Well if you are into that sort of thing then that's your prerogative, though I'm sure my girlfriend would appreciate my partaking.theironbat46 said:
YOUR SURVIVAL PLAN FOR A HORROR FILM!
- Thread starter Mr.Mattress
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One. Be the killer.
Two. Since i am the joker/pretty boy, ex stoner, man whore of my immediate group of friends (to be fair most of them are either in a committed relationship or are super game nerds.) My only hope is to be the studely and muscular protagonist that gets the girl, or dies in order to save her. FUCK THAT
three. Be any one else in the movie. I mean just a random, an extra. Just that kid at school. Not a cop, not popular, and def. not at the popular kids sex and drug party. Hell. When does the D&D nerd ever get wacked?
Four. Kind of a continuation. Most of these movies are written by the nerds and outcasts and target the popular crowd, that being said i would be the nerd out cast writer!
Five. Seeing as how my favorite killer attacks people in their dreams, and i am an avid dreamer i am fucked. Unless i get black out drunk every night because then i wont dream.
So Recap. Be the killer, be the main character, be any one else, be the writer, and if you find your self on elm street switch to hard liquor instead of niquill to get you to bed at night.
Two. Since i am the joker/pretty boy, ex stoner, man whore of my immediate group of friends (to be fair most of them are either in a committed relationship or are super game nerds.) My only hope is to be the studely and muscular protagonist that gets the girl, or dies in order to save her. FUCK THAT
three. Be any one else in the movie. I mean just a random, an extra. Just that kid at school. Not a cop, not popular, and def. not at the popular kids sex and drug party. Hell. When does the D&D nerd ever get wacked?
Four. Kind of a continuation. Most of these movies are written by the nerds and outcasts and target the popular crowd, that being said i would be the nerd out cast writer!
Five. Seeing as how my favorite killer attacks people in their dreams, and i am an avid dreamer i am fucked. Unless i get black out drunk every night because then i wont dream.
So Recap. Be the killer, be the main character, be any one else, be the writer, and if you find your self on elm street switch to hard liquor instead of niquill to get you to bed at night.
Have some common sense and your survival chances are upped by at least 50%. Most cliche horror characters make bad/stupid decisions that most people wouldn't.
Hahahahhaa.... Oh wait.LordOmnit said:
*also dead*
It sucks. The world needs laughter, why do we have to die!? D:
Also OP: Can we tone down the caps please...? It's 4am here and they're trying to eat my soul.
Also they're kinda unnecessary...
Yes I am a Caps Nazi.
Survial list
1.dont have sex
2.dont turn your back to anything but your friends back
3.no dreaming blackouts only
4.hire chuck norris if possiable
5.do not make fun of killer or silent weired girl
6.do not have large breast [tape them down]
7.do not be black
8.do not make jokes ever
9.carry a gun and make sure its loaded every 5 mins
10.do not be blonde
11.do not let cops take you to a seclueded police staion
12.do not do anything at night
13.do not read out of strange books
14.do not watch tv
15.do not go to creepy houses
thats all i can think of. if its a zombie survival go to a army base as soon as possiable do not get out of your car ever but odds are the army will kill you to cover it up so dress up nice so when your turned you will feast on flesh with style
1.dont have sex
2.dont turn your back to anything but your friends back
3.no dreaming blackouts only
4.hire chuck norris if possiable
5.do not make fun of killer or silent weired girl
6.do not have large breast [tape them down]
7.do not be black
8.do not make jokes ever
9.carry a gun and make sure its loaded every 5 mins
10.do not be blonde
11.do not let cops take you to a seclueded police staion
12.do not do anything at night
13.do not read out of strange books
14.do not watch tv
15.do not go to creepy houses
thats all i can think of. if its a zombie survival go to a army base as soon as possiable do not get out of your car ever but odds are the army will kill you to cover it up so dress up nice so when your turned you will feast on flesh with style
Listen to happy music. No kidding, right? If the music is happy, the situation is less shitty. But listen to it quietly.
Stay out of the way of people who think they can BLAST their way to freedom. People who try to kill an unkillable killer with guns are idiots.
Stay away from people who try and outsmart the killer.
Avoid enclosed spaces. (Treehouse, rooms with one exit, cars, etc.)
Have a gun. Even though it can't kill him, it will make me feel more secure even though I've never fired a gun in my life.
HIDE! I don't wanna deal with the killer's mommy issues, and learn why he is the way he is, or be a protagonist and be running my ass off the entire movie. I'm not a fast runner. The bad guy would get me in two seconds, even if he does that fast walk that killers always do.
So, my main goal: HIDE!
I don't think clearly when I'm scared. Example: If I see a spider, I bolt. No matter the size.
Stay out of the way of people who think they can BLAST their way to freedom. People who try to kill an unkillable killer with guns are idiots.
Stay away from people who try and outsmart the killer.
Avoid enclosed spaces. (Treehouse, rooms with one exit, cars, etc.)
Have a gun. Even though it can't kill him, it will make me feel more secure even though I've never fired a gun in my life.
HIDE! I don't wanna deal with the killer's mommy issues, and learn why he is the way he is, or be a protagonist and be running my ass off the entire movie. I'm not a fast runner. The bad guy would get me in two seconds, even if he does that fast walk that killers always do.
So, my main goal: HIDE!
I don't think clearly when I'm scared. Example: If I see a spider, I bolt. No matter the size.
Erm, surely the best way is be the murderer/ evil entity? That way even if you die or are destroyed/ exponged you know there will be doubts about your destruction and possibly a sequel involving you being even more badass than before.
OH. I forgot to mention. When you hide, do not do the scream into your hand thing, or sudden movements. gets you caught 10/10 times.
And dont leave cover just cause he walks away for a nano-second.
And dont leave cover just cause he walks away for a nano-second.
I don't go in the room the killer is and shout "Hello?". Also the first chance i get i drive off.
People keep saying the drive off thing, but most serial killers possess the plot-convenient power to make cars not start when they're in the proximity. It's like they one-hit KO the ignition with their massive aura of evulz.SnootyEnglishman said:
