Yay cookie! *nom nom nom nom nom*silver wolf009 said:
Oh no! My cookie collection is back to zero again! Damn cookies, why do you have to be so tasty?
Your Villianous Monlogue!
- Thread starter mrhappyface
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Oh no! My cookie collection is back to zero again! Damn cookies, why do you have to be so tasty?
*sigh* I told that ***** of a wife it was a bad idea to try to rule the world. "Oh, you'll do so well," she says. "Oh, no one will want to defeat you," she says. *turns to hero*
But look who we have here. I have brought this land into prosperity, ushered in full employment, created a universally high quality of life, and reigned with a just hand like no other nation has ever seen. And when I seek to bring this to the rest of the world, a fool like you comes to defeat me. You are a tool of your masters, a slave, and they know it, sending you here with your propaganda-filled mind.
Did you not see how every inch of my empire looked as you marched in? My people were taken care of and happy, but you brought the armies of evil, manipulative men to destroy my nation and any hopes I had for bringing this kind of... life, to every person in the world. My people have freedom, because my only concern was their welfare. See this palace? No useless pieces of art or treasure are in my halls, nothing overly fancy is used in here. What I have that is nice, was personally given to me by my citizens. *walks over to balcony*
These people love me. *looks over at hero* I never wanted to rule, but I did my best while I could. I walked among my people, spent time with them, shared meals with them, and worked alongside them. I thought all people deserved such a benevolent ruler, so I tried to take over the world to bring this happiness to all. Your selfish rulers wouldn't allow it, so they told you about all the evils I'd committed, and how it was all fake. Did it look fake as you marched in, as you lived among the people to find ways to get close to me?
I bet you thought it was too good to be true, didn't you? If you want to test a man's character, give him power. I have held it responsibly, a tool for my soul to use to better the world. But you have acted as a slave, following the desires of your masters even if it took you to the grave. *points at self* A man chooses, *points at hero* but a slave obeys. Today, I will make you a man.
You have three options, hero. One, you can leave, and let me rebuild. I will not expand my borders, but leave the rest of the world alone. You have my word on this. *looks out at city* Two, you can kill me, bring the rest of your army in, and take over my country, which wouldn't be difficult in theory. In practice, all of my people possess weapons in their households and would quickly find out about my death. I doubt they would take kindly to that news.
Three, you let me go and hand my nation to your masters. I will become a free agent, traveling the world and administering justice as I see fit. You will likely never see me again, but I will still be out making the world better. Now, *lights cigar* the choice is yours, hero. Today, you become a man, and decide the fate of an entire nation in one moment.
But look who we have here. I have brought this land into prosperity, ushered in full employment, created a universally high quality of life, and reigned with a just hand like no other nation has ever seen. And when I seek to bring this to the rest of the world, a fool like you comes to defeat me. You are a tool of your masters, a slave, and they know it, sending you here with your propaganda-filled mind.
Did you not see how every inch of my empire looked as you marched in? My people were taken care of and happy, but you brought the armies of evil, manipulative men to destroy my nation and any hopes I had for bringing this kind of... life, to every person in the world. My people have freedom, because my only concern was their welfare. See this palace? No useless pieces of art or treasure are in my halls, nothing overly fancy is used in here. What I have that is nice, was personally given to me by my citizens. *walks over to balcony*
These people love me. *looks over at hero* I never wanted to rule, but I did my best while I could. I walked among my people, spent time with them, shared meals with them, and worked alongside them. I thought all people deserved such a benevolent ruler, so I tried to take over the world to bring this happiness to all. Your selfish rulers wouldn't allow it, so they told you about all the evils I'd committed, and how it was all fake. Did it look fake as you marched in, as you lived among the people to find ways to get close to me?
I bet you thought it was too good to be true, didn't you? If you want to test a man's character, give him power. I have held it responsibly, a tool for my soul to use to better the world. But you have acted as a slave, following the desires of your masters even if it took you to the grave. *points at self* A man chooses, *points at hero* but a slave obeys. Today, I will make you a man.
You have three options, hero. One, you can leave, and let me rebuild. I will not expand my borders, but leave the rest of the world alone. You have my word on this. *looks out at city* Two, you can kill me, bring the rest of your army in, and take over my country, which wouldn't be difficult in theory. In practice, all of my people possess weapons in their households and would quickly find out about my death. I doubt they would take kindly to that news.
