Your Villianous Monlogue!

[Ze_Reaper_Of_Zeath]

Hero: This is MADNESS!

Me: Madness? THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Hero: Oh F****

 

[NIHILHATE]

"Away with you, I'm sleeping."
Alternatively -
"BWAAARRRGGGHHH!!" as I tear his skull to pieces with my teeth.

 

[Radelaide]

I wouldn't have one. For the simple fact that the good guy ALWAYS escapes during the monologue. So I'd be all, *captures the good guy* *shoots in head*

 

[ironmace2.0]

Me: Whats that over there (pulls out sniper)
Hero: (looks over)
Me: suck on the *****! (bang headshot)

then I go to rebuild my empire of ninja monkeys.

That would be awesome!

 

[joschen]

As i finish my speech of how my ingenious plan of will play out, the hero raises his katana for a final blow.

But as the swords reaches the top, a claymore pierces out of the chest of the hero. He looks upon the blade in silent agony, just to a second later collapse, dead.

Its hes best friend who have betrayed him, as he have realized the full extent of my plan. But i refuse to share the power and wealth that my plan would bring, a epic battle unfolds.

But i am too weak from the earlier fight whit the hero, yet the betrayer barely get away whit his life.
The fight ends whit me succumbing to my wounds, still standing, giving a final speech of how worthless wealth and power is. Making the betrayer feel all bad about himself. MOHAHAHA!

 

[Mr. Bojangles]

ME: "So, you've finally found me, eh? I always thought you would beat those mindless gorillas I had guarding me. Not much of a challenge, really. But I'm surprised you got this far because I thought you would have realised by now..."

*Picks up cane and taps heart.*

ME: "I can't die."

*Hero looks at me amused*

ME: "You see, I'm not technically human. I am in fact immo-"

*Hero interupts by riddling me with bullets. He walks over to my body smoking on the floor, smiling. His smile fades as I slowly rise, brushing my suit. As I speak I pull each individual bullet out of my body.*

ME: "Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

*Hero hesitates.*

HERO: "You killed my mother."

ME: "Ah, yes. Well I'm sure she would have told you it's very rude to interupt people while they are talking. It's even ruder to shoot them and surely you didn't have to shoot me so many times. I was going to say I'm invincible, indestructable, even, immortal."

*I slowly bend over and pick up my cane*

ME: "Also, I think you'll find that you, my friend, are quite mortal. You could die in an instant. Just like this."

*I swing to punch him but he dodges.*

ME: "You will also find that you should always expect the unexpected."

*A blade slides out of the bottom of my cane. I swing to punch again and he dodges with ease.*

ME: "One more thing."

*I swing around quickly and stab him in the head with my cane, going straight through his skull amd protrudin out the other side.*

ME: "I never miss."

*I slide my cane out of his face and wipe the blood off*

ME: "Good day."

*And with that I disappear*



It might be a bit cheesy but I like it. Also for extra effect I have a Manchester accent so if you read it out in a raspy Mancunian voice it adds effect.

 

[Riobux]

Shall we begin?

Best monologue I've read in ages and the best monologue that hasn't been used professionally in a book, play or movie. Grats.

Well, I had a swing myself.

*Claps slowly with legs crossed on a chair*

"Right on cue."

*Stops clapping and casually stands up*.

"What you see before you is not so much a monster but simply a man. The average layman will think about me until his dying breath as though I was born evil and had evil intentions from the start, an insult and an example of the tyranny of man. The psychologists will use me as an example of nature and nurture. Did I, and the corpses of who were once men, naturally become the being that is in front of you or was I raised in such a way to develop the view points I have? Why did people behave as they will? They'll cite Zimbardo and Milgram as reasons, but they couldn't be more wrong. The minions you have slain and the guards you have dispatched weren't forced into a situation that demanded them to conform and obey, but rather given the free will to be part of us or part of the crowd. Naturally, they joined, out of just a sense of belonging. As we approach a more individualistic society, are we not losing our heart in everything we believe in. Are we not becoming more hollow and more materialistic? Are we not laying open the chance for a group like mine that all we ask is obedience and conformity and they can finally have a sense of belonging to something more deeper than wealth and property?"

*Starts pacing*.

"Sociologists will use my methods as an example of everything wrong about men in power. Marxists will use me as the personification of the ruling class while the radical feminists will cite me as the best example of men dominating the females. This is despite my collection of minions and guardsmen being male, female, working class or upper class, a whole multitude of different coloured skin and all with different view points on different theories. You don't need to sell your soul to get into this club. This isn't hell you know. All we ask is to accept one ideology, and that is we're doing this for the good of society.

