Zero Punctuation: Eve Online

[Azmael Silverlance]

Just what i was looking for.

I think so far your (talking to Yahtzee here) Eve review is the best in the series. Nothing else has managed to make me laugh so hard its just pure fun to watch it. Sometimes after the weekly new video i just scroll back into the archive to see it again.
Maybe its cuz im so involved with WoW and the mmorpg genre i dont know but it rly cracks me up.

And also cuz by the time i saw it i already tried the trial and found everything you said true. if that is not the king of boredom games then im pretty sure its somewhere around the throne flapping like a chicken xD

p.p: Luv the show i wish you post new stuff twice a week! xD

 

[vandimar77]

shit

An an eve player, I would like to apologize for this retard.

I swear, most of our trolls are at least interesting. This one CAOD itself would be ashamed of.

I am not a troll, and unlike your dumb ass, i have badges and some actual posts and activity since I joined this website/forum, mister 2 troll posts 1 autobadge anon JUNE 2009...

So why don't you GTFO, and go back to CAOD and the STEAM forums, you only came here to swear at people like a moron and edit their quotes...

And use fail grammar...

Us.asc is right though; you are coming across as a bit of a retard. I guess there's hope that you might grow out of it.

 

[DeathWyrmNexus]

Are you seriously judging your value on this site off your badges? That's just sad, Edzor.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt in the newest ZP and came back to this review to see what I had forgotten. I still can't find anything that he honestly needs to go into. He went over the gameplay mechanics and understood what a corporation entails. Requesting anything more is akin to asking him to give as much of a damn as you do, IE agree with you to justify your love.

Here is a protip. You don't need Daddy Yahtzee's approval. If you like the game, that is enough.

 

[Kstreitenfeld]

Honey, shouldn't you be playing Barbie's dollhouse adventure or something?
Women are too shallow and retarded to play this game, and they run away crying when they see that there is no ingame character and no makeup involved...
Go play your shit kiddie girlie, NERFED WoW please...

The only thing stupid, worthless and annoying here is you...

Bitches don't know 'bout my Eve Online...

 

[Iron Mal]

Are you seriously judging your value on this site off your badges? That's just sad, Edzor.

I am not judging my "value", i am judging my activity...

Unlike those 2 guys that tried to flame and troll me and FAILED, i have badges, over 5 posts and a profile that proves that i am an active user, unlike them, who just made accounts here to troll and flame occasionally...

Firstly, I liked the review (hey, I never really got into any MMO besides Diablo, which I should add I did in single player), I've had to watch this one because for some reason the newer ones won't load.

Anyways, about the guy I've quoted, badges? Over five posts (hell, you even have fifty!)? and a profile that dictates you are an active user?

I personally wouldn't fall back on these few things to defend your credability (for starters, compare your fifty posts to my coming on two thousand, does that mean anything I say can instantly blow you out of the proverbial water?) and the absence of these things doesn't make anyone else's opinion less valid (for all you know they have just signed up, everyone has to start at some point).

Also, by the looks of it, you are a bit of a troll with flaming tendancies.

I'm just saying what I see.

 

[Iron Mal]

Ok, take uc.asc, for example...

The guy signed up in JUNE, he only has 2 posts (both are incredibly stupid and obviously trolls), one automatic badge that he did nothing to get (use this website), so that proves that he is just a troll...

Same for that other guy that called me a retard, he is obviously uc.asc's fresh alt, made for the same purpose (in order to seem like a new user, he made his alt 2 days ago, specifically to reply to that...).

I'd say that rings some bells and that my point is valid, wouldn't you?
So, your whole "they are new, give them a chance" argument doesn't hold water...

Also, i say again, i am not a troll, i just have a bad internet forum lishp, and i spit acid, venom and truth when i talk

Regardless of whether someone else has been a trolling jackass, it doesn't really excuse you from the same thing (disregarding someone else's opinion in a somewhat abusive manner and then continuing to do so is what you were doing, whetyher you view that as trolling/flaming or as expressing your view is irrelevent).

I really couldn't be bothered to read uc.asc's wall of text so I can't really comment on what he has or hasn't said but I can quite easily comment on your outbursts given their short, to the point nature.

Also, 'acid, venom and truth'? The first one? Definately, the second one? Without a doubt, the third one? That's very questionable.

 

[uc.asc]

If I could chip in here - the closest thing to trolling I did was call the people, in this thread, who call eve boring, idiots. I then proceed to explain why, extoll eve's virtues and explain why it isn't a game that would appeal to most people. Badge boy referring to my post as an "incredibly stupid and obvious troll" indicates that he's not exactly arguing on the level here.

He, on the other hand, states that "Women are too shallow and retarded to play this game". To me that fits the definition of a troll, and I would be very interested to hear any argument to the contrary. As, I imagine, would the women who play eve. Calling the person to whom he was replying a hopeless ditz would be appropriate; inaccurately targeting an entire gender is so far over the line I'm amazed that he even tries to defend it.

.

