You're starting a Church! Make up some humorous commandments!

[UltraDeth]

10. Gay marriage should be a sign of freedom
9. Boobs should be the symbol of world peace (I probably wouldn't do that of course)
8. Always flush a floater
7. Thou shalt not waste food
6. Free virginity loss for new members
5. Free healthcare for all the world
4. Thou shalt not argue over tastes
3. Free DLC
2. Free internet pornography
1. No douchbaggery

 

[Fetzenfisch]

Dogmatic non-changing commandments in the name of change are heresy and you shalt be tortured till the end of eons by the screaming horrors of the warp.

Till then i shalt honour the precious pleasures of slaanesh

Huh. That's what you think. By having non-changing commandments, Tzeentch is doing something new. He's changing his MO. Of course, this is the only time that it'll happen, as he'd have to do it different the next time but I hold that my Tzeentchian religion is totally legit.

You just started a holy war my friend. Prepare to be given true believe and democracy by sword and demonfire!

Oh, so that's how it is, eh? Well, how are you going to hurt me if I'm a constantly changing demon prince who secretly plays Eldar in Dawn of War 2?

Well i guess i quote Buffy the Vampire Slayer here.
"Well i guess i try violence again"

 

[Mr. Socky]

Dogmatic non-changing commandments in the name of change are heresy and you shalt be tortured till the end of eons by the screaming horrors of the warp.

Till then i shalt honour the precious pleasures of slaanesh

Huh. That's what you think. By having non-changing commandments, Tzeentch is doing something new. He's changing his MO. Of course, this is the only time that it'll happen, as he'd have to do it different the next time but I hold that my Tzeentchian religion is totally legit.

You just started a holy war my friend. Prepare to be given true believe and democracy by sword and demonfire!

Oh, so that's how it is, eh? Well, how are you going to hurt me if I'm a constantly changing demon prince who secretly plays Eldar in Dawn of War 2?

Well i guess i quote Buffy the Vampire Slayer here.
"Well i guess i try violence again"

Ah, crap. I was hoping you wouldn't think of that. Well, eat shuriken cannon fire from my primary faction while I continue to behave like I'm a demon of the warp who can eat your soul, please.

 

[Zantos]

All of these commandments please.

The moment i saw the thread title i thought of this. Love it!

 

[Palademon]

Thou shalt not stagnate the gaming industry.
Thou shalt take a potato chip and EAT IT!
Thou shalt steer when using cruise control for cool.

 

[Hussmann54]

1.Thou shalt: give courtesy flushes when nessicary. (trust me, we even have to regulate this in heaven)
2.abide by all man laws
3.thou shalt honor the actions of a wingman with wingman services of equal quality at another time
4.no spilling alcohol in the name of humor. this is unholy in the eye of God
5.children under 18 may not play on XBOX Live (even God is tired of getting cussed out when he beats somebody at Halo, are we really that immature?)
6.The only beer that may be consumed must not be Budwiser, Bush major labels etc instead appreciate smaller micro-breweries who honestly make better beer.

How about the children have to take an immaturity test before going on Xbox Live. I'm not eighteen and you wouldn't even know it if you were playing with me, I'm not one of those swearing, angsty kids.

An amendment has been made to No. 5!.... (pretty much what he said...)

BTW I read the one you posted about Tom Cruise... LOVE IT!..... same can be said of most of them actually......... we need to join forces!

 

[Cosplay Horatio]

The Five Pillars of Gaming;

1. Faith or belief in the oneness of Video Games and its prophets who develop them.

2. Establishment of daily gaming.

3. Concern for and game giving to the needy.

4. Self-purification through abstaining from buying games for at least a month.

5. The pilgrimage to Tokyo Game Show for those who are able.

 

[Deverfro]

On the 73rd Sunday, every 4th and a half years, you must spend the day in a onesie *serious face*

XD

 

[RatRace123]

