Your biggest dick move

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eatenbyagrue

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Dec 25, 2008
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Once, there was this guy in my class who was hairy as is humanly possible. And he liked to show it off. A LOT. Man looked like he was wearing a shag carpet on his back, it was that bad.

So as our last year of high school came up, we found that we'd be rooming with him, five to a room. We talked to him and asked him not to sleep shirtless, on the grounds off "Ew, gross."

Well he did, the fucker.

So while he was sleeping, we took three long strips of duct tape, stuck them to his back, then sat up and waited for him to wake up in the morning.

His screams while pulling the tape off: PRICELESS.

The subsequent ass-kicking: TOTALLY WORTH IT.
 

Sn1P3r M98

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May 30, 2010
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Tdc2182 said:
Also, Something that really bothers me, I am a complete asshole to my little brother when he sometimes doesn't deserve it. I am a very nice person in real life. Very approachable, and I go out of my way to help other younger kids and loners at my school when they are looking scared or confused, something that gets me a lot of smack from my friends.

But for some reason, I am all the things I hate about other people to my little bro. It now physically feels weird and uncomfortable to be nice to him. I'm pretty sure that once I get away from my family for a while, I'll lighten up.
Same thing here. It feels strange to be even decent to him in any way,when I normally am fond of littler kids. I think I just need to take a break and stay away from him for a while.

Now i can't think of anything OT to post XD.
 

Lust

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Mar 23, 2010
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I twisted a friend's broken finger........................................................so.......................yeah........
 

YouEatLard

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Jun 20, 2010
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Seriously? Thats all you have? Hmmm... maybe I am going to hell. Where to start....

Age 12, I regularly took younger cousin's loudest toys outside, turned them on, set them on fire, and then would yell for him so he'd see. That same cousin was regularly hung from a door knob by his underwear.

Age 15 I would regularly take my younger step sibling's toys outside and throw them in the lake. I only threw noisy ones in.... well that and some of their favorite ones.

That December, one of the step siblings was calling me names. I picked him up by his underwear, walked outside and threw him in the lake.

I superglue a sibling's hands to his face. He couldn't feed or dress himself till after a trip to the hospital.

While another was sleeping I wrapped him up in his bed sheets and carried the whole mess down the hall. (Think Santa Claus.) I threw the hole mess down the stairs.

Daily I would liberate an item from my teacher's desk. Soon she was complaining about her 2 hole punches, 3 staplers, 3 boxes of markers, and finally the icing on the cake: 2 weeks of base copy work sheets. No homework for 2 weeks.

Ok.... lets fast forward.... There's more.... but... yeah

I locked my coworker in a tiny basement area. Found out he was afraid of small spaces and the dark. Atleast thats what his supervisor told me after he was found 3 hours later.

Bets - It's amazing what you'll get people to do when you put $100 on the table....

I bet 3 other coworkers to drink a gallon of milk (each) in an hour and hold it down for another
hour. The look on their faces when they were 90% of the way done was priceless. (*Oh.... oh god this was a bad idea*). Ok, yeah, none of them held it down. Best part.... for less then $10 I gave 3 people the runs for the next 2 days. (Yeah, much of it comes back up.... but by then the damage is already done)

I bet a coworker to eat a large can of corn in 2 hours and keep it down for the rest of the day. He came close.... didn't make it. He did hold it down though. Also complained about defecating corn for the next week.

I bet a coworker to eat a jar of mayonnaise plus a can of coke in an hour and keep it down for another hour. So close..... She didn't make it.

I told a coworker I'd pay him $50 to snort a can of Dr. Pepper. He gave up half way through. Was so awesome while it lasted though. Snort... Gag... Cry... Snort gag, sputter.... cry some more..

Offered money to have another female eat a jar of pickles and drink the juice in an hour and hold it down for another. She was close. Turns out that drinking that much vinegar really messes with digestion. Complained about diarrhea for the next week.

Offered $40 to another to eat 3 habanero peppers raw (including the seeds) in 15 minutes. He gave up after only 2. He yelled for something to drink.... I gave him a warm Dr.Pepper. Off he went down the hall screaming.

Other fun with co workers...

I put every chair in the building in a co-worker's office. The office is not much bigger then a bed room and we had over a 100 chairs in there. She had to climb over and through them just to turn the lights on.

