You've just become emperor of the world. What's your first decree?

[tehroc]

Take all the money from the rich, equalize the populace and focus it all towards space exploration.

 

[2xDouble]

Ok, everybody pair off and fight to the death! There, most problems solved.

*Edit: Specificity: pair off male vs male and female vs female. I want to thin the population, but still maintain approximately the same gender ratios for good continuity.

 

[Angus565]

Everyone in the world will meet at my private lake up in the mountains every 1st weekend of a month for 2 months of sex, drugs and sausage rolls. Also every Wednesday free cake and bacon is handed out. And pants are outlawed.

 

[FrostyChick]

I would forge a great ring of power and into it I would pour my malice, hatred and will to dominate all things. Enivitablely I would lose it to "the rightfull king", who would also envitablely die fighting the remnants of my once grand army only for the ring to be found by a pathetic looking short creepy bloke who then loses it to another short creepy bloke that gives it to his nephew and being the rebelious youth he is, him and his friends would sneak into my back garden and chuck the ring into a volcano and cement my enevitable fate of wandering the world forever as a shadow unable to further influence the world for all enternity.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

That gay marriage is legal everywhere, and that all gays currently in Civil Unions are officially married.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you are homosexual.

Wrong limb, I am not gay, I can't even imagine a crotch up my butt, cause I don't play that way. However, I think Gay's deserve the right to be married, and I am tired of people saying that it's "Immoral" And that it "Ruins Marriage". If god thought gay marriage was Immoral then a rather big percent of the Population wouldn't be gay.

 

[PurpleSky]

Declare free elections next tuesday.

 

[Pendragon9]

I would make the world a better place....

Until I got bored with it and just went gung ho with the weapons until the PowerPuff Girls stop me.

 

[The Scythian]

I would begin The Imperial Space Expansion, in order dominate the galaxy. I would secure my power through clones, or a sandtrout suit, for immortality.

 

[Mannayz]

I would first change the title from "emperor" to "qzzitkytimaytahurkendoush" and anybody who doesn't address me by that title gets hit by a wet mop.

 

[ProtoChimp]

My first decree is to tax every last damn religion out there. What about you?

Dude thats kind of fucked up and prejudice.
OT: I would hire ninja's, robots, samurai's, aliens, golems, giants, assassins, mercenaries and all soldiers around the worls to have a tag-team japanese death match against any singers who use auto tune and try to pass it off as real talent.

 

[Mr Thin]

To forbid the children of the world from being taught religion by their parents.

They shall all be taken to special child camps, and raised to believe in things like self-respect, respect of others, honesty, integrity, decency, generosity, cooperation, etc.

Afterward, they shall be returned to their parents, who can them attempt to teach them in whatever religion they desire.

...Sounds kind of cruel now that I've typed it out. Hey, never said I was a perfect Emperor of the World. Frankly, I shouldn't even be Emperor of a Suburb.

 

[Harkonnen64]

I decree that all meals will be served with a side of Cool Ranch Doritos!

 

[Communist partisan]

Communism for everbody! Than you join the Commie party you get a fine cuban ciggar BOOSH!

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

Down with Apple! Including the iPod and iPhone.

 

[Nukey]

I'd order the colonization of mars and have it terraformed.

Then, from that point on, I'd colonize the rest of the solar system, give up my title as emperor and become a bounty hunter.

 

[SamFancyPants252]

Have Monika Kos brought before me, at which point I would spout endless scientific bullshit at her until she screamed for mercy, tell her "now you know what it feels like" then put her in a house with a bomb, then in my cocky reporter-y voice "the ticking time bomb in Perth homes...."
then BOOOOOOOMCHAKALAKA!

 

[LordOmnit]

Everyone gets the question:
Cake or death?