Zero Punctuation and Final Fantasy XIII

[Nomanslander]

It feels like every second day there's another 'What will Yahtzee think of 'x' game' thread. It seems a bit pointless.

Some people like to think Yahtzee has some great insight into games that the rest of us don't share.

His is just another opinion, picky and over bearing in most cases, but colorful enough to entertain us.

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

--"It's linear"
He'll complain about that
--"Story driven"
He'll complain about cutscenes
--"Engaging battle system"
Too complicated/roundabout/still not real-time

Nope. No way in hell that he'll like it. If he does, call me to say that the apocalypse has come.

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

Pointless thread is pointless.

If Yahtzee reviews FFXIII, I'll eat my laptop.

Make sure you film this and put it up on some website.
Also, let us know what that does to your digestive system, I don't think it'll be good for you.

I'm not saying he'll definitely review it, I'm just saying that if he does I'll be expecting you to keep to your words.

I think you missed the point there. I didn't say they were all the same, did I? Perhaps you should read into things a bit more before waffling on like that.

The point I was trying to make was that each character is unique, not recycled.

They're unique in the same way female pop singers and "boy bands" are unique.
They've got different faces, not all of them have the same hair color or style... They weren't all born and raised in the same place and thus don't all have the same background, but in the end they're all pretty much interchangeable.

That makes no sense. If you swapped their positions, then the story wouldn't make any sense because they have no place in it. How are you interchangeable if you have a different motivation, background, and personality than the next guy? That's like saying I'm interchangeable with Yahtzee.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Judging from the things that are different this time around, it sounds like Yahtzee might actually like Final Fantasy XIII. It's linear, story driven, with an engaging battle system even for a JRPG. I am positive he'll gripe about the character design. It's pretty clear he is not a huge fan of Japanese archetypes. If that doesn't kill it for him, from what I am seeing of the game and his past opinions, he might give it a favorable review.

What do you guys think?

(Provided, of course, he actually reviews it)

[HEADING=2]YAHTZEE DOES NOT REVIEW GAMES HE IS A CRITIC NOT A REVIEWER THERE IS A MASSIVE DIFFERENCE[/HEADING]
No Yahtzee will not like it one bit because thats why people watch him. He gave one game ages ago a good review Psychonauts and everyone hated it. After that he began to nick pick all things that might be possibly wrong with them for comedy. Not in any way shape or form will his critique be good for the game because he has hatred for JRPGs.

Personally im more looking forward to his heavy rain review. A whole game built around quick time events, if nothing else it should make for a comical review.

Heavy Rain's "gameplay" almost makes me think it was specifically designed to troll Yahtzee.

Oh yes...because the Junction system 8, materia stytem 7 , job system 5, sphere grid 10.

Are just so damn similar. Not all turn based combat is the same, you know.

Just because the surface appearances are different doesn't mean the games are vastly different. The combat sequences all worked the same, the random encounters all worked the same, the tropes were pretty consistently identical from game to game. The character power progression was always the same (gradual increase, hit plot point, start running around to collect epic gear, beat final boss, done). The inventory system never really changed, and I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point. You're basically arguing that if they took a game like Doom or Medal of Honor, or whatever, and kept everything the same except for the guns, that the two games would be entirely different.

I like some FF games. III, IV, and parts of X that don't involve the hammy storyline. I am a JRPG fan who doesn't like the majority of FF games, or Square games in general. Woah

Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness - Fuck yeah.

Combat none in FF8 enough said. Also there are fairly vast differences for using each system. Just because they produce the same result doesn't mean they aren't worlds apart. Yes the formula has never changed but that is like say Bethesda or Bioware hasn't changed their formula and they haven't if you don't like the core of the game play something else simple as.

 

[Wintermoot]

he hates JRPG,s by default so I think he wont even consider reviewing it (well probaly because o tis huge hype but he wont like it)

 

[TOGSolid]

Just because the surface appearances are different doesn't mean the games are vastly different. The combat sequences all worked the same, the random encounters all worked the same, the tropes were pretty consistently identical from game to game. The character power progression was always the same (gradual increase, hit plot point, start running around to collect epic gear, beat final boss, done). The inventory system never really changed, and I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point. You're basically arguing that if they took a game like Doom or Medal of Honor, or whatever, and kept everything the same except for the guns, that the two games would be entirely different.

Guys, what's up with Gears of War? It seems like every game is the same. You just run around until you see some enemies, duck behind cover and you shoot. The guns always have triggers, the grenades always explode, it's the same tropes every time. You always get guns the same way (looting dead bodies, finding them on the battle field, it's like they aren't even trying!). The weapon loadout system never really changed much, and I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.
(Sorry, your medal of honor reference doesn't work. The weapons the characters use change in every game. FFS Snow in FF13 uses jackets[sub]...let that idiocy sink in, I know it took a while for me to get that wtf out of the way.[/sub]. I digress, the system in which the guns are used in an FPS never changes.)
(btw: FF8. Draw system. Learn of it.)