The person you say is my alt isn't -- I'm not that involved here. I have two posts because the only thing on this site which interests me is this thread (it being the single largest collection of pro- and anti-eve sentiment on the internet) and I covered everything I wanted to say about eve with my first post. I'm here to advocate for eve, diagree with anything blatantly inaccurate and, as it turns out, defend eve against people who are apparently doing their best to convince the world at large that the eve playerbase are blathering morons who should be avoided at all costs. Post count and badges have no bearing on the validity of my statements, just as I will be the first to admit that my dreadnought operator badge on the eve killboards is no indication that I'm any good at pvp.

Hope this helps~

 

[uc.asc]

Here you go, since apparently you can't be bothered to click on my name and do your research on the single post of mine you haven't read before calling it an "incredibly stupid and obviously troll" http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/6.70442?page=22#2417119

A direct link can't be too complicated for you, can it?

 

[BonsaiK]

If CCP ever release Walking In Stations for EVE I might start singing its praises. Until then it is bean-counting junk for masochists.

 

[uc.asc]

Maybe if you were to hang out with a better class of people than those who are willing to put up with you?

Seriously now, click the link. Read the post. Just because the guy who's been here longer than you hasn't read it doesn't mean it's too late to man up and admit you're wrong.

Or you could try to convince me that using the word 'idiot' once in an extremely long post, then mitigating it in the very next sentence, is trolling. Good luck with that by the way.

 

[beorntheold]

i played EVE for several months in early 2007 (4-5, not sure anymore) and this is what i found:

a) even several years after its launch from a tech point of view the game still felt like a beta - first thing i noticed, the game didn't support anti-aliasing, the sound didn't work properly (some sounds effects were abnormally loud, etc). the game was supposed to shine when it comes to large scale battles, but the servers couldn't really handle those; the GUI was like a collection of don'ts from a human-computer interaction course

b) i found myself a PVP corp, full of experienced players, as everyone kept telling me i should. it was run almost exclusively by elitist twats...

c) even though i was training to become a battle pilot from the get go, after several months i was still utterly useless in a PVP fight (enemy sniper ships were too far away, speedy ships - too fast for me to hit (and out of range before i could even lock onto them), battleships - too durable, etc). most nights we would pilot around our sector for hours without meeting any resistance. only few of us were even allowed to talk(!); the famous learning curve didn't bother me - what we spent most of our together doing was plain pointless, humiliating and un-fun...

d) battle missions, my only source of income, were repetitive and unbearably boring; ok, i thought, i'll create a char specializing in the economic aspects of the game to finance my battle pilot... it turns out even though you have multiple character slots you can only train (and thus, effectively, play) one (1) character at a time!?

at some point i calculated that i'll have to do the exact same things, grind the same missions and train, for another 3 months(!) before i could afford the ship i wanted and even much longer if i followed the golden rule of not buying anything that i can't afford to replace at least twice (or was it three times?); that's 3 more months of something i was already bored to tears of. surrounded by assholes. at that point i sold everything, sent the cash back to the corp mate, who had helped me the most, and canceled my subscription.

you can't expect sane people to pay you for 6 months before they start enjoying your game. not when there are fun(!) games with the value and technical polish of, say, Guild Wars around.

 

[Jay Cee]

Gosh Yahtzee referenced my home town of Cheltenham.

I feel slightly bemused but elated at the same time, what do I do with these conflicting emotions?

 

[Solvonian]

Whats the point in a space exploration game when you cant even leave your ship?

 

[PxDn Ninja]

i played EVE for several months in early 2007 (4-5, not sure anymore) and this is what i found:

a) even several years after its launch from a tech point of view the game still felt like a beta - first thing i noticed, the game didn't support anti-aliasing, the sound didn't work properly (some sounds effects were abnormally loud, etc). the game was supposed to shine when it comes to large scale battles, but the servers couldn't really handle those; the GUI was like a collection of don'ts from a human-computer interaction course

That was back before the Trinity engine was released. They wanted a game that could run on very low powered systems. When they released Trinity, there were two graphics packs available, low and high quality.

b) i found myself a PVP corp, full of experienced players, as everyone kept telling me i should. it was run almost exclusively by elitist twats...

Probably a BoB or Goonsquad corp. I'm in a merc corp right now (one of the top ones in the game) and haven't met an "elitist twat" yet. I won't say they aren't in the game, but they are in every game (I can't count the amount of "elitist twats" I ran into in WOW).

The trick is to find a corp that you enjoy, just like any other game.

c) even though i was training to become a battle pilot from the get go, after several months i was still utterly useless in a PVP fight (enemy sniper ships were too far away, speedy ships - too fast for me to hit (and out of range before i could even lock onto them), battleships - too durable, etc). most nights we would pilot around our sector for hours without meeting any resistance. only few of us were even allowed to talk(!); the famous learning curve didn't bother me - what we spent most of our together doing was plain pointless, humiliating and un-fun...

