Your useless superpower

[AwesomeExpress]

The ability to know when a girl wants to make out/is horny.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

Dun dun duh! It's the amazing sea cucumber man! He has the amazing ability to shit out his intestines on pursuers so they get tangled up and burn to death.


Although the ability to tell what the serial number of a bus is by smell.

 

[Noxshadow]

Being invisible only when no one or nothing is looking at me.

 

[effilctar]

The power to suggest use of the Search Bar.

I have the power to direct people towards the thread stickied on page one where Kuliani states that if a thread is inactive for over a month, the particular subject is considered fair game.

EDIT: Apologies are due if you did not make that post aimed at the OP.

 

[Convictfish]

I would have the power to turn my tongue blue!

Dude, drink Powerade/Gatorade/Kool-Aid....

OT: The power to control traffic lights during the hours of 7-9am on weekdays.

 

[bloodknight13]

The power to kill any nation's leader only when their secret service type organization is 3 feet to my left.

 

[Benj17]

the abilty to wipe off "multipack only" from coke cans, i an attempt to re sell them

 

[cheese_wizington]

See Through Clothes-o-Vision that only works on people 80 and up.

 

[Zeromaeus]

The ability to breath underwater, but not above it.

 

[thepopeofatheism]

The ability to breath underwater, but not above it.

That's what a reverse SCUBA suit is for!

OT: Being immune to bagels

 

[TK421]

The ability to change the thread count of any cloth.

 

[TheScarecrow]

The ability to hear in the dark.

 

[Zodiac_A17]

I have the ability to recall any piece of information as long as I'll never EVER have any use for it.

The moment a piece of information becomes even marginally useful, I forget it completely.

That's common among myself as well.

 

[awesomebillfromdawsonville]

The power to poop out toilet paper.

 

[Zeromaeus]

The ability to breath underwater, but not above it.

That's what a reverse SCUBA suit is for!

OT: Being immune to bagels

I'd be a real life Big Daddy. Only immobile. Those suits are heavy.

 

[Souldemon8]

pyrokenisis but i can still get burnt

 

[SamiePC]

I would be ab le to fly, but only when surounded with electrical wires and its foggy outside.

 

[Yopaz]

Reminds me of Mystery Men, the kid who had the power to turn invisible when no-one was looking. Great movie.

My useless super power would be to be able to say any unknown fact, and I mean anything that could ever be useful to science or history every, but only when I smell like booze and walks around on the streets dressed like a bum.

Edit:

The ability to hear in the dark.

Dang, I think I got that one! Btw, thanks for making my day while it's only just started. Made me burst out laughing.

 

[beefpelican]

To have an axe-murderer's beard that turns invisible, but it only works when you aren't facing me.

Are axe murderers known for their beards?

I would have the ability to detonate any of my limbs. I would only use this power once. I would regret it afterward.

http://lolblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/beard.png

Cartoon reference

So they do!