As long as time goes on, people like you, the heroes, will need a bad guy to fight. Someone to point the finger and say ?that's him! He did it!?. There will always be bad guys and bad men. There will always be terrorists. There will always be groups of people killing innocent people for wealth. For your society, the good people of your city, to become collective; to come together and be united under a common hate, because there is no such thing as a common love to be united under, there must be a bad guy that stands out. In the past, there was ideologies but they created fear. The fear that no matter what you could do, you could never crush them out completely and anyone could turn into one. Including your children, your siblings and even your parents. Your friends could come to school one day believing in the ideology one day and the previous day was opposed to it. At least with me, there is a tangible figure. Something people can point at and say ?if this guy was killed, we'd save so much lives?. So unlike ideologies, while I am somewhat fear inducing, I'm also uniting people.

That is the ideology that I asked my people to accept and the only requirement they needed. Some believed in it passionately, almost as much as I do. That we are a necessary evil to allow society to function and the good to prevail. Some didn't care and just pursued their personal goals like money, fame and fun. Others who tried to join didn't agree with the ideology and, naturally, were shot out back. The kids you found every so often at the bottom of a river or shot in the woods, they were the people who wanted the cities you cherish to burn.

When I'm gone though, and I can tell I wouldn't be leaving this place alive, know that all the good I achieved and the good intentions I had in my state of lawful evil, know that I wouldn't ever be thanked. We didn't do this with the knowledge that we'd be praised, but so people like you would be. We didn't murder those people you're here to avenge for personal enjoyment, but as a reminder to keep together and stay united. Not to mention, what is a hero without a villain and with me gone, all you'll have is random ideologies to attack and chaos. Blood, fire and chaos."

*Stops pacing, turns to the heroes and removes handgun from holster.*

"So let's make this a battle to remember and one that will go down in history."

 

[Alphavillain]

"Ah, hello *hero's name*. I suppose you want to know why I want to destroy the whole world with this giant ray gun *gestures with a sweeping hand gesture towards giant ray gun. Smiles*. Well, it all began when I was at school. I knew I was different to the others: better, smarter, and, in the showers, I realised... bigger as well. *Laughs* Do you want to see it? I think we should battle with...*Reaches toward the button fly of his trousers*

*Hero shoots him in the head*
*Game ends*

 

[Mr. Bojangles]

Ok, I thought I'd sit down and write one as I did above. But, really I have no hope of beating these two:

There was a time when I would have fallen long before this point. Where the right minds would have known of the threat as it arose. Common sense, uniting together those who would put aside their differences to fight a common enemy. History repeats itself, and yet every time we follow it blindly. Never once thinking "Stop, wait, slow down." No. Instead we entrust our future into the hands of those who say continue on. And yet we rely on critics to tell us what movies to watch. Designers to tell us what clothes to wear. In these irrelevant individuals we place our lives, and in doing so we allow ourselves to be led along. Fed from the trough of ignorance, blissfully unaware that our very existence is a crime against the world we occupy without right or just cause. There was a time when we would look upon people like these in disgust. As the dregs of society.

But then there came the modern era. An era of diluted blood, where the lowest common denominator was not an insult but a badge. A mark of honor, worn with pride and distinction, were such words known to these people. When the masses would bark like mindless dogs, hating something not because they knew why but because someone told them to. And later that same day, they would turn around and support the very thing they hate with all their might. Such idiocy, such blind devotion to maintaining the status quo at the expense of their own individuality, allowed for the likes of me to work to such a complete degree. It was almost poetic, really, watching as society crumbled not from bombs or bullets, but from its own desire to further its own sense of self.

Where there was once innovation and genius, now there was only an empty void. Goals of advancing science and technology for the better of humanity replaced with making cell phones smaller, and creating new ways to listen to the same song from twenty artists. And we say "Oh boo hoo, to the starving" as we listen to them, throwing our money at their feet. "Boo hoo to the dying" we say, before turning the channel. A race of hypocrites, blind fools. We care only of our own bubble, that which exists in front of us. As a child knows nothing beyond the obsession of everything he sees, so too did we devolve into a state of utter self obsession.

Before long the mindless drones that constituted the masses of humanity devolved to such a point one could hardly tell them apart from the cattle they consumed in the fast food restaurant on every corner. Occasionally sipping from their coffee, utterly oblivious to the world beyond their block. Beyond their commute to a job they hated. Spending their days in malls filled with hundreds of stores selling the same clothes, thinking to themselves that they were doing something important with their lives.