Three, you let me go and hand my nation to your masters. I will become a free agent, traveling the world and administering justice as I see fit. You will likely never see me again, but I will still be out making the world better. Now, *lights cigar* the choice is yours, hero. Today, you become a man, and decide the fate of an entire nation in one moment.
Welcome.
I must say I'm impressed. You cut through everything I could throw at you, everything I could muster. I haven't seen such a display since my friends and I overthrew the last regime, in fact.
...You didn't know, did you? You were never told the name of the hero who struck back against oppression all those years ago - the one man who faced corrupt authority and said "no". The man who united the rebels, the dissidents and the naysayers, until he had an entire country, an entire civilisation following his lead. Driven by the best of intentions, supported and lauded by the common folk, never relenting until your purpose is fulfilled. Does that sound familiar?
My name is no longer associated with those stories. I believe the reason for this was to diminish my humanity in the perception of the people, so that when a hero finally appeared - as you have done - their resolve would stay strong.
You've lost someone, haven't you? Someone important to you? Was this person cut down without mercy or reason, simply for doing the right thing? Was their death the spark that lit your flame, firmly imprinting the two words - "no more" - that have driven you down this path? Tell me, what happened?
[...]
I'm so sorry.
My motivation was similar to yours, once upon a time. I shan't bore you with the details, since I'd likely be recounting almost word-for-word your own adventures, and I see your sword-arm becoming impatient. You shall have your opportunity to exact justice upon me soon enough, don't worry.
Watching your exploits was a rather nostalgic experience. It forced me to take a long, hard look in the mirror, to re-examine myself. I saw in myself the echoes of those against whom I had once taken arms. In my eyes I saw the same gleam I once beheld before my sword snuffed it out. In short, I have become that which I strove to eradicate, and I despise myself for it - my actions are no longer true to the ideals I once held. I am no longer doing honour to her.
Why do you think I allowed you to get as far as you have? Your strategies are almost the same as my own - identical, in the case of the unpleasantness at the Azure Canyon - and I could have easily wiped out your insurrection, had I chosen to. I wanted you to reach me here, the place where my final battle occurred, a lifetime ago. My blood has been spilled here before, and soon will be again. You are in the right, and I am in the wrong.
And so we come to the end of this war. Here we will duel, you and I, with our nation at stake.
If you defeat me, I ask that you do not try to take me alive. Allow me to die as myself, and do not make the mistakes I made. Never lose sight of who you are, as I have done.
If I defeat you, I swear on my life - no, on her soul, that I will not carry on as I have. I will honour you by ruling benevolently and well. I will never allow corruption to take hold and compromise my integrity again.
Now... allow me to regain myself! Attack me!
I must say I'm impressed. You cut through everything I could throw at you, everything I could muster. I haven't seen such a display since my friends and I overthrew the last regime, in fact.
...You didn't know, did you? You were never told the name of the hero who struck back against oppression all those years ago - the one man who faced corrupt authority and said "no". The man who united the rebels, the dissidents and the naysayers, until he had an entire country, an entire civilisation following his lead. Driven by the best of intentions, supported and lauded by the common folk, never relenting until your purpose is fulfilled. Does that sound familiar?
My name is no longer associated with those stories. I believe the reason for this was to diminish my humanity in the perception of the people, so that when a hero finally appeared - as you have done - their resolve would stay strong.
You've lost someone, haven't you? Someone important to you? Was this person cut down without mercy or reason, simply for doing the right thing? Was their death the spark that lit your flame, firmly imprinting the two words - "no more" - that have driven you down this path? Tell me, what happened?
[...]
I'm so sorry.
My motivation was similar to yours, once upon a time. I shan't bore you with the details, since I'd likely be recounting almost word-for-word your own adventures, and I see your sword-arm becoming impatient. You shall have your opportunity to exact justice upon me soon enough, don't worry.
Watching your exploits was a rather nostalgic experience. It forced me to take a long, hard look in the mirror, to re-examine myself. I saw in myself the echoes of those against whom I had once taken arms. In my eyes I saw the same gleam I once beheld before my sword snuffed it out. In short, I have become that which I strove to eradicate, and I despise myself for it - my actions are no longer true to the ideals I once held. I am no longer doing honour to her.
