You're a guy on a date. Who pays?

[somonels]

*Irrelevant*

Plus despite equality, women still like being treated.

And men don't. Oh, wait, they aren't being treated.

Have you ever been in a relationship where the woman pays for everything? Even once without compensation? I haven't.

No, but they exist. See #1. Ok.

These abusive, or even self-abusive, relationships exist. Voluntary actions are driven by will - meaning there is always some end that the mind wishes to achieve. That end may be to influence others to receive compensation from outside sources or an inner mental mechanism.

A bite-size chunk: There is always some sort of compensation, it does not have to make sense or seem logical, but there always is.

 

[Joepow]

50-50, unless it's a first date, in wich case it's usually expected for the initiator to pay
(although I don't believe he/she should be obliged to).

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

I got so pissed off that my girlfriend kept trying to pay for all out dates. But then I ran out of money so it was fitting

I believe in the rule that if you asked the date, you pay. If they asked you, they pay.

 

[ChaoticKraus]

The logical solution is that each person buys for what they bought. That way you bill won't be inflated if she bought lobster or something.

That's the way it works in Sweden atleast. Not only on dates but on all occasions where several persons do something that costs money together.

 

[Evidencebased]

...

I wasn't really thinking of the doors thing as a trade off for the whole payment thing. But then you probably already knew that. >.> Interesting thing about the peeing though, but you cannot deny that it's easier for men.
I don't buy the whole mentality thing though. Physical factors influence the brain and the brain influences the way we think. May I name PMSing as an gender-related example? I'm also perfectly willing to admit that women are, on average, better at parallel processing than men are.
Anyway, it's been nice sharing views with a feminist on this; and a feminist with a sense humour at that! Usually when I've talked to other feminists about the differences between men and women they tend to get really angry, really quickly. But I think it's good to discuss them, because then you can get closer to resolving gender issues, through mutual respect and understanding. ^.^

Mutual respect and understanding are great!

...Of course, there's also Wonderella's approach: http://nonadventures.com/2011/08/20/terror-dactyl/

 

[twaddle]

meay. i always end up paying. but right recently my gf was more happy with the visit to walmart than the actual exhibit we went to so i told her i'm not spending above $30 on a date for a while. I love the woman but damn, i'm a university student without a job so yeah.

 

[Odbarc]

No, but they exist. See #1. Ok.

**These abusive, or even self-abusive, relationships exist. Voluntary actions are driven by will - meaning there is always some end that the mind wishes to achieve. That end may be to influence others to receive compensation from outside sources or an inner mental mechanism.

*A bite-size chunk: There is always some sort of compensation, it does not have to make sense or seem logical, but there always is.

*If dating weren't rewarding, no one would do it.
**Everything is possible. No matter how messed up the conditions, it exists - yes. I recall a pair of girls with a cup.

 

[The Gnome King]

...what do you do when you're out on a date? what do you think SHOULD be done?

The "*****" always, always pays. Sometimes that's the guy, sometimes that's the girl.

Otherwise, unless you're in a serious relationship or doing a "hey I'll get lunch this time, you get it next time" - go dutch.

Women don't need their meals paid for by men in this day and age. There are more employed women in the US and in college than men right now, FYI.

Paying for a woman's meals and trying too hard is a sure way to get booted into "friend" status from "potential alpha male-boyfriend-lover" status.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I would offer to pay on a date. Who wouldn't? It makes you look like a nicer person. You would look like a proper douche if you expected the other person to pay. Nowadays when I go out with my fiancée we split the bill, because that seems fairer.

 

[viking97]

if i had the cash, sure. it's a polite-ness thing, i think. i'd still want to pay if my date was with a guy (straight male, btw)

 

[Knight Captain Kerr]

Each person pays for what they themselves bought.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

Both contribute to it. If you go to the movies, one pays the tickets, the other the snacks for example. that evens out most of the time.
On some occasions you can if you like pay for all of it. But its neither expected from you nor should it be done all the time. I dont bribe or pay my dates for acompanying me.
I may purchase some drinks if i feel like it. But here we dont have that strange ritual of men buying their dates or women only interested in money.

 

[Custard_Angel]

I do.

Always.

Regardless.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I'd go 50/50 unless the person on the date is low on money, then I'll pay for it. But it would be me asking if it's okay if I payed before we went to whatever place.

 

[RobCoxxy]

If the date goes well, I pay.
Last time, however, she simply went on about her ex and her dead cat, a proper depressing date to say the least; so I paid for my meal only. And for some reason she found that weird and complained to everyone about it afterwards.

Ppph. Women.

By the way. I had Chicken Pie and it was fucking delicious.

 

[GigaHz]

Situational.

I've covered everything but sometimes they volunteer to cover 50%.

My rule of thumb is expect to pay for everything unless she is the one to suggest covering half. I would NEVER suggest for them to cover half just because I'd think I would come off as cheap. Just because more and more women are working hard for their dollars doesn't mean that they have to split on everything. It's supposed to be a treat after all.

Also, it has worked in my favour post-breakup. Usually stands out on her list of confessions for things I did right. Women still appreciate it folks.

 

[Commissar Sae]

My Girlfriend and I usually split things 50/50, ever so often I'll pay for everything but thats usually just when we go for ice cream or something.

 

[ThreeWords]

I follow the Gentleman's code, but things can get confused when your date is also a gentleman. There are no hard and fast rules, and I let things happen as they occur. Usually, I'm happy to cover the costs, but equally pleased to let my partner cover their half.

 

[Hides His Eyes]

A friend of mine said his mum gave him a piece of advice which I think is perfect: never go out with a girl who is unwilling to pay for her half. Which is not to say that you *should* always pay for her.