You're on the front page news, what did you do to be on it?

[Jabberwock xeno]

[HEADING=2]Teenage savant publishes book, criticizes entire planet to make a point. [/HEADING]

 

[Sarah Kerrigan]

[HEADING=2]Girl kills ex boyfriend with guitar hero controller[/HEADING]

I can see myself doing that

You're gonna kill Jim Raynor with a Guitar Hero controller?! Good luck with that!

Thanks! I need all the luck I can get!

 

[Knusper]

[HEADING=1] Local man makes awesome sandwich. omnomnomnom. [/HEADING]

 

[_Cake_]

Either artwork or dying.

 

[Communist partisan]

[HEADING=2]Local Man Kills Gang Of Hipsters. Given Award.[/HEADING]

God I hate hipsters...

If you'll do that someday contact me first and you can have the chainsaw if I can have the baseball bat, aye?

 

[Mr.Gompers]

Local Man takes over world: All Hail Our Glorious Overlord!

 

[interspark]

[HEADING=2]Student prevents alien plot to eliminate all of mankind, using only a paperclip and 3

kittens[/HEADING]

yeah, this is pretty likely to happen, to be honest i'm not sure if i could do it without a tablespoon but i'd give it a go

OR..

[HEADING=2]Local Student Discovers Solution to World Peace, Hunger and Pollution, But Won't Tell

Anyone Until the Entire Population of Amrerica Dresses Entirely in Pink and Sings "I'm a

Little Teapot" (With Actions)[/HEADING]

bit of a mouthful, i know

 

[interspark]

Local man defeats alien invasion using unicycle tricks.

damn! ninja'd! (mine was funnier )

 

[neoontime]

[HEADING=2]Local Man Says If You Read This You Die.......Oh Shi-[/HEADING]

 

[brunt32]

[HEADING=2]Man from the South gave it some mouth, and won the rights of video games to be consider an art type.[/HEADING]

 

[Viking Incognito]

[HEADING=2]Local boy tames polar bear and uses it as transportation![/HEADING]

 

[ProtoChimp]

[HEADING=2]Teenage boy awarded Nobel prize for assassinating entire cast of The only way is Essex and Jersey Shore. [/HEADING]

 

[WanderingFool]

[HEADING=2]Teenage savant publishes book, criticizes entire planet to make a point. [/HEADING]

But unfortunately, it fades into obscurity as it wasn't endorsed by either Oprah or Commander Shepard.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

[HEADING=2]Nameless Shmoe ends up on front pages, somehow[/HEADING]
and
[HEADING=2]Dashingly Heroic Man volunteers on front pages[/HEADING]

 

[TAGM]

[HEADING=2]Musican Finally loses it, kills 30 newsmen + 25 talent scouts.[/HEADING]

... I had a bad run in with my local paper... It didn't work out well. That was how it should end.
... Maybe.

 

[The Rookie Gamer]

[HEADING=2]Local Teenager declared legally dead while playing Halo: Reach, only to reanimate 2 years later and declaring "I reached the final rank!"[/HEADING]

This will totally be me.

 

[Jinjiro]

[HEADING=1]MAN VS NATURE - The boy found strangling a koala tells all![/HEADING]

 

[Dapsen]

[HEADING=2]Local Boy In The Process Of Eating Own Body![/HEADING]

This would be me.

 

[Mr.PlanetEater]

Man giving 50 years in jail for running through Buckingham Palace naked wearing swimming goggles and flippers shouting "I've got Super Powers!"

 

[LightningBanks]

Lone survivor stands tall over zombie apocalpse inquaratined city