Your useless superpower

[Admiral Stukov]

The poer to ninja anyone on the internet.

 

[justnotcricket]

The power to instantly untangle clingfilm from itself. I reckon it'd come in quite handy while making lunch in the morning...

 

[JupiterBase]

The ability to spontaneously cook sushi i come with a 100 yards of, which would make my arch-enemy a sushi chef. Which one of us do you think the villain is?

 

[RedDeadFred]

The ability to say c*nt so politely and professionally that people can't be offended when I say it. They merely be distracted briefly because of how beautiful I can make the word.

 

[Captain Ninja]

the power to convince myself that Alt F4 is actually a cheat code

 

[Pink_Pirate]

having molecular acid for semen

 

[Guestowel]

Open beer cans without touching them

 

[Triple AD]

The ability to make the perfect bacon

OM NOM NOM

 

[Lucifron]

The power to raise a single eyebrow at will, like the doctor in Star Trek: Voyager but even better.

 

[AngloDoom]

I can iron a shirt so well it never needs ironing again, even if it was to put in both a washing-machine and tumble-dryer!

Gasp! Shock! Awe! M'right?

 

[CouchCommando]

The ability to see the future, but you can only recall your vision after the event happens!

 

[KenzS]

I have x-ray vision, but I suffer severe radiation burns in the process...

 

[Queen Michael]

The ability to look just like Michael Katsuro from Sweden. The problem? I'm Michael Katsuro form Sweden! (But the upside is that I really do possess this superpower.)

 

[KenzS]

I can flatulate at any pitch or frequency I desire, but i can't control the smell....

 

[Xeros]

The ability to manipulate styrofoam.