I took a 5 inch leg-span spider throughout different offices, setting it loose, taking pictures of it by "land marks" in their offices and then left the pictures laying out. The spider was later released into my back yard unharmed. Discovered >20% of my coworkers were terrified of spiders.

Took office desk chairs from 3 different offices, belonging to 3 different people apart and then rearranged the parts so that no single one had enough to make a chair. I left each of them with an hex wrench... all of them too small or too big to do anything with.

hmm....I think that's enough for now....
 

laststandman

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Jun 27, 2009
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Okay this is not half as bad as that resume of dick-ness above mine, but one time a kid at my day camp was making fun of me for having ADD, and he would always scream about everything. So at one point he was screaming about how he got packed a shitty lunch, so I casually said "Geez, no wonder your parents are divorced."

That ************ never fucked with me ever again.
 

Tonythion

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Aug 28, 2010
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While getting out of school I had my friend pick me up and when he asked who this one girl was I said "Oh dude, she's gay." ...She isn't.

In middle school I put lotion in a condom and then put it on the principal's door knob, he wasn't happy.

One time I lit a tennis ball on fire and threw it at my friend, I got burnt a bit but his clothes didn't come out alright.
 

Vilcus

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Jun 29, 2009
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I was playing Halo: Reach and some guy just kept trash talking everyone in the game and said we all sucked, even though the games were usually fairly close in score. So we all decided we'd had enough of his shit, and everyone agreed via message on X-box live that we wouldn't do anything if he was on our team. The goal was basically to make him leave (because we had all been playing for a while, and didn't feel like giving into his crap. Eventually he stopped talking and left because on every team he joined, no one would move, and he just got continually destroyed because he had nobody to back him up. It was hilarious to see him leave defeated. Unfortunately we started losing people the second he left because most of them only stayed to piss him off.

I don't know if this is so much a dick move, as it is a bunch of people working together to troll an asshole. Still, it took some work to do, and a lot of friend invites, along with some people I knew in passing. The end result was totally worth the effort.
 

crudus

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Oct 20, 2008
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I killed a man. Ok I didn't intentionally kill him. But do to a sequence of events that I put into motion, someone died. Then I had a sandwich. The bread was a little dry
(cookie for reference)

I caused the end of a 4 year relationship between two people just because I wanted to get laid.
 

Eumersian

Posting in the wrong thread.
Sep 3, 2009
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I wrote parts in a concert band piece with long flowing lines and minimal breath space. I even expected my high school band to be able to play it. I'm a dick.
 

SimuLord

Whom Gods Annoy
Aug 20, 2008
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Broke up with a girl by unfriending her on Facebook and not answering her calls. To be fair, she wasn't getting the message that I wasn't interested and was rapidly approaching creepy-stalker-chick territory.
 

Comrade Mateo

Inventor of the POWER STANCE
May 1, 2009
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This happened today, actually, and I (plus the rest of the crew) laughed our respective asses off.

Basically, I am an ASM in my schools Fall Production. Asides from having a metric asston of work, I also have a slight amount of power over the other people. So, today I was going to the props room to get something (a prop) and this guy who is notoriously loud is standing out there with another guy badmouthing Portal. So I go up to him and yell "David! FUCK! WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU, COULD YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP SO WE CAN PRACTICE THE DAMN PLAY!"

Then I made him clean the bathrooms for not helping anyone.

After I lol'd.
 

Codor

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Feb 21, 2010
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Thealchemistofwhite said:
Well the worst thing I've done, was I went to this movie theatre and I had all this vomit, and I sat on the balcony and I threw it down, and all the people were vomiting all over each other and ahh it was horrible *crys* That was the worst thing I ever done in my life.

*cookies to those that get the reference*
Goonies would be what that's from.
OT: I threw a bunch of ignited fire crackers out a door at my friends the screams were funny.
 

EvilMaggot

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Sep 18, 2008
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my exgirlfriends foot getting run over my a truck coming home crying and i leave out of the door and breaking up with her on the phone on my way home..within 30 minutes... im still regretting it to this day...
 

Velocinox

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Sep 28, 2010
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had sex with my friends fiancee and then wife, the night before and the night after (not the night of) their wedding. (among other nights and days, but those two would be the biggest dickest moves I ever made.)
 

Btango

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Feb 23, 2010
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Told a girl id be with her forever so shed leave a kid i hated. then slept with her best friend that same day. ITS GOOD TO BE KING.