You wake up in a horror movie. What do you do?

[PinkiePyro]

as an unattractive virgin female chances I will survive
I will however get a weapon Utter warnings to the soon to be victims and head to a brightly lit busy place

 

[ekkaman]

Find topless teenies and party.

 

[natster43]

Not be a main character.

 

[Do4600]

Make sure that fucker is dead the first time, bet he can't get back up and kill anybody when his head is in my fridge.

 

[sgt. soap mctavish]

NUMBER ONE RULE: If there is a serial killer in your town, then...GTFO OF THE TOWN!!!

 

[Vanbael]

Try not to die, figure out how to stop said horror, find other people to die for me.

 

[Death on Trapezoids]

If I'm an extra, I'd accept my fate and pick up a gun to take as many zombies with me as I can.

If I'm a main character, I would insist everyone stays in the well trained, well armed, sane group with a clear chain of command. I would then proceed arm myself with a chainsaw and double-barreled shotgun, put on a ripped blue shirt, and start snarking one liners like my life depended on it. Which it would.

 

[Racecarlock]

I'd flash the bat signal. Batman has some kind of magical metal that makes it so he can punch ghosts and anything else he'll punch to death anyways.

 

[A Distant Star]

I grab a meat cleaver and get to work.

 

[game-lover]

I'm gonna follow the lead of everyone else and do the best I can at remembering and following every single survival rule for horror movies.

As a black girl, it will be harder for me. But Brandy survived "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer". So I know there is hope.

 

[SD-Fiend]

piss myself seeing as i'm probably the black guy

 

[Blindswordmaster]

Genre shift! Just put on some sunglasses and reach into your coat. Don't worry, you'll find dual pistols there. Go to town.

 

[General BrEeZy]

grab my knifes and swords, sit in a wide-open place and wait for the mo-fo to try and kill me. then kill him/it. die to save the people if necessary. but definitely give them my weapons if it came to that.

celebratory sex with the hot chick that would die otherwise if we made it through it all. i think i'd deserve that much...

 

[game-lover]

there's a (pretty poor) horror movie called house on haunted hill, in which the protagonists decide to spend a night in the, I kid you not, haunted mental asylum where a doctor went mad and killed all those people 50 years ago tonight. seriously, ya don't do that.

In their defense, they didn't believe in haunted places and there was like 1 million bucks at stake... And they'd earn an extra million if any of the other people were... otherwise indisposed.

Still stupid but at least it wasn't just for kicks.

 

[TheRookie8]

1. Don't do anything stupid. Analyze the situation, and find others.
2. Form a survival group, and punch the most innocent-looking one just to be sure.
3. You just struck the innocent-looking one, so now you're the mean one.
4. Become the take-charge mean one, and lead your team to safety!
5. You got some of your people killed by the monster/killer.
6. In the midst of this tragedy, take the oppurtunity to romance your love interest.
7. A helpful stranger reveals a critical plot detail/ tries to kill you. Say thanks, or run.
8. Big surprise, your innocent-looking group member snaps and tries to kill you.
9. After the traitor dies in some ironic way, confront the remaining threats.
10. If this is a happy movie, you will make it out alive with your love interest, maybe more.
11. If this is a sad movie, an unknown amount of you will perish.

A. If you survived, hooray, get some rest for a sequel.
B. If you died, get some rest for...ever.
C. Sequels (seriously).

 

[sahwar]

Step 1: Switch to a different channel/film with the omnipotent remote control, obviously. If you can't, you're screw*d. Do some funny dances and wait for your imminent doom inside a 1000% booby trapped house, where you're inside the rock solid bullet-proof completely self-sustaining panic room, full of years of supplies. Make sure you're alone. Put a laser defence system just in case the killer gets you and then tries to escape.
Step 2: Make sure to read TVtropes.org's horror-related articles to be prepared. Arm yourself, stay in a group of innocent dudes.
Step 3: Turn off the damn manipulating TV damn it (to exit the horror movie), and go out to the nearest public place with lots of people and plenty of real policemen. Then realise that the RL is worse off than any horror movie because when you die in RL, you die forever and that's it for you. Make sure to marry and have healthy and good children. Also, don't do B+ titles, obviously, they always end up badly.

 

[Robot n.o 9124791234]

FIRE MY LAZOR!!

 

[joshuaayt]

Delight in telling people not to do those stupid horror movie things, whilst adding in phrases like "Dude, do you *ever* watch horror movies?" or "DON'T GO UP THE STAIRS, DON'T GO UP THE STAIRS!"

Anyway, I'd group up and actually stay in the goddamn group. In case of zombies, I will not leave the safe area unless there is an actual pressing need- No heading to a military checkpoint that will inevitably be taken over/filled with rapists, whilst the still secure base we left behind has supplies enough for months.

I would not be a dickhead to my team members, and will definitely be one of the guys who wants to go back to save that one girl (But I would NOT do it alone- the leader would have to come with me)

I wouldn't drink, and I'd not once bring up religion to anyone. What else...

Oh, right. If we do actually have to leave our base- for something serious, like medication or to escape from the zombies who have breached our first defense- I would be the guy who points out how ludicrous the Leader's plan is, and then follows it up with an "Ok, I'm in". I would NOT actually argue with the Leader.

 

[Cheesus333]

Play loud, upbeat music over the dread score.

Spoiler: For starters...

And also dress like a cowboy. And scream quotes from Pride & Prejudice every time I do something.

Let's see them make that dramatic!