You've Created A Nation, Now To Declare War!

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kickassfrog

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redisforever said:
Quaxar said:
Dear Vatican, come at me, bro.

You'd just need something that has a longer range than a halberd. Works even better if you first manage to first release a swarm of locusts and make it rain blood from the skies.
No, no, the Swiss Guard and the Vatican police force both have guns. Lots of them. You'll need a more effective strategy than simple range.
how about hanging out at high altitude and dropping things?
 

Goofguy

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Nov 25, 2010
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I'd probably go for the Vatican City, see if the Swiss Guard is all that it is cracked up to be.

EDIT: Well damn, I guess someone else beat me to the punch. That'll learn me for not reading page 2 of this thread.
 

Hero in a half shell

It's not easy being green
Dec 30, 2009
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I'll invade Egypt, since as I understand it the Arab Spring just meant that they deposed their dictator and he was immediately replaced by the military elite.
We would attack by using a few dozen small elite squads of special forces soldiers to infiltrate the homes and compounds that the military leaders and high command are in, and in one night capture them all and airlift them to my floating kingdom as hostages, until they sign over their country to me.
Then I'd take the title "Pharaoh" cause that would be ace, and become the most popular leader ever by pumping tonnes of money into public infrastructure and stuff.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

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Jul 15, 2008
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I shall go around the world and claim all disputed territories as mine. My reasoning being that if they can't share then I'm taking it off them, or at least that is what I'll tell the UN, it's not like I'm using them as staging areas to launch a simultaneous world wide invasion >.>
 

Jynthor

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Mar 30, 2012
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Wait, I have enough money to fund a flying nation?
I wouldn't care about power at all, I'd just build a big ass castle and go live in it. Complete with gaming rooms.
 

FolkLikePanda

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Pandalisk said:
FolkLikePanda said:
The Confederate Democratic Socialist Kingdom of Jevansia (known as The Glorious Nation within) declares War upon:

- Republic of Kyrgyzstan (Cool name though I want to change it and apparently the government isn't too nice there)
- Kingdom of England (And just England so I conquer and annex the old Kingdom of Mercia)
- All Principalities (for shits and giggles and make me feel big)
- Disneyland (And give it independence after 1 month so it can be its country and be represented at the United Nations)
- Democratic People's Republic of Korea/North Korea (hurry up and collapse already!)
- Aerican Empire (look it up)
- Principality of Sealand (As stated before under the Declaration of War against all Principalities but I just wanted to make a note of it)
- Planet of Mars (fuck Marvin trying to blow our planet up)
- Tonga (I want a nice tropical island)
You're post gave me hours of wiki-ing fun, thank you!.

I, Lord of Galicia here-by claim the lands of Portugal as my own and hear-by declare war on all nations for the independence of and re-reinstatement of the following countries, organisations and Dynasties.

Riga, The free city of Danzig, Leon, Castille, Aragon, Sicily, Andalucia, the Teutonic Knights, the Hapsburg Dynasty, The Jagiellon Dynasty, Norththumberland, Cornwall, Byzantium, The Crimean khanate, Pskov, Novgorod, Tver, Burgundy and some others i am sure.
Did we mention we desire Cornwall?
 

solemnwar

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Sep 19, 2010
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Steppin Razor said:
Canada.

No real strategy unless reducing it to a barren, smouldering wasteland from dropping nuke after nuke on it counts as a strategy.
Aw, we're already a barren wasteland =( Although it's more of a frozen one than a smouldering one, I suppose... probably just get people thanking your for the heat, ha.


OT: Uh. America. Because. IDK. I think I'd be more of an isolationist.
 

Jolly Co-operator

A Heavy Sword
Mar 10, 2012
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Broadcast a message to any given nation, telling them that they're smelly. They'll be angry enough to fight, AND their morale will be severely crippled. Rinse and repeat until world domination is achieved.
 