Except one of my major criticisms of the FPS genre IS its horrible stagnation. So few of those games actually offer any sort of new experience. That's one of the subtle points I was bringing up. All too often, all they do IS change the guns around and maybe the setting and then claim that it's an entirely new game. "If I see that fucking space marine one more time..."
I've heard tale of FF8 and its draw system, and it's usually accompanied by FF fans recoiling in horror and deploying the holy water and garlic. I think I'm best not learning of it, lol.

Final Fantasy has basically been stuck in 1987 until only recently when Square Enix finally realized they were developing a game for a system that can actually take some stress. The random encounter system is a great example of this. It made perfect sense back in the day due to the limited resources of the Nintendo. They couldn't figure out how to have the enemies show up until FF12? Really? The series may have evolved graphically, but let's face it, FF had been nothing but a series of prettied up versions of:

and

for a looooooooooong time.
FF 12 I actually had some fun with until I got distracted by some other game because Square had finally started to evolve the series. Sure the story was basically the same ole horseshit they've been shilling for two decades, but at least the gameplay was made to be passable for a modern title. To be fair, if FF13 turns out to be something that's actually fun, then sure, I'll give it a whack. I'm not that big of a douche that I won't give a game a fair shake, but it has to continue the evolution that 12 started and not just end up being another round of stagnation.

 

[CheckD3]

I know he's played Heavy Rain, so that'll be this weeks ZP probably, and I'm sure the week after will be Battlefield Bad Company 2 since it's had a lot to talk about. I think if he DOES review, it'll be like the Borderlands review, and knowing the FF fanbase, he'll do another mailbag showdown 2 weeks after he tears FFXIII a new one

The reason he probably won't review it is not a JRPG, but because he'd rather play something else. Just because it's "different" than the FF games, doesn't mean it isn't like the others in that sense. Why do they make new stories and new everything but still tag a number on the end of the FF name? Why don't they just make new names? You want to talk about a company that's in it for the money, bam! They care SO much for the money they remove any creativity from the title so FF fans HAVE to buy it to add it to their collection...

 

[Orbot_Vectorman]

Personaly, I would have to agree with Yahtzee (If he were to rip on the game), and say that Final Fantasy just needs to die. C'mon Square, make a good game, and let that old horse die. And what happened to Parasite Eve 3 (A.K.A Compleatly screw the orriginal story). To be honest, Square-Enix is a fail company any more, until it can let go of its FF fetish, I say the company needs to die, or come up with something new, or try something new... Hell I would like to see them make a non-RPG game, maybe an FPS (Another WWII one would be nice), or maybe go with the new zombie craze. I don't care, just something with new life, new play, I just want to see something other than Final "frikkin" Fantasy, with the Square-Enix logo on it.
So in short, the company needs to lay their game to rest, and start something new and fresh for all you fan boys and girls out there, and something new that will bring in new costomers.

 

[Broady Brio]

He might. He might not.

I'm leaning towards not.

 

[TOGSolid]

I know he's played Heavy Rain, so that'll be this weeks ZP probably, and I'm sure the week after will be Battlefield Bad Company 2 since it's had a lot to talk about. I think if he DOES review, it'll be like the Borderlands review, and knowing the FF fanbase, he'll do another mailbag showdown 2 weeks after he tears FFXIII a new one

The reason he probably won't review it is not a JRPG, but because he'd rather play something else. Just because it's "different" than the FF games, doesn't mean it isn't like the others in that sense. Why do they make new stories and new everything but still tag a number on the end of the FF name? Why don't they just make new names? You want to talk about a company that's in it for the money, bam! They care SO much for the money they remove any creativity from the title so FF fans HAVE to buy it to add it to their collection...

That's actually food for thought right there. Why hasn't Square Enix just dropped Final Fantasy and instead started a new series where they can really go nuts without risking alienating the FF fanbase?

Spoiler

The Last Remnant

Oh...

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Now, to be fair, Final Fantasy has been recycling the same characters in much the same way over the years.

