"You, my friend, deserve a slap."

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googleit6

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May 12, 2010
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People who complain about having bad marks in school when THEY were the ones who showed up twice a week throughout the year. If you want to fix your failing grade, try coming to school for once.
 

Deathsong17

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Feb 4, 2009
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Wardnath said:
Deathsong17 said:
People who haven't... Let's say, 'broadened their horizons' on music, yet magically have opinions on everything. Example: "How can you like Rock though? It's all 'rargh rargh rargh'".

If you've listened, and judged several different genres of music before refining your tastes, then I can respect your opinion. But people who are so closed minded and yet somehow have an opinion on genres they've never listened to just make me want to hit them!
But, but mate, all metal is just some idiot screaming into a microphone and some other jackass banging the drums like a complete lunatic.

amidoinitrite?
I'm not just refering to Metal, ya know. That's just a common example.
 

Penguinness

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May 25, 2010
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My mate said that "they" shouldn't be allowed to build a mosque in ___ (it was some place around the midlands, near him I think), because "we" can't build churches in "their" country.

He also wanted to have a car cruise to london as a protest for rising fuel prices.

He makes me rage.
 

Diddledock

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Jun 20, 2010
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PoliceBox63 said:
Diddledock said:
PoliceBox63 said:
And people who eat with their mouth open excessively.
People who does that makes me wanna punch babies.
Especially when it's the babies doing it .< jk
I mean holy shit, once when i did this important test in school i had this douchebag sitting behind me going OMNOMNOM with some damn candy. All the other people seemed to think this was totally okay except for me who wanted to take the my chair and fucking smash it over him.
 

Flight

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Mar 13, 2010
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Whenever somebody goes into a store and treats the workers there poorly because they're paid to be nice to them, I want to slap them.
 

Silent observer

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Jun 18, 2009
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People who complain about how cruel fate is to them - when in actuality all of their misfortune can be traced directly back to their own actions.
 

Last Bullet

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Apr 28, 2010
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This happened yesterday. Four friends were all going to move out together. One friend, who I will call M, decides (ten days before moving out, and the day before writing up the contract) to not move out. This pretty much screws over the other three, who all work at a place that has low hours in the winter. We're now shunning M (possibly forever), but if I see him... *slap*.
 

Darth Pope

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Jun 30, 2009
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If I slapped every person who did something that irritated me every time they did it I'd probably be in danger of my elbow falling off.
 

Poofs

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Nov 16, 2009
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whenever im in class and i will say an answer aloud and the teacher doesnt hear then the fucker next to me just steals it

anyone who thinks ordering a water at a restaurant makes them better than me
AKA health nuts

kids who slap the surface of the water with noodles in a pool
its even worse when adults do it
 

Plastic Muscles

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Apr 9, 2010
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Subzerowings said:
My friend: "I like Ke$ha."
*slap*
Me: "That'll teach you for not to having no taste!"
Fixed that for you.

A bad taste in music is still a taste in music if you like Kedollarha then you have no taste in music (heavy opinion alert).
 

dietpeachsnapple

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May 27, 2009
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AjimboB said:
When someone talks really loudly about their religion next to me. Normally, it would be fine, but it happens soo often that it drives me crazy.

I go to college, and sometimes I like to study in the student union between classes when I don't have time to go somewhere else (especially if I have a test next period). Well lately there have been this christian kids there doing Bible study. That's all well and good, read your bibles all you want, but what pisses me off is that all of them have their own bible, yet for some reason, they still feel the need to read aloud.

At one point, when I was studying for my Bio final, and these assholes started pulling this shit, I snapped, pulled out my zippo, and threatened to light their bibles if they didn't shut the fuck up.

Now, to be fair, it would have pissed me off regardless of what they were talking about really, but these little cunts are the only people I've ever seen who feel the need to read aloud even when EACH OF THEM has his own book, which is why I say religious people talking next to me pisses me off.
My sympathies. I have encountered the same sort, though I have not considered fire as a solution yet. It is more troublesome in the classroom, when they spout opinion and 'personal experience,' as valid points in an otherwise academic setting.

OP:

Racist comments employed for SHOCK value. Blatant 'real' racism I can tolerate oddly. It is either done out of ignorance - something I feel is environmentally inflicted through social conditioning - or out of sheer volitional stupidity - something I feel is worth laughing at, then staying away from lest it get on me.

But no, racism employed to get a rise out of people - THAT rubs me all sorts of wrong. I have a friend who does it OFTEN. I have told him, straight faced, "Someone is going to smack you some day. You will deserve it. I will shake their hand, thank them, and then make sure they cannot hit you again."
 

Pyotr Romanov

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Jul 8, 2009
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Je Suis Ubermonkey said:
A girl in my history class once asked our teacher, in a very perplexed voice, "so where's Palestine?"

Not slapworthy?
Indeed, not slapworthy.
In my history class, a girl once asked the teacher after a 40 minute long speech about the french revolution "So, is this now or in the past?". And after everybody dumbfoundedly looked at her and several facepalms had occured: "What? It could've been the past!".

How's that for slapworthy?

OT: People who think black people can't be racist.

Yeah, they exist...
 

dietpeachsnapple

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May 27, 2009
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HaraDaya said:
Crying babies.
I was on an airplane with two other guys, and we were constantly making the "shotgun cocking motions," as a solution to the crying baby epidemic right behind us. I politely suggested that we order the child a nice soothing glass of cognac, but they advised against it.