Arif_Sohaib

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Jan 16, 2011
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To stop them trying to think of themselves as the authority for how everyone else should run their own countries without even bothering to understand the conditions of those countries and the people of those countries, I would invade the US.
I would be tempted to do a Red Alert 2 style attack but first I would build a strong economy(at which point the US would probably start going crazy and start accusing me of several bad practices and try to contain my country like they are trying with China) I would then acquire allies and tell every other country to air their grievances against the US to my country and give them replacements for Intel, Google , Microsoft and others(which my country would have been preparing and testing locally beforehand) and reduce reliance on American technology, American politicians would continue blaming me for all their problems and I would spread fake news of my country building various WMDs giving the US an excuse to attack, but before this time my spies would be busy gathering intel on the US offensive capabilities and my scientists would prepare defenses against those very weapons so when they do attack they would be in for a surprise. A successful defense would boost the confidence of my allies and we would plan retaliation and this time we would combine our forces and do the Red Alert 2 thing.
But after teaching the American politicians a lesson on how to treat every country with respect and what it feels like to be on the other side of a invasion and neutralizing the threat the US army could pose to any other country and exposing all American wrong doings in the Cold War and the modern day wars to the US public and the rest of the world, I would have my army leave and urge my allies to leave.

Most of this is said in jest but my anger against the Salala incident and what Raymod Davis did is real. Due to the American war, the terrorists have targeted my country and today on Eid day mobile phone service was blocked in major cities due to a terror threat(just imagine having that condition on New Years or Christmas), riding on motorcycles with a passenger was banned for three days for the same reason, despite that being the main means of transport for the underprivileged population when buses aren't running. Security checkpoints have been made on various locations and random vehicle checking is done. We are living in warlike conditions despite not being in actual war and I blame both the terrorists and the Americans for that.
 

ElPatron

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Jul 18, 2011
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Fiz_The_Toaster said:
So?

I have a flying nation, you honestly expect logic into any other this?
Even in the most illogical fiction, Switzerland is impenetrable. It's must be an actual law of Nature or something, because they just kick ass.
Arif_Sohaib said:
I would spread fake news of my country building various WMDs giving the US an excuse to attack, but before this time my spies would be busy gathering intel on the US offensive capabilities and my scientists would prepare defenses against those very weapons so when they do attack they would be in for a surprise. A successful defense would boost the confidence of my allies and we would plan retaliation and this time we would combine our forces and do the Red Alert 2 thing.
To use a known internet meme, "Fake news is fake". To actually make the US believe you are producing WMDs, you must produce them. Besides, making the US throwing the first stone would be a lost cause. There would be a lot of international pressure, UN doing absolutely nothing worth mentioning and your people suffering from the embargoes. Don't forget that the US lost trillions in a war of attrition that lasted over a decade, they don't want to sink into debt even more.

In case things got really hairy, you'd probably be assassinated. Mossad, American special forces or just like in Afghanistan, the US would supply weapons and training. Instead of kicking Russian butts, this time it's a revolution.

Finally, if you want to protect your own country against American weapons, you don't need high tech that takes years to perfect - just make your own Second Amendment. If there is a rifle behind every blade of grass and explosives ready to maim and traumatize thousands of soldiers, the cost of invasion will be far too high.
 

Fiz_The_Toaster

books, Books, BOOKS
Legacy
Jan 19, 2011
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United States
ElPatron said:
Fiz_The_Toaster said:
So?

I have a flying nation, you honestly expect logic into any other this?
Even in the most illogical fiction, Switzerland is impenetrable. It's must be an actual law of Nature or something, because they just kick ass.
Doesn't mean I can't try, and I'm sure my hacking ferrets will do something with their system so they can't attack me.

No one can suspect evil deeds by ferrets. :D
 

theblindedhunter

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Jul 8, 2012
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ElPatron said:
theblindedhunter said:
I guess I'd go after America. Black it out with a blanket of EMP weapons and use strike teams to reduce the leadership to naught. Let things stew and go to hell for a while, keeping them out of contact with the rest of the world, then swoop in and give them a new government's protection.

Nothing against (or for) America in particular, just a "go big or go home" sort of deal.
Problem would be launching the nuke without the US knowing, prevent it from getting shot down, and actually covering the whole American territory with the pulse (you'd need a few nukes for good measure).

Then you'd have the country's most important electronics shielded against EMPs, the fact that "Faraday Cages" would prevent everything from being cooked and that older technology is nearly immune to EMP. Example: a Faraday Cage can be a metal cage (must be continuous, no gaps) of any thickness that will protect electronics inside. While copper wires would defeat the purpose of a Faraday Cage, optic fiber can go trough it. Even if most of the electronics in America are not shielded against an EMP, replacement parts at hand could bring the systems back online in a jiffy.