Why do you think I allowed you to get as far as you have? Your strategies are almost the same as my own - identical, in the case of the unpleasantness at the Azure Canyon - and I could have easily wiped out your insurrection, had I chosen to. I wanted you to reach me here, the place where my final battle occurred, a lifetime ago. My blood has been spilled here before, and soon will be again. You are in the right, and I am in the wrong.
And so we come to the end of this war. Here we will duel, you and I, with our nation at stake.
If you defeat me, I ask that you do not try to take me alive. Allow me to die as myself, and do not make the mistakes I made. Never lose sight of who you are, as I have done.
If I defeat you, I swear on my life - no, on her soul, that I will not carry on as I have. I will honour you by ruling benevolently and well. I will never allow corruption to take hold and compromise my integrity again.
Now... allow me to regain myself! Attack me!
Me: So you have come this far to kill me? Me, who has brought order to this once, crumbling nation? You feel that it is truth or justice that drives you to invade my city? Slaughter my people?
That Guy: You're a monster! Expecting me to believe your lies. You, who has caused countless exterminations to my people!
Me: Monster? Hmph. If I was a monster, you wouldn't know me and chaos would engulf this place.
That Guy: No. A better place would be here instead. And I will make sure that happens now!
Me: How? By killing me, you think this will solve anything? And those exterminations? They rebelled against my request to unify them into one single nation. They were planning to rise up against me and kill me just like you are now.
That Guy: Liar! You murdered them like a butcher that you are!
Me: You think I like killing people? A sadist? Enjoying the fact that I killed thousands? I ask you now, what would you do? Kill or be killed? The answer is obvoius isn't? However, if that still doesn't satisfy your mind then fine, I shall end your confused life.
That Guy: *Grips his sword tightly and sprints towards Me.
The outcome is unknown. You can decide.
That Guy: You're a monster! Expecting me to believe your lies. You, who has caused countless exterminations to my people!
Me: Monster? Hmph. If I was a monster, you wouldn't know me and chaos would engulf this place.
That Guy: No. A better place would be here instead. And I will make sure that happens now!
Me: How? By killing me, you think this will solve anything? And those exterminations? They rebelled against my request to unify them into one single nation. They were planning to rise up against me and kill me just like you are now.
That Guy: Liar! You murdered them like a butcher that you are!
Me: You think I like killing people? A sadist? Enjoying the fact that I killed thousands? I ask you now, what would you do? Kill or be killed? The answer is obvoius isn't? However, if that still doesn't satisfy your mind then fine, I shall end your confused life.
That Guy: *Grips his sword tightly and sprints towards Me.
The outcome is unknown. You can decide.
Dr Lecter
I know our expecting a monologue, but I'd rather just kill you. Afterall, what is the use in soliloquyizing what are often obvious cliches? Why say, "You thought you could destroy me! I am God and God cannot die," when you could simply kill the threat to your life and prove the point? Why reveal shocking truths for no reason other than revealing them? You don't need to know that I'm your father, or your aunty, or your pet dog skip from back home in Louisiana, where the trees grow tall and the nights are fragrant and steamy, alive with the hum of a million swamp bugs. Did you run from there, Clarice? Did you run all the way to the F.B.I to escape that interminable buzz? Clarice? Clarice? I shit, she got away again. I'm so bad at this, my dad was right I am a terrible criminal mastermind.
(Depressed, he eats a bar of chocolate and turns on Will and Grace)
I know our expecting a monologue, but I'd rather just kill you. Afterall, what is the use in soliloquyizing what are often obvious cliches? Why say, "You thought you could destroy me! I am God and God cannot die," when you could simply kill the threat to your life and prove the point? Why reveal shocking truths for no reason other than revealing them? You don't need to know that I'm your father, or your aunty, or your pet dog skip from back home in Louisiana, where the trees grow tall and the nights are fragrant and steamy, alive with the hum of a million swamp bugs. Did you run from there, Clarice? Did you run all the way to the F.B.I to escape that interminable buzz? Clarice? Clarice? I shit, she got away again. I'm so bad at this, my dad was right I am a terrible criminal mastermind.
