome to the escapist. Please don't feed the trolls, and stay out of the basement.

 

[Wardnath]

People who haven't... Let's say, 'broadened their horizons' on music, yet magically have opinions on everything. Example: "How can you like Rock though? It's all 'rargh rargh rargh'".

If you've listened, and judged several different genres of music before refining your tastes, then I can respect your opinion. But people who are so closed minded and yet somehow have an opinion on genres they've never listened to just make me want to hit them!

But, but mate, all metal is just some idiot screaming into a microphone and some other jackass banging the drums like a complete lunatic.

amidoinitrite?

 

[afaceforradio]

What are some things that people do that make you want slap them in the face?

An example from me would have to be when someone talks about how much better they believe they are compared to you, or when someone breaks wind next to you during a loud part in a movie and it goes unnoticed until you catch the foul, foul odor in your nostrils. Forever ruining your appetite for the extra-large bag of popcorn you bought that will now remain uneaten. Farting bastards...

So, so many things. Let's see...

1. People who smack their chops when they eat. I mean really, is it that hard to close your mouth?

2. People who get moody or bitchy/sarcastic if you make a point that proves them wrong.

3. People who feel sorry for themselves and don't man up about things they can do NOTHING about.

4. New mothers who become their baby on Facebook.

5.

When someone says "macs are better because (insert retarded reason)"
I just want to make them understand hoe much they hurt my intelligence!

(and when they start talking about COD)

Same goes for PC users as well. And XBox/PS3/Wii elitist bullshitters. It just needs to be let lie already, we're all different! ARGH!

 

[PoliceBox63]

My mother when she chews anything remotely crunchy... oh dear lord -_-
And people who eat with their mouth open excessively.

OH GOD! i hate that!
i always crave to kill people who do that.

But I actually get really enraged. I dunno is it just that I've just woken up but when my dad is crunching his cornflakes I'm cursing under my breath and have a genuine urge to get up and bop him in the side of the head. hmm looking back on that, i need to take my pills jk It's an indescribable rage when you can hear someone chew -_-

 

[Je Suis Ubermonkey]

A girl in my history class once asked our teacher, in a very perplexed voice, "so where's Palestine?"

Not slapworthy?

We had been studying the Middle East, focused on Palestine/Israel, for the past 2/3 months. Our first homework was "find a map of the world and memorise the Middle East".

Still no slap?

Our class was meant to be made up of the intelligent history students - it was the only course in our year with minimum grade requirements for getting in.

This was not her first stupid comment, nor was it her last.

 

[enzilewulf]

Some ass came over when I was picking up papers that I did drop.

*Hurr hey buddy, you drop those?*

*No dick, I just threw them all over the place because I wanna play 50 card pick up*

slap

 

[Bloodstain]

For me it's when someone doesn't take me serious and insists I "just always want to be right" and won't listen to me.

Thanks for stomping on my already low self-esteem. I appreciate it. Really.

 

[Shockolate]

Literally 10 minutes ago over Steam chat.

Friend: Buzz Lightyear dies at the end of Toystory 3
Me: Wat. You're kidding right? They wouldn't.
Friend: LOL you have been trolled.
Me: >:CCCCCCC

I have yet to see the third, but Toystory is one of the few GOOD childhood memories I have, and I was quite miffed.