Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

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Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
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Hmmm, I have no major problems with the game. The lead in isn't all that bad in context.

I think the problem is that Yahtzee has a very limited skill set, all those menus, stats, target selection, abillity selection, gear customization, and other aspects are why I like RPGs. Granted I generally tend to prefer WRPGs, but JRPGs are far from being bad at it.

Now, he did have some very valid complaints about pacing, and the fact that the game was ridiculously linear. But other than that he seemed to be involved in a stereotypical JRPG hate rant. Just because he admits his bias does not fully excuse him in this case.

I doubt it will happen but I would argue that as Final Fantasy XIII is intended as a long term time investment, and was intended as one, The Escapist should have him finish it and request a more professional review. Oh granted, he'll probably still hate it, but I'd like to hear more about Final Fantasy XIII specifically and less about his opinion on a given genere (which basically comes down to immediate gratification twitchy finger games being good, providing they fall solidly into a moderate difficulty range, and RPGs and anything turn or stat based being bad).
 

tobyornottoby

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Jan 2, 2008
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About Vanille:

Well yeah she actually is from space, or rather -she- is from the resident earth and the others are from space =)
 

CK76

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Sep 25, 2009
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PessimistOwl said:
Toasty Virus said:
I really tried to enjoy this game, I loved all the other Final Fantasy's(Even 8) but this just didnt do it for me

Although Sahz made the bits I played worth it =D
Completely agree. The only character that I gave half a shit about was Sazh. The rest of the characters were half assed at best.
I kept forgetting his name so I just came to call him "Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon".
 

k-ossuburb

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Jul 31, 2009
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Belladonnah said:
WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO VANILLE YOU MISERABLE TWAT I HOPE YOU DIE OF SQUIRREL AIDS!
Someone's taking things a little too seriously. Also, who/what the hell is "Vanille"?

OT: had to watch this just because it ripped on Final Fantasy. I had a friend in college who was gah-gah over it and would never listen to my reasons for hating the game. Not only that, she wouldn't even bother to try out something different; it was FF or nothing, which was a shame.

Oh wait, she also liked Kingdom Hearts. Pfft, like there's a difference.

Edit: never mind, I just saw who she was; the "kooky" character. In that case what exactly did he do to her? She barely played a part in it other than being a moron, which is probably accurate.
 

geldonyetich

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Aug 2, 2006
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Oh, my, I knew when Yahtzee was going to Interview Final Fantasy XIII that it was going to be awesome because he's repeatedly expressed he hates JRPGs. This review did reveal it's more that he hates what JRPGs have become, but it nonetheless was little more than exposition for Yahtzee's discontent.

Plus, this comment thread is positively exploding. The review's only been out 2 hours and we're up to 350+ replies now.
 

Jennacide

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Dec 6, 2007
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So happy to see someone else bash on the FF series for the same reason I've come to hate them lately, the belief that spectacle is more important than everything else.
 

tomhaigh7

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Mar 23, 2010
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well alex, i have no idea but you should be doing some homework and also Final Fantasy is a good game I played it twice
 

mumakurau

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Sep 3, 2009
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I'm about 10 hours in on my friends copy and I'm STILL waiting for the game to get good.

EDIT: Final Fantasy 6 is freakin' boss.
 

MatsVS

Tea & Grief
Nov 9, 2009
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Therumancer said:
Now, he did have some very valid complaints about pacing, and the fact that the game was ridiculously linear.
Actually, that's not even nearly a valid complaint, seeing as linearity is a design choice. Not necessarily a choice you need to agree with, but a choice none the less. Reading just a single review of this game would also inform you of said linearity, thus rendering all ensuing complaints void of validity. It is akin to complaining of too much driving in a racing game, as in stupid. Really, really stupid.
 

Grampy_bone

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Mar 12, 2008
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Ah ha! Well this finally confirms my suspicions that Yahtzee is an old-school fanboy who hates everything after his chosen installment in the series; i.e. the exact same as every other forum dwelling internet twat. But at least it means he wasn't complaining about games he didn't actually play.

His criticisms about FF13 are entirely fair however. You shouldn't have to wait 10-20 hours for your entertainment product to become fun.
 

PessimistOwl

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Jan 19, 2010
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blalien said:
I'm getting a slight hunch that Yahtzee is not a fan of Vanille.
OH you must of fallen asleep for that three billionth's of a second where he said "And I especially love Vanille the best, she made the entire game worth it!", at least I thought I heard it....
 

Rayansaki

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May 5, 2009
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k-ossuburb said:
Belladonnah said:
WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO VANILLE YOU MISERABLE TWAT I HOPE YOU DIE OF SQUIRREL AIDS!
Someone's taking things a little too seriously. Also, who/what the hell is "Vanille"?

OT: had to watch this just because it ripped on Final Fantasy. I had a friend in college who was gah-gah over it and would never listen to my reasons for hating the game. Not only that, she wouldn't even bother to try out something different; it was FF or nothing, which was a shame.

Oh wait, she also liked Kingdom Hearts. Pfft, like there's a difference.

Edit: never mind, I just saw who she was; the "kooky" character. In that case what exactly did he do to her? She barely played a part in it other than being a moron, which is probably accurate.
It was a joke:X Vanille is the character he mutilated in the end of the episode during the credits.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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Aww...The combat picks up in hour 7. When paradigms become really key because they split you into groups of 2 for extended periods.
 

Samurai Goomba

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Oct 7, 2008
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dochmbi said:
If you took Yahtzee's reviews seriously, you would play one game every 5 years.
Actually there are a lot of games he likes or kinda likes, but they don't get nearly as much attention from either himself or the Yahtzee fans as the ones he despises.

Somebody else mentioned that Yahtzee's complaints about FFXIII seem to be largely issues with JRPG cliches, and therefore his opinion is irrelevant or some such. I don't profess to know anything about that the man, but I'd like to address that here anyway:

If a game series does nothing to address the inherent flaws within its own genre and continually reuses the same ideas to its own detriment, most of the problems with said game will be of a highly unoriginal nature. For example, an FPS shooter series that keeps ripping off the Aliens/Star Wars franchises at every turn, with every installment and never stops doing this will always have the same complaints leveled at its story. This does not mean the complaints become worthless after the 500th time because they are now "cliche."

Besides, JRPGs vary wildly in gameplay and story. Persona 3 adheres to some anime cliches but purges some of the most offensive of the typical JRPG problems. Persona 4 fixed still more issues. And let's not forget the JRPG Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter, which was a survival RPG that took place entirely underground and favored the RE4 approach to inventory management.

Folks can like whatever they want, I'm just saying a "cliche" objection to a problem which tends to plague certain game genres can't be brushed off simply because it has been heard before.