Zero Punctuation: Gears of War 3

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CriticalQuit

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pandasaw said:
But what Yahtzee did not mention was that this game is awesome!
That's because this game bored him half to death.

I don't think he's found a game "awesome" since either InFamous 2, or back in Saints Row 2.
 

JSRT

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Caramel Frappe said:
I've seen a bit of gameplay on Gears of War 3. It's nothing special to me, and they added even more brown then the last one (since I played Gears of War 2 with some memory to it) thus think they just wanted it to suit the main plot about the World going to blow up.

Wouldn't that mean the Locus would also be in danger and the whole series with the war was a waste of time? Now I am confused...
They added even more Brown?

Not only does Gear 3 have as much color in it as Uncharted, the lighting in the game especially on act 5 is a sight to behold. It was amazing what Epic achieved on 6 year old hardware.

One of the new Gears maps:

This look like they "added more brown" to you? (Also where in Gears 3 was the planet going to "blow up"? I must not have gotten to that part.) If you are going to shit on a game at least have a valid argument people
 

Gidiel167

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i honestly have to say, if you can't remember the previous game, you have horrible memory.
 

SnakeoilSage

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Alright! Gears of War 3, finally! I'm so psyched. This means the series is over now and we can go back to innovating shooters instead of dragging them through the mud, right?
 

Paragon Fury

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1: Exploding planet? Where did you pull that out of? I think even someone who was 1-4th conscious would've picked up that it was more about people being worried about going extinct because of the Locust and Lambent, not the planet blowing up.

2: Marcus had a bad childhood. He doesn't do emotion well. Get over it. You wouldn't do emotions other than gruff and anger well if your mother died, your dad was never around and you spent pretty much your entire existence fighting one war or another.

3: Brown? Is your TV broken? Sure there are a few parts such as the Trench fights that were all brown, but what color were they supposed to be? Pink? And did you have your eyes closed for the entire last level or something, with all the vibrant greens and blues and golds and such?

4: Anya (the blond) was in both of the last games. Prescott was in Gears 2. The other characters like same and Jace are from the books and comics, most of which are surprisingly well written and interesting. They appear in Gears 3 for the same thing that MovieBob praised Captain America for; EPIC figures if you care enough about a game's story to get perturbed over a new character appearing you weren't familiar with you probably read or saw all the other material for said franchise and therefore understand who they are and where they came from.

5: What is the fucking obsession with medkits and carrying 8 fucking weapons at a time? Medkits aren't fun and slow down gameplay, and Doom, Sam, Duke, Unreal and Quake are the only places where having that many weapons really made sense or was fun.
 

Osaka117

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There was plenty of color in Gears 3 (at leased compared to the first 2) I don't think he was paying attention...well he did admit to falling asleep while playing so I guess that makes sense then.
 

JSRT

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SnakeoilSage said:
Alright! Gears of War 3, finally! I'm so psyched. This means the series is over now and we can go back to innovating shooters instead of dragging them through the mud, right?
It's not Gears fault that a bunch of shooters copied it instead of doing their own thing, as much as it wasn't Halo or COD's faults either. Gears was quite innovative when it came out, which is why other shooters ( Army of Two, Uncharted) copied gameplay mechanics from it to begin with.
 

Calcium

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Had to watch the video twice to make sure: but it did sound like he was insinuating at a couple of points that the game was too 'brown'. I wonder if he found the game so boring that he misremembered it, or if he's just saying certain things in this review to get a larger reaction in the comments.

Though thinking about it, he's complained previously about the 'brightly coloured bloom' of Halo so meh.
 

Penguin_Factory

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I don't mind that Gears of War is stupid and idiotic, I just wish Epic were aware of it. With the sole exception of that bit in Gears of War 2 (you know the one I'm talking about), the games' attempts at taking the story seriously are laughable. Any scene that features Marcus Fenix is doomed to unintentional self-parody due to how cartoonish he is. It's like if someone made a word-for-word remake of Saving Private Ryan but replaced all the characters with the cast of Spawn.

