Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[rossatdi]

Never played a FF game in my life, but that was as predictable as they come. Even before seeing the same point re-iterated for the fifth time with different wording.

If Jim Sterling got flak for only playing up until the last boss fight, I wonder how much flak Yahtzee will get

It's Yahtzee, people will tell him he's a unique genius and boycott the game.

Now in all fairness some people were happily ignoring it years ago.

 

[stok3r]

Okay, on my first way through (I only got up to disc 3 the first time), it was a bit confusing, but, to me at least, it all makes sence. You just have to pay attention and stuff. And I'm pretty sure it does tell you all about junctioning, so maybe you just didn't get it.

I dunno what your favourite is, but at least its not as dumb as XII's collecting Gambits to make the AI smarter, you know, to make it do what its supposed to do. EG, i have to manually revive teammates cause I don't have the Ally --> KO or HP = 0 Gambit or whatever it is (should be noted that I'm not raging on the game, I still love it to death)

Well, considering I actually started at FF8 where FF experimented on different gameplay styles, and the fact that my gamer's tastes have evolved, I didn't like much any of the newer FFs' storytelling. Also none of the newer gameplay styles have warmed up to me as to what game style I'd love on an JRPG:
FF7 - Slow-turned based style (Loved it before, but now, not so much)
FF8 - Only fun if you actually learned the whole deal of the gameplay in 1 single battle tutorial
FF9 - Back to old FF, but too old to actually like it in its present gen
FF10 - Oh god. Why do I have to play as these pricks, besides Auron?
FF12 - Gambit system = MMORPG style = lie on couch moving the joystick while the game does the combat for you

In conclusion, none of the FFs today has warmed me to the series in this present age. I still consider Chrono Cross as the best JRPG story I ever encountered, and Valkyrie Profile 1 or 2 as the best JRPG gameplay I experienced.

Right. My first was FVIII and FFX at the same time pretty much, so I love them both to death, but I have to agree with you kinda.

FFVII - Boring
FVIII- I liked it, the battle system is pretty easy to understand once you get it, and its different.
FFIX - I own it, but haven't played it much, but I do like it. I think its one of the best looking PS1 games out there personally.
FFX - Except for Tidus and Wakka, I liked all the characters.
FXII - I get where your going at, but I think they kinda succeeded in a single player MMORPG-esque gamestyle. I mean, at least you don't have to grind, and in the harder battles you do have to pay attention and is very fun actually defeating harder enemies.

I haven't played Chrono Cross because, you know, PAL, but with my newly acquired PS1, and also being a fan of Chrono Trigger, it will be one of the first I buy when I chip my console (yeah I know I could just download it, but I like actually having the real disc)

 

[JEBWrench]

And here I was beginning to think that I was the only one not interested in "it gets good after 20 hours". I don't want to play a game longer than it took me to read the Three Kingdoms. Because I'd rather just read if I'm killing that much time.

 

[Dracosage]

Just to let you know, there was already erotic art of FFXIII years before its release.

 

[Chancie]

Haha, I absolutely loved this one. I have FFXIII but I haven't put it in yet. I'm trying to keep an open mind for it but so far, it's not working so well. xD

 

[Samcanuck]

Havent [layed...but I fail to realize how in the age of sandbox gaming the developers thought hey....lets make an rpg linear. THATS what people are looking for.

 

[Suskie]

OKAY, SO. The chocobo in Sazh's afro. Can we all agree to start calling it "frocobo"? Yes?

More on topic: This was easily one of my favorite Yahtzee reviews in recent memory. I kinda like the game, sort of, but then I'd totally understand why anyone would hate it. The old "it gets better later" excuse from two weeks ago gets pulled right back into play (although, to its credit, it really does get better later).

Edit: Oh, and WHAT I WOULD DO to see Yahtzee review Final Fantasy VII.

I've never been into Final Fantasy as the concept of the series doesn't interest me much. With all the hype of Final Fantasy 7 (not using roman numerals) I'd like to see his perspective on that one as well. Seeing as how most people I talk to say it's the BEST GAME EVAR, I'd like to see someone with a brain point out why it isn't.

I agree. I don't hate FFVII or anything, but I am a bit sick of people saying it's literally the best game ever made when there are so many things obviously wrong with it. I kinda think it would take a Yahtzee review to finally knock some common sense into some of these people. (And that was going to sound like a flame no matter how I worded it, so whatever.)

He'll never do it, of course, but I can still dream.

 

[CyanLink]

Whoever said FFXIII <--(seriously this is getting ridiculous) Is either joking or extremely thick. I had my reserves the moment I heard about the new combat system.

 

[blalien]

I'm getting a slight hunch that Yahtzee is not a fan of Vanille.

 

[diddykonger]

all the characters are annoying as heck in this precise order starting with the most: Snow, Hope, Lightning, Fang, Vanielle, Sazh

 

[Proteus214]

Oh

my

GOD!

He actually reviewed it! I didn't think that would happen.

And yup, sounds about accurate for the first five hours.

 

[JenXXXJen]

Ha, that was hilarious. Especially the bit about Hope pulling a boomerang out of his arse. It's true.

Have to say though, Vanille being completely 'out there' is the main reason I like her.

 

[Danpascooch]

Woah! for Unskippable they pretend they are going to do FF13 for April Fools. Yahtzee, the JRPG hater, actually DOES do FF13. As an April Fools WTF moment, Yahtzee wins, lol.

 

[Nosaj Irenicus]

Oh my god, I haven't loved Yahtzee this much since the Portal review.

 

[wooty]

Liked the review there, seemed to hit on the things I too found a bit irritating in the game, but I actually liked it....sort of...I guess

 

[Mirroga]

I haven't played Chrono Cross because, you know, PAL, but with my newly acquired PS1, and also being a fan of Chrono Trigger, it will be one of the first I buy when I chip my console (yeah I know I could just download it, but I like actually having the real disc)

I made a mistake here my friend. The one I considered as the best JRPG story is indeed Chrono Trigger. I always mistake Cross and Trigger. At least you know what I consider as a very immersive or entertaining JRPG plot. It may just be taking over the world for bad guys, but the different timelines made it very memorable.