That's not a hypothetical, I always wake up with no one across the room from me. I live in a studio apartment with a couple of rats whose cage is off in one corner.
Irony said:
"Vaarsuvius, why are you in my room and more importantly why the fuck are you a unicorn?"
(And possibly ask if she needed help getting back to Equestria. Also, why she (or they, if you're also counting Twilight) are in my room. Seriously, that's a little odd. )
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