(Depressed, he eats a bar of chocolate and turns on Will and Grace)
"Huh? Why are you here? It's nice to see you in person, but you already undermined my influence so I thought you'd be leaving at this point.
...
Care for some wine? I have some cake left too."
...
Care for some wine? I have some cake left too."
I would do really cocky actions to ensure I am the smarter one, like plucking grapes off in my mouth while holding a sword in hand. In between chewing fruit and chewing fat, I stand out on the balcony window, looking at my massive army of automotons, following a cause they have only heard me preach thousands of times, I turn around in my gigantic black cape with red lining, wearing a kind of cloth that they (The hero and his friends in his party, ala RPG Style) have never seen me in before. I speak:
Heroes! You have chosen the right castle, but it is too late to help your cause!
The Dragon god I have said time and again that would come to cause your destruction will soon come. An army to put all armies to shame! The biggest army in the world from one of the strongest kingdoms of all time, to put shame to Spartans, to Romans, to every group in the world... Vanquished! Defeated. Gone. My family has become victorious. O, Mighty Dragon, come forth, and send our enemies to oblivion!
[FMV Cinematic of a dragon climbing out of a volcano, ground shakes, the dragon blows fire on everybody, regardless of following of good or evil]
...And still you attempt to fight me. I am immortal! You have fought me for fortnights, and nothing stops me! Do you expect to fall any easily? Hah! Come, to battle for one last time. Give me the fight of all fights, make me feel as I did 70 years ago! May vestri visio vestri nex! Venatus Super!* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
*That Phrase is in latin. Go and translate it, it's kind of fun to do.
Heroes! You have chosen the right castle, but it is too late to help your cause!
The Dragon god I have said time and again that would come to cause your destruction will soon come. An army to put all armies to shame! The biggest army in the world from one of the strongest kingdoms of all time, to put shame to Spartans, to Romans, to every group in the world... Vanquished! Defeated. Gone. My family has become victorious. O, Mighty Dragon, come forth, and send our enemies to oblivion!
[FMV Cinematic of a dragon climbing out of a volcano, ground shakes, the dragon blows fire on everybody, regardless of following of good or evil]
...And still you attempt to fight me. I am immortal! You have fought me for fortnights, and nothing stops me! Do you expect to fall any easily? Hah! Come, to battle for one last time. Give me the fight of all fights, make me feel as I did 70 years ago! May vestri visio vestri nex! Venatus Super!* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
*That Phrase is in latin. Go and translate it, it's kind of fun to do.
"Why, hello there. I suppose you expect me to beg for mercy, or maybe just try to defend my choices, but here's the thing: I remain proud of what I acheived. Did I have fun trying to kill you? Not as much as you might think. But what matters isn't the means to reach an end, but that end itself. I understand if you are mad at me. Hell, if only for the choices you had to make to get here, was I in your place and you in mine that I might be even more angry than you are. But alas, we both know how things played out and why: simply because they were meant to happen this way. But I digress.
I said I was proud of what I acheived. That is true. you see I'm a
and as such, I only followed my theological beliefs: To do what I can to reach my goal. What about you then? Have you accomplished the goals of YOUR religion? One of them says you must not kill, but here you have slaughtered many of my men to get to me. Or maybe you are part of the one that says that you must protect your brother. Although, as I recall, said brother was left to die, by your own hand, on your way here. Or are you an atheist? Well, then you don't have much of a rebuttal for my motivations do you? and if you believe in one form or another of higher power, would a 'higher power' let me go on in tyranny? Following this thought, you can assume that either 1) He doesn't exist 2) He doesn't care 3) He approves of my conduct.
well then, here is your chance to prove that your philosophical value is better than mine...
*Pulls out his sword*
En garde!
I said I was proud of what I acheived. That is true. you see I'm a
Satanist
well then, here is your chance to prove that your philosophical value is better than mine...
*Pulls out his sword*
En garde!
The hero walks in, sword drawn. I turn to him, then dash up to him and impale him with my sword. As he stands there, shocked, I say:
"What's the matter? Were you expecting some kind of life story and an explanation of my actions? Sorry to disappoint you. How's this? *Clears throat* I like watching things burn, and people bleed. Satisfied?"