And yet, here we are now. I have ascended to this place not through acts of violence, but acts of intelligence. I have sidestepped the debris of the former world, hurdling over those who fell attempting to maintain it. And you would kill me? For what? For attempting to bring order to the chaos? You, with your Mac Book Pro, and your Sony Ericsson, and your designer pants and jacket. You defend a world that has no place being. Kill me, and what do you do? You admit that stupidity is law. You admit that you are better off blindly following those who would use you for your own purpose. You would admit that I was right from the beginning. So kill me, it will not matter. I will be no villain, and you no hero. Tomorrow the world shall continue on oblivious, and we will be lost to time.

Tiger Woods has a new mistress, and neither you or I are she.

*casually draws sword*

Shall we begin?

Best monologue I've read in ages and the best monologue that hasn't been used professionally in a book, play or movie. Grats.

Well, I had a swing myself.

*Claps slowly with legs crossed on a chair*

"Right on cue."

*Stops clapping and casually stands up*.

"What you see before you is not so much a monster but simply a man. The average layman will think about me until his dying breath as though I was born evil and had evil intentions from the start, an insult and an example of the tyranny of man. The psychologists will use me as an example of nature and nurture. Did I, and the corpses of who were once men, naturally become the being that is in front of you or was I raised in such a way to develop the view points I have? Why did people behave as they will? They'll cite Zimbardo and Milgram as reasons, but they couldn't be more wrong. The minions you have slain and the guards you have dispatched weren't forced into a situation that demanded them to conform and obey, but rather given the free will to be part of us or part of the crowd. Naturally, they joined, out of just a sense of belonging. As we approach a more individualistic society, are we not losing our heart in everything we believe in. Are we not becoming more hollow and more materialistic? Are we not laying open the chance for a group like mine that all we ask is obedience and conformity and they can finally have a sense of belonging to something more deeper than wealth and property?"

*Starts pacing*.

"Sociologists will use my methods as an example of everything wrong about men in power. Marxists will use me as the personification of the ruling class while the radical feminists will cite me as the best example of men dominating the females. This is despite my collection of minions and guardsmen being male, female, working class or upper class, a whole multitude of different coloured skin and all with different view points on different theories. You don't need to sell your soul to get into this club. This isn't hell you know. All we ask is to accept one ideology, and that is we're doing this for the good of society.

As long as time goes on, people like you, the heroes, will need a bad guy to fight. Someone to point the finger and say ?that's him! He did it!?. There will always be bad guys and bad men. There will always be terrorists. There will always be groups of people killing innocent people for wealth. For your society, the good people of your city, to become collective; to come together and be united under a common hate, because there is no such thing as a common love to be united under, there must be a bad guy that stands out. In the past, there was ideologies but they created fear. The fear that no matter what you could do, you could never crush them out completely and anyone could turn into one. Including your children, your siblings and even your parents. Your friends could come to school one day believing in the ideology one day and the previous day was opposed to it. At least with me, there is a tangible figure. Something people can point at and say ?if this guy was killed, we'd save so much lives?. So unlike ideologies, while I am somewhat fear inducing, I'm also uniting people.

That is the ideology that I asked my people to accept and the only requirement they needed. Some believed in it passionately, almost as much as I do. That we are a necessary evil to allow society to function and the good to prevail. Some didn't care and just pursued their personal goals like money, fame and fun. Others who tried to join didn't agree with the ideology and, naturally, were shot out back. The kids you found every so often at the bottom of a river or shot in the woods, they were the people who wanted the cities you cherish to burn.

When I'm gone though, and I can tell I wouldn't be leaving this place alive, know that all the good I achieved and the good intentions I had in my state of lawful evil, know that I wouldn't ever be thanked. We didn't do this with the knowledge that we'd be praised, but so people like you would be. We didn't murder those people you're here to avenge for personal enjoyment, but as a reminder to keep together and stay united. Not to mention, what is a hero without a villain and with me gone, all you'll have is random ideologies to attack and chaos. Blood, fire and chaos."

*Stops pacing, turns to the heroes and removes handgun from holster.*

"So let's make this a battle to remember and one that will go down in history."

Bravo chaps. Bloody good show!

 

[Angerwing]

So you're here. Why do you bother? What do you think my death will achieve? Peace of mind? Hardly. Once I fall you'll have nothing left. For years you've had one identity. Vengeance. Who will you be after you stand over my lifeless corpse? Where will you live? Who will you love? How could you go on living in a mundane world after everything you've done and been through?

You wish to kill me for 'justice' for the death of you family, but how many bodies have you climbed to reach me? Every one of those men had a life; years of experience, memories, love, loss, families, enemies... And you've snatched that away in an instant, without so much as a second thought. You've become what you've hunted and hated for so long. Deep down you know this...