Sounds like you had a poor skillplan, or were with poor PVPers. Within a couple of months, you can be useful in a fleet as a tackler or ewar frigate. Also, tactics play more a role that skills. That enemy sniper battleship shouldn't have had traversal tracking on you if you were in a frigate. If you were in a cruiser and doing pvp, your afterburner or MicroWarpDrive should have helped close the distance and keep traversal (though the sig radius with the MWD would make it rough).

The thing is in eve there is ALWAYS a counter. No build is perfect, which is why it is the most balanced game out there.

d) battle missions, my only source of income, were repetitive and unbearably boring; ok, i thought, i'll create a char specializing in the economic aspects of the game to finance my battle pilot... it turns out even though you have multiple character slots you can only train (and thus, effectively, play) one (1) character at a time!?

at some point i calculated that i'll have to do the exact same things, grind the same missions and train, for another 3 months(!) before i could afford the ship i wanted and even much longer if i followed the golden rule of not buying anything that i can't afford to replace at least twice (or was it three times?); that's 3 more months of something i was already bored to tears of. surrounded by assholes. at that point i sold everything, sent the cash back to the corp mate, who had helped me the most, and canceled my subscription.

you can't expect sane people to pay you for 6 months before they start enjoying your game. not when there are fun(!) games with the value and technical polish of, say, Guild Wars around.

Mission running isn't for everyone, but again sounds like you were not being efficent with it. Within a few weeks you should be running lvl four missions, making around 10-50mil an hour. Also, if you are running missions, that golden rule is out the window as you shouldn't lose your ship often. As for training just one character, it's always been that way. I would love to train three characters instead of just one, but no dice. A good PVP character though should be able to run Missions with little trouble.

 

[onda]

Hilarious, seriously eve sucks, there was a 5 kabillion hour tutorial + within the tutorial was a part where you had to wait for a skill to go up

 

[Spectre39]

I recently ended my EvE subscription. My main reason being real life circumstances making my internet sub-par to DSL, but also I really dreaded my last month of playing. An important note, I rejoined over the holidays and spent January being excited and trying to get back into the game since my first weeks six months ago. I was disappointed. Anyhow, here's what I wrote in the "Wait, what? You're not going to pay us anymore? But whhhhhhy?!" box.

Moving back home, where the internet doesn't accommodate EvE.

Also, having doubts about my long-term participation with this MMO. It seems that in order to get ahead you have to invest a large portion of time training skills. Time, that I have qualms investing large quantities of in order to get a favorable return on said investment.

Oh, and a quick sidenote I really, really hated spending 20+ hours of my weekend scanning wormholes and their entire contents for my corp to run so I could get a cut of the loot... only to have them run none of them and get no reward for my troubles. That was fun.

I think I prefer the theme park model MMO. Sure the sandbox is a novel idea, but the theme park guarantees reward in exchange for effort.

And one last thing. You don't need to punish the player in order to have them understand that "Space is big". Whenever every activity I do seems to take me on a 10+ gate jump journey, the prospect of travel and therefore said activities becomes incredibly tedious. I want to spend my leisure time doing interesting things, not monotonous time consuming travel. If that's what I wanted to do I would be a truck driver. Atleast they pay me for the trouble, not the other way around.

Ah, I'm done ranting. Keep up the good work, I guess.

 

[PQVarus]

Eve is the most boring game I ever saw. I played the 14-day trail 2 times. The second time I could not resist more than 4-5 days. For those who claim that they are so much smarter than the rest of the world, and this is the reason only they can play this so wonderful game, I feel only pity. There was a time I thought I was the most brilliant person of the world. Fortunately, it passed. Some are forever caught in this nightmare.

 

[RDL_Razor]

Eve rules and your wrong. Great review as always

Third comment and it already hit the fan (in both meanings).

See, Eve is awesome and stuff, but it's the same grind if you don't get out of hisecs. Well, there are occasional suicide-gankers that want all your estamel shineys, but if you are into grind then you are probably so full of ISK you couldn't care less.

I got hooked by a mate who showed me 0.0 on my second week after wanking around in lowsecs and then was recruited by RA just in the start of the '06 spring. Imagine how well that went, hurrr. Never got back to empire for more than a couple of days ever since.

Yahtzee, on the other hand, obviously went down the "regular newcomer" road that is indeed full of boredom, messed up UI and mechanics even i, being a 4yo player, don't fully understand.
But once you hit the ghetto or the wasteland (lowsecs and zeroes) full of trigger-happy assholes you fall in love with Eve.

But then i'm also into serious strategies and simulators...

Anyways these images say it all:
http://www.aslum.net/eve/LearningCurve.jpg
http://users.telenet.be/mmodata/Charts/150k-1m.png

 

[Flankhard]

Why the fuck are people still commenting on this?

Oh, it's outraged Eve players who made an account here just for this thread. Even though it is now over one year late. I suppose they're matching the pace of their game.

Damn! Talk about getting caught red handed... and with my pants down aswell. Be gone you evil thruth-seer sorcerer!

On subject tho... I enjoy EVE just as much as I enjoy this review. That should leave you something to ponder on for awhile