"What's the matter? Were you expecting some kind of life story and an explanation of my actions? Sorry to disappoint you. How's this? *Clears throat* I like watching things burn, and people bleed. Satisfied?"
Well, seeing as the first thing I would do as a villain would be to set a bottomless pit at the foot of my door...
Me: "Have a nice trip? See you next fall!"
Then I would skip merrily away, laughing at my incredible wit.
Everyone (except the heroes, obviously) lived happily ever after.
Me: "Have a nice trip? See you next fall!"
Then I would skip merrily away, laughing at my incredible wit.
Everyone (except the heroes, obviously) lived happily ever after.
*Looks up nonchalantly from the book I'm reading*
Oh there you are. I was wondering when you would be done with my defences. You took an awfully long time to get here. I wasn't even sure if you knew where I was.
*Puts down book and gets up from throne*
I must say you have tried so hard to stop me. Raised an army of rebellous citizens to topple my rule. Sacrificed close friends so that you would have the chance to strike at me. Ordered a suicide mission just to give you the opening needed to slip in to my fortress. You've gambled so much on some forlorn hope that all your petty heroics would somehow stop my machinations. Well you're here. I must give you that. *Applauds the hero sarcasticly* But now what of the next part of your plan, hmm? Or did you not even think that through, because you didn't really believe you could make it. What did you believe would happen? Would you storm in, weapons raised, like you are so arrogantly doing right now? Threaten me in my own house, like there would be no consiquences? And even if suppose you did kill me, what then? Did you think that my army would simply give up? That no one would simply take my place and continue what I've started? No, that will not happen. I don't know how my pathetic "heroes stories" you've heard but the real world doesn't act quite that way. As you will soon learn.
*Laser sights begin to cover the hero as wall mounted turrets pop out and target them*
But I grow weary of you're foolish actions of "nobility" and "righteousness". I have more important things to do than entertain some misguided peasant. I do have an army to run and oh what a splendid army it is. Even now it's marching on your "hidden base" as we speak. You really shouldn't have sent your entire force here, what a pitiful mistake. Perhaps I will tell them to spare that one girl you like so much. She is such a fiesty one, I like to imagine she'll act the same way in bed with me. *Laughs diabolicly*
*Begin to turn away from hero, then turn my head back over my shoulder*
Oh and you didn't really think that I would even give you the chance to come close enough to hurt me did you?
*Hologram of me turns off as turrets begin to fire*
Oh there you are. I was wondering when you would be done with my defences. You took an awfully long time to get here. I wasn't even sure if you knew where I was.
*Puts down book and gets up from throne*
I must say you have tried so hard to stop me. Raised an army of rebellous citizens to topple my rule. Sacrificed close friends so that you would have the chance to strike at me. Ordered a suicide mission just to give you the opening needed to slip in to my fortress. You've gambled so much on some forlorn hope that all your petty heroics would somehow stop my machinations. Well you're here. I must give you that. *Applauds the hero sarcasticly* But now what of the next part of your plan, hmm? Or did you not even think that through, because you didn't really believe you could make it. What did you believe would happen? Would you storm in, weapons raised, like you are so arrogantly doing right now? Threaten me in my own house, like there would be no consiquences? And even if suppose you did kill me, what then? Did you think that my army would simply give up? That no one would simply take my place and continue what I've started? No, that will not happen. I don't know how my pathetic "heroes stories" you've heard but the real world doesn't act quite that way. As you will soon learn.
*Laser sights begin to cover the hero as wall mounted turrets pop out and target them*
But I grow weary of you're foolish actions of "nobility" and "righteousness". I have more important things to do than entertain some misguided peasant. I do have an army to run and oh what a splendid army it is. Even now it's marching on your "hidden base" as we speak. You really shouldn't have sent your entire force here, what a pitiful mistake. Perhaps I will tell them to spare that one girl you like so much. She is such a fiesty one, I like to imagine she'll act the same way in bed with me. *Laughs diabolicly*
*Begin to turn away from hero, then turn my head back over my shoulder*
Oh and you didn't really think that I would even give you the chance to come close enough to hurt me did you?
*Hologram of me turns off as turrets begin to fire*