*Hero raises gun*

So you'll kill me in cold blood then? So be it. You have doubts, don't you?

*Hero pulls trigger*

Spoiler: *I get shot, a la*

*Hero walks up to my body*

*I quickly pull out a gun and shoot him in the gut*

*Hero drops gun and falls to the ground*

*I kick gun away*

Now what happens? Do I let you go? No. You didn't give me the chance.

*I place my boot on the hero's throat*

You misguided fool. It's time to answer to your sins.

*I point my gun at the hero's face*

How did you think this would end?

*bang*

 

[Omegatronacles]

Them: This is the end Galeganto!

Me: I'm Galeginto, Galeganto's place is next door.

Them: Oooooooh...

Me: *Looks into the hallway* Did you kill all those guards? They cost fifty pence each, you know!

Cookie for reference.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Now give me my cookie!

*nom nom nom*

OT:

"Congratulations on making it here. I trust you enjoyed your detour through the sewerage works. I thought it was quite clever to re-label the map so that the control centre wasn't labelled as such.

Although I am a bit miffed that you killed the mutant hive mind that lived there. It was just one day from retirement and you had to come along and dissolve it to its component atoms. I thought that was just plain rude.

I was highly amused by your futile attempts to locate the plans to my death ray. Starting up that rumour that I had hid the plans in the Fortress of Doom past the River of Sorrows guarded by the Dragon of Eternity were well worth the effort. If you really want to know the plans are in my safety deposit box. Don't you look like quite the fool now?

In hindsight I suppose that after you defeated my weakest troops, I should have just sent my elite forces after you right then, rather than a gradual build up in troop strength. I should also have taught my troops to attack more than one at a time. They may have been able to beat you had I done this. Oh well, you live and learn.

Of course it's my fault that you made it this far anyway. After I destroyed your home and murdered your family, I really should have killed you myself instead of leaving the job to Barry. I have since been reliably informed that Barry is actually a moron, and that he failed to complete even so simple a task as killing a toddler. This is of course proven by you standing here before me. Co-incidentally, do you like the rug you're standing on? It's one of a kind. Made out of 100% Barry skin.

I'm sorry, what was that? You'd like me to listen to you? Why would I want to do that?

Oh, right, you want to ask about my doomsday plot and how to stop it. It's far to late for that. I launched the Supreme Invasive Discombobulator Explosive Space Energy Modulator right after I heard you had arrived at my front door.

A reversal mechanism? Sorry, there was one, but I designed the SIDESEM to melt it down and produce these commemorative medalions once activated. Do you want one? They're quite rare you know?

Weak points? Oh, well there was one small exhaust point that a competent pilot could have shot a small torpedo into that would have destroyed the entire thing. But then I shot the designer and installed an awning over it. What kind of moron builds a doomsday weapon with a blatant weak spot on it? It's so hard to get good help these days.

Any way to stop it? No, of course not, silly boy. That would entirely defeat the purpose. This is real life, not some silly movie where the hero comes to save the day and everyone lives happily ever after. You can't even say that you got the girl, because she died while trying to crawl through the air vents.

You did realise that the air vents are not able to be navigated by anyone larger than a 5 year old child, right? No, I don't care if the last evil mastermind you defeated had airvents large enough to drive a car in, mine are not like that.

Well this has been a lot of fun, hasn't it. Unfortunately I have to go, and you have to die. Of course, if you'd been paying attention you would have noticed that I'm not actually here. This is a hologram.

I skipped out right after activating the SIDESEM. You know, I'm really not happy with that name. SIDESEM. It doesn't really roll off the tongue. I'll have to put more thought into it the next time I develop a doomsday weapon? Sorry? Oh, right, your impending death. Seems I got sidetracked.

Yes, I'm not really here, this is a hologram, and the citadel reactors will go critical in 30 seconds. I win, you lose. Bye bye now. If you can say hi to Barry in the afterlife for me, that'd be much appreciated."

 

[TheGameXXVII]

me: alosersayswhat...

Hero: what?

me: AHA!

EDIT:

even better:

Well! Off to visit your mother!

 

[Ben Legend]

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Just when I thought the world could move on from this. But congratulations on finding a new way to Rick Roll us all.

 

[That's Funny]

Now is the winter of our discontent, and I hate to break to you but your princess is in another castle, sucker.

 

[oppp7]

"Why did I do it? How did I do it? Well, every second I waste is one more that the Device has to power up, so why not?

I was born long ago in a city called New Hampshire. Not the state, the city. I was a sickly child who was fond of..."