Imagining you could defeat the Army, the Marine Corps, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard and National Guard, you'd still have ~300 million firearms in circulation and an area of 10 million square kilometers to secure.
Well the idea is to use the confusion and damage from the EMP blasts to give an advantage to the strike teams. The main goal is to take out power centers, and reduce the country to warring sects. It may take some more precision strikes to keep anyone from getting too big, and perhaps spies to push the right buttons, but the nation has a very loose sense of nationalism in addition to being quite large, so I don't think it would be terribly difficult to dissolve the country into city-states.
The point being, those firearms and multiple military branches are meant to be an advantage.
 

Lord Kloo

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The awesome sexy rainbow communion of San Francisco will rain love, tolerance and acceptance upon the WBC, the Southern States and England (cus' I live here and i want some of that awesome).

And if our absolutely fabulous plan fails we can always resort to the gay steamroller..

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally

Just scroll down the link a bit to see what we're talking about, the nation does not make hollow threats

captcha: game is up - too right
 

Judgement101

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Mar 29, 2010
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Brazil, so I can destroy their internet so they can't ruin my DotA2 matches anymore -_-, yes, I am a very petty person.
 

Toilet

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Feb 22, 2012
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I would invade Poland and enslave the populace for menial labour. It'll be better than actually living in Poland.

Quaxar said:
Dear Vatican, come at me, bro.

You'd just need something that has a longer range than a halberd. Works even better if you first manage to first release a swarm of locusts and make it rain blood from the skies.
Vatican City are under protection by the Swiss Guard. Those brutal motherfuckers will have you packing by lunchtime. You don't fuck with the Swiss Guard despite their silly uniforms.
 

ElPatron

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theblindedhunter said:
Well the idea is to use the confusion and damage from the EMP blasts to give an advantage to the strike teams.
Except that a handful of systems would not be offline and would track every move.

It's not like it takes 2 minutes to invade a country. First you need to move everything you have into position.

theblindedhunter said:
The main goal is to take out power centers
Which is why they are usually guarded by heavily armed security forces. Anyway, in case of invasion anything that produces energy will have soldiers mobilizing to the area.

And if you take out power plants, your invasion will be a massive failure when you can't provide energy for your own troops, let alone for the civilians.

If you attack a nuclear plant, the chances of rendering your territory useless are far too high.

It's a catch-22. You need power too, and you don't want meltdowns and fallout to kill your own troops and contaminate your food/water supplies.

theblindedhunter said:
in addition to being quite large
Which is why the resistance would have no problems hiding, while you had to monitor 10 million square kilometers. That's a lot.


theblindedhunter said:
The point being, those firearms and multiple military branches are meant to be an advantage.
Uh, no? That's a disadvantage. Numbers wise, the Coast Guard and National Guard could probably take on most European countries alone. The Marines are big enough to fight a war on their own.

And don't forget that when you finally reach US soil, you'll have American aircraft carriers and nuclear subs ready to surround you.

Those firearms are not an advantage. The Afghanis had/have AKs, PSLs/SVDs, some Stingers, RPKs, a few HK G3s, Enfields and Mosin Nagants and they were able to kick Russia's bum. Then the Taliban were able to fight the US military for over a decade, not allowing the US to retain control of 100% of the country.

You will be like Russia in Afghanistan. Like the US in Vietnam. But this time the underdog has both low-tech and high-tech weaponry.

VoidWanderer said:
Is war the only option?
No. Hypothetically you could just buy all politicians.
 

Noswad

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Mar 21, 2011
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So I'm in control of a giant floating supercity with the power to invade any country I desire and you think the first thing I want to do is go to war. Yeah screw that, i already have the most kick ass country in the world, i'm just going to sit here in my 2000 room mansion that's shaped like the Tardis and hold the worlds most decadent party.
 

Meight08

*Insert Funny Title*
Feb 16, 2011
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Istvan said:
Italy and I choose a group of hooligans. A bit overpowered considering the ineptitude of the Italian military but it's hard to go lower than pre-industrial Ethiopia.
Actually ethiopa had an actual army consisting of 100:000 soldiers, 80:000 of which were armed with Italian bolt action rifles and, they had russian military advisors and ethiopians have like 3000 years of experience in war.
 

MASTACHIEFPWN

Will fight you and lose
Mar 27, 2010
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I'd go to war with France, steal the obilisk Napoleon stole, and put it in my country's capital. After then we'll call for an Armistace. I don't hate the french that much to a point where I totally want them dead, they do way to much culturally, I just want to keep the tradition up of stealing the obilisk Napleon unknowingly started 210 years ago...