I.Thou shalt not be a dick to thy neighbor
II.Seriously... thou shalt not
III.I'm really freakin' serious on this one.
IV.Thou shalt love his holiness, just in a platonic sense.
V.Thou shalt not eat the last of the leftover pasta in the fridge... that is my pasta! And if you eat it you're breaking the first commandment.
VI.Thou shall once in a while find a hot chick and bring them before your prophet(me), and bring her hot sister too, if she has one.
VII.Thou shalt enjoy MTV ironically, if you legitimately find this crap amusing your going to hell.
VIII.Hell is now Jersey Shore.
IX.If an animal is delicious, then it can be eaten, denieth yourself not the pleasure.
X.Obey the first commandment... seriously guys.

 

[Lexodus]

thou shalt pimp all thy days as Barney of HIMYM. (how i met your mother)
thou shalt suit up to accomplish these tasks.
thou shalt be legendary in all things.
high-fives are necessary as well.

i just need my suit dry-cleaned..

You loveable bastard, you suited in an unmistakably upward fashion!

 

[astrav1]

Thou shalt not cut the cucumber lengthwise.

 

[Lyx]

1. You shall reject all commandments except of the first, unless you disagree with the first commandment.

2. All questions ultimatelly lead either to stupidity or more tea.

3. Do not play lalaland and metaprogram.

4. Simple is difficulty turned easy. Complicated is ease turned difficult. Human is inverted reason.

5. Those who seek noise will find silence. Those who seek silence will find signal.

6. Do not trust those freaky doomsday predictions. Use this simple highly scientific formula instead:
__Population * Stupidity * Techlevel = Errors/minute

7. The cake is in your face.

 

[moose_man]

Though shalt GO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTERRRDS!
*paranoid glare*

I.Thou shalt not be a dick to thy neighbor
II.Seriously... thou shalt not
III.I'm really freakin' serious on this one.
IV.Thou shalt love his holiness, just in a platonic sense.
V.Thou shalt not eat the last of the leftover pasta in the fridge... that is my pasta! And if you eat it you're breaking the first commandment.
VI.Thou shall once in a while find a hot chick and bring them before your prophet(me), and bring her hot sister too, if she has one.
VII.Thou shalt enjoy MTV ironically, if you legitimately find this crap amusing your going to hell.
VIII.Hell is now Jersey Shore.
IX.If an animal is delicious, then it can be eaten, denieth yourself not the pleasure.
X.Obey the first commandment... seriously guys.

If hell is now jersey shore and you go to hell for LIKING jersey shore, how is it hell?

 

[Mythandariel]

Thou shalt not fart in a crowded elevator.

Thou shalt not be a ****.

Thou shalt not from this day forth buy anything with the words Final Fantasy on the box.

Thou shalt not miss an episode of Zero Punctuation.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

1. Thou shall not be a dick to others, UNLESS they REALLY deserve it.

2. Thou shall stop worrying too much over appearances and stop starving yourselves/overexercising. Seriously, it's disturbing.

3. Thou shall STOP obsessing over tweenie pop and bring cartoons back to children's tv channels.

4. Thou shall not show too much mindless TV... unless it is fairly interesting.

5. And finally, thou shall not follow the word of God mindlessly, it's getting old.

...Yeah, that's all I got.

 

[DTWolfwood]

All of these commandments please.

I can get with

"Thou shalt spell Phoenix "Pheonix" and not Phoenix and i don't care what the oxford dictionary says" XD

 

[Zantos]

All of these commandments please.

I can get with

"Thou shalt spell Phoenix "Pheonix" and not Phoenix and i don't care what the oxford dictionary says" XD

This might sound stupid (since it's probably obvious) or lazy (since i could have probably searched for the answer), but what is the phoenix thing in reference to?

 

[Sixties Spidey]

Thou shalt have pancake mix!

 

[DTWolfwood]

This might sound stupid (since it's probably obvious) or lazy (since i could have probably searched for the answer), but what is the phoenix thing in reference to?

i hope there is no actual significance to that except for the fact its pronounced fee-niks and spelled Phoe nix instead of Phe onix