Firion: He is pretty much a stereotype of the genre he is an orphan whos home was destroyed by the emperor and he joins a rebellion to stop them.
Cecil Harvey: A noble dark knight turned paladin.
Bartz Klauser: A fun loving wanderer who hardly takes things seriously.
Edgar Figaro: A Ladies man and a huge flirt, he is the king of Figaro and puts his responsibilities to his kingdom above himself
Terra Brandford: A half esper half human girl who is confused with her emotions and her loss of memory, she later on becomes more headstrong and assertive when she has something to fight for.
Cloud Strife: ... ugh a soulless character who really lacks any personality whatsoever let us move on to a better FF7 character
Zack Fair: An upbeat protagonist who fights to protect his honor as SOLDIER and searches for his old teacher and friend Angeal.
Squall Leonhart: A smart person who is often looked to as a leader despite the fact he hates being responsible for others, he doesn't let people get close to him for the fear of losing them.
Zidane Tribal: A fun loving and slightly immature womanizer who Helps garnet escape from her mother and from a series of events finds himself saving the world.
Tidus: A boy who wound up in Spira after a blitzall game beign ruined by a sin attack, confused and clueless about Spira he follows Yuna on her pilgrimage, Upbeat and carefree he is a bit childish, though serious at heart.
Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca: The princess of Dalmasca, a kingdom that fell to archades she longs to stop archades and free her people very headstrong and a bit of tunnel vision she only seeked to find her goal but she becomes more open as the story progresses

Yup all the same...

Look in to things a bit before you start saying silly things like that.

Just because you don't like Cloud doesn't make him soulless going by that Squall is much worse as a character as he is much for introverted and angtsy than Cloud. Which they are both good characters just with different aspects. I'm not saying he isn't overused and that most people senselessly like him but that doesn't justify hate.

 

[TheSteeleStrap]

I doubt he will review it but... Let's not forget that the turn-based combat will break it for him. I haven't played it but, I suppose it would be interesting.

 

[Hyper-space]

Yahtzee usually has the same arguements I have.
The horrible plot, poorly voiced Australian character, another uninteresting battle systems and the whole removal of pretty much every RPG aspect of it will most likely drive him away from it.

quoted for truth.

also people, before judging the game's story line and characters, read the Grand list of JRPG cliché's

 

[TOGSolid]

Combat none in FF8 enough said. Also there are fairly vast differences for using each system. Just because they produce the same result doesn't mean they aren't worlds apart. Yes the formula has never changed but that is like say Bethesda or Bioware hasn't changed their formula and they haven't if you don't like the core of the game play something else simple as.

Which is exactly what I do. I avoid FF like the plague. My main contention was just with what's his face making it sound like each FF has been a massive departure from the previous one.

Yes, I'm arguing word choice and semantics essentially, but damnit, fanboys need to get brought down to earth once in a while and be made to actually think about why they like the games they like.

 

[CheckD3]

I know he's played Heavy Rain, so that'll be this weeks ZP probably, and I'm sure the week after will be Battlefield Bad Company 2 since it's had a lot to talk about. I think if he DOES review, it'll be like the Borderlands review, and knowing the FF fanbase, he'll do another mailbag showdown 2 weeks after he tears FFXIII a new one

The reason he probably won't review it is not a JRPG, but because he'd rather play something else. Just because it's "different" than the FF games, doesn't mean it isn't like the others in that sense. Why do they make new stories and new everything but still tag a number on the end of the FF name? Why don't they just make new names? You want to talk about a company that's in it for the money, bam! They care SO much for the money they remove any creativity from the title so FF fans HAVE to buy it to add it to their collection...

That's actually food for thought right there. Why hasn't Square Enix just dropped Final Fantasy and instead started a new series where they can really go nuts without risking alienating the FF fanbase?

Spoiler

The Last Remnant

Oh...

I haven't played that game, but just wikipedia'd it, and I think the problem was that they set out to TRY and make a game different than an FF game. Why they don't make a FF game, plan on calling it FF24-83, but then just before release, or adding all those Ff titles, replace them with a new name, like say you gave FFXII a new game, call it something like "The Pirate Complex" or something like that (obviously I haven't beaten FFXII and won't for a long time, but that was the first thing that I remember about it so to you FF fans I say bleh). It's the same thing that FF was built upon, and until they added the cover art WAS a FF game, but wasn't

Messing with a formula that works is stupid, but reusing it till you've got as much out of a franchise as George Lucas is also stupid...is there no middle ground? (God of War...ah how you seem to be so strong in every aspect of gaming)

 

[squid5580]

No he won't.

Way too many ZP threads lately.

We need a ZP thread for every popular new game that is being released. That is the law.

 

[Void(null)]

Nope. He'll hate it on principle...

But for arguments sake, the thing about Final Fantasy is that EVERY GAME IS DIFFERENT.

So, you can't just play one or two and justify hating them all. Even if you are some kind of dedicated anti-Japanese gamer. The series reinvents itself with every entry. New combat system, new leveling system, new characters, new location.

New... combat system? For 20 years FF has been 3 guys line up and take turns hitting a bunch of other guys who line up. Adding more crap to 3 guys line up, does not a new combat system make.

Thats like saying Madden reinvents itself every release because it has a new cast, different stats and some new features.

 

[Xtasisanu]

He might or he might not? but usually his angle is to pinpoint the bad things...he even explained it in one of his videos. That is what he does and it brings a larger comedic effect to his reviews... even if he likes it I will truly be dissapointed in the way Square is heading with the FF series.