Actually speaking of GoW 2, instead of this game ending with the humans gazing wistfully into the sunset having just heroically fought against impossible odds to save humanity despite losing many friends and comrades on the way (I haven't actually played the game, but I'd bet substantial amounts of money that's how it ends), what if Dom was the main character and his search for his wife was the entire point of the trilogy? And it ended at That Scene from the second game? No conclusion to the war, no final boss, just that scene. That would have been awesome.
 

Macrobstar

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JSRT said:
SnakeoilSage said:
Alright! Gears of War 3, finally! I'm so psyched. This means the series is over now and we can go back to innovating shooters instead of dragging them through the mud, right?
It's not Gears fault that a bunch of shooters copied it instead of doing their own thing, as much as it wasn't Halo or COD's faults either. Gears was quite innovative when it came out, which is why other shooters ( Army of Two, Uncharted) copied gameplay mechanics from it to begin with.
How is uncharted similar to gears? The majority of he game is spent platforming and puzzling
 

Macrobstar

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sravankb said:
"If I had said that the plot was good, none of you would say that it doesn't matter"

I cannot be the only one who thinks this was a stupid fucking argument. How does it make sense?

If the plot was good, then we would say that it matters, dumbass. No one would say that it doesn't. The only difference being that people would say that the plot and the gameplay were great.

They're not mutually exclusive, dude. Man, I could've sworn Yahtzee was smarter than this, but oh well.
No gears fans say the plot doesn't matter but if he said the plot was good they wouldn't be saying that, simple yeh?
 

JSRT

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Penguin_Factory said:
I don't mind that Gears of War is stupid and idiotic, I just wish Epic were aware of it. With the sole exception of that bit in Gears of War 2 (you know the one I'm talking about), the games' attempts at taking the story seriously are laughable. Any scene that features Marcus Fenix is doomed to unintentional self-parody due to how cartoonish he is. It's like if someone made a word-for-word remake of Saving Private Ryan but replaced all the characters with the cast of Spawn.

Actually speaking of GoW 2, instead of this game ending with the humans gazing wistfully into the sunset having just heroically fought against impossible odds to save humanity despite losing many friends and comrades on the way (I haven't actually played the game, but I'd bet substantial amounts of money that's how it ends), what if Dom was the main character and his search for his wife was the entire point of the trilogy? And it ended at That Scene from the second game? No conclusion to the war, no final boss, just that scene. That would have been awesome.
I disagree the games ending was just fine. They lost most of their friends and watched his father die, the Locusts are dead, the government no longer exists, and the future is uncertain. It was a great ending. As for the story "taking it self too seriously" i thought they did good in comparison to the way it was handled in prievous Gear games. And while i did not "cry" at the death scene, i was like "damn" ( especially when that theme kicked in) Also people seem to forget that fans demanded that the Gears story be focused on more in the sequels, i was just fine the way it was tbh. If you want to talk about a story that takes itself way to seriously to the point of self parody, lets look at God of War 3. Wosrt that Gears 3 in that respect.
 

Sassafrass

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Caramel Frappe said:
I've seen a bit of gameplay on Gears of War 3. It's nothing special to me, and they added even more brown then the last one (since I played Gears of War 2 with some memory to it) thus think they just wanted it to suit the main plot about the World going to blow up.

Wouldn't that mean the Locus would also be in danger and the whole series with the war was a waste of time? Now I am confused...
How far did you get into Gears 2, just out of interest? And did you play in on your console or at a friends? Just curious, is all.

OT: Funny video. Still gonna get it when I have some cash though.
 

Torrasque

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Eh. The multiplayer is enjoyable sometimes, but I more or less bought it and play it because a friend of mine does.
Yet once MW3 and Skyrim come out, I'll pretty much forget this game even exists.
Oh well.
I don't disagree with anything Yahtzee says, it just sucks that I still bloody bought this game.