*Half an hour of annoying monolgue exposition later...*

"And that is why I won the special Olympics dressed as clown for the 3rd year in a row."

 

[silver wolf009]

My victims are rich or poor, young or old, strong or weak.
I've caused millions of accidents.
I am cancer in your bones.
I fathered the lie, twist what you say, speak of not the truth.
I am insedious, impartial, deep inside your chromosones.
I take what you love, and leave you in tears.
I imprison your sould, your hopes are my games, i strip you of pride, my promise is in vain.
While you burn at the stake i dance with the flames.
I bring poverty, sickness and death.
A worthless handshake, the slikest theif.
I steal your wealth, i awnser your prayers for greed and lust.
More than evil, i laugh at your trust.
I am more powerful than all the armies of the world!
I am more volient than volience!
More deadly than death!
I have destroyed more men than all the nations wars!
I am relentless, unpredictable, waiting for your last breath!






*cookie for refrence*

 

[Omegatronacles]

My victims are rich or poor, young or old, strong or weak.
I've caused millions of accidents.
I am cancer in your bones.
I fathered the lie, twist what you say, speak of not the truth.
I am insedious, impartial, deep inside your chromosones.
I take what you love, and leave you in tears.
I imprison your sould, your hopes are my games, i strip you of pride, my promise is in vain.
While you burn at the stake i dance with the flames.
I bring poverty, sickness and death.
A worthless handshake, the slikest theif.
I steal your wealth, i awnser your prayers for greed and lust.
More than evil, i laugh at your trust.
I am more powerful than all the armies of the world!
I am more volient than volience!
More deadly than death!
I have destroyed more men than all the nations wars!
I am relentless, unpredictable, waiting for your last breath!






*cookie for refrence*

Megadeth - Prince of Darkness?

I hope so, cause I'm starting a cookie collection.
I think it's Megadeth. I could be wrong though.
Am I wrong? I suppose I could check Google.
But then that would be cheating.
I'm so tired to check anyway.
Screw it, do I get a cookie or not?

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

"To get to me, you have raised your blade to thousands of misguided individuals who, while clouded by my reasoning, have shed many a tear for a cause they believe to be for the best, in regards their loved ones, humanity, even the world. You, single-handedly, have killed more than I could ever imagine, all in the name of revenge. You've brought your insatiable hunger with you, into my halls, in the persuit of ending a single life. Now, because of you, hundreds upon hundreds will mourn the untimely losses of their family, lovers, even children. With the single thought of my demise coursing through your mind, your lust for blood knows no bounds. Was my one wrong worth the thousands of atrocities you have committed over the past week? They say two wrongs don't make a right, I guess you decided to play around with that formula. You are living proof that the greatest of men can fall. You claim that I am the monster, even if that were so, does that justify what you have done? I wonder, were you blinded by the blood you have spilled? Besides, I disagree with your statement. I am the Doctor, and I have given you life. You are my monster. You have abandoned your son, leaving him to fend for himself, seeking to plunge your blade through this very heart."

*Points gently to chest*

"That boy needed a father. You are certainly undeserving of that title. Look at you! Do you think his embrace will still be so welcoming? If you are still driven by your murderous motivation, slay me. It matters not whether I live or die, I have had my victory. I have turned the world's last White Knight, into a harbinger of doubt and darkness. I am the propagator of your truth. My chest awaits your cold steel. I am at your will. I have had my victory, we shall both die this day, there are no alternatives. Draw your sword, this battle was predetermined. The ghosts of our past shall decide who finds their grave first. May our deaths be painless and swift."

*Honourable bow*

 

[silver wolf009]

My victims are rich or poor, young or old, strong or weak.
I've caused millions of accidents.
I am cancer in your bones.
I fathered the lie, twist what you say, speak of not the truth.
I am insedious, impartial, deep inside your chromosones.
I take what you love, and leave you in tears.
I imprison your sould, your hopes are my games, i strip you of pride, my promise is in vain.
While you burn at the stake i dance with the flames.
I bring poverty, sickness and death.
A worthless handshake, the slikest theif.
I steal your wealth, i awnser your prayers for greed and lust.
More than evil, i laugh at your trust.
I am more powerful than all the armies of the world!
I am more volient than volience!
More deadly than death!
I have destroyed more men than all the nations wars!
I am relentless, unpredictable, waiting for your last breath!






*cookie for refrence*

Megadeth - Prince of Darkness?

I hope so, cause I'm starting a cookie collection.
I think it's Megadeth. I could be wrong though.
Am I wrong? I suppose I could check Google.
But then that would be cheating.
I'm so tired to check anyway.
Screw it, do I get a cookie or not?

you lget a big cookie!