Zero Punctuation: Heavy Rain

[Psychophante]

Silly me, thought he may actually like this game. Having said that, he wasn't as scathing as he has been in the past.
Even though I agree with most of the things he said, I bloody love Heavy Rain.

 

[Radu889]

The same killer? Wow. That's a major flaw. I mean even Chaos Rising had different traitors each time.

 

[Silent Biohazard Solid]

While Heavy Rain is my third favorite game on the PS3... And while I do agree with the fact that there should've been different killers in it...
The biggest issue I have with this review is.... JERKING OFF A CASTRATED DOG??? Wow! Wow! Why did that shock me more than anything he's ever said?

 

[historybuff]

Thank you! I was beginning to feel like I was the only one who wasn't overly impressed.

 

[NeutralDrow]

I guess this is the closest Yahtzee will get to reviewing a visual novel...so I can breathe easier now.

That said, even though I'm capable of finding the stuff he complained about to not be banal, and it does come with a recommendation later, I think I'll skip this game. Partly because I don't have a console to run it, but mostly because mystery isn't my genre.

 

[squid5580]

Wow, that was... concise. So I take it this game is not worth buying a PS3 for, not that I could afford it anyway.

No man it is worth a rental at best.

 

[duchaked]

haha looks like Yahtzee had a lotta fun with this one...

 

[Maddudeguy]

Amazingly funny peice of review there as usual sir

 

[David Bray]

Nice one man.
It's not a game if you're not playing it. It might be good, like Hotel Dusk was, but if all i am doing is clicking to a beat i'm not playing a video game

 

[Meghiddo]

Nice one man.
It's not a game if you're not playing it. It might be good, like Hotel Dusk was, but if all i am doing is clicking to a beat i'm not playing a video game

Unless your playing Parappa!

 

[BlueHighwind]

I'm so glad that finally somebody out there has spoken out for us poor castrated dog masturbaters. We have suffered for so long in silence. Nobody knows our pain. But finally, somebody had to courage to speak for our plight. Thank you, Yahtzee. Thank you.

 

[The Brewin]

I think its harsh to call heavy rain for 'not being a game'. Just because it defies most conventional playing methods shouldn't make it not a game, by that logic the original Donkey Kong isn't a game because it plays nothing like Pong. Its interactive, the whole basis of a game. Despite its flaws its the most immersive and engaging game i've played in the passed few years

 

[dreadedcandiru99]

So Yahtzee cries for his immersion in video games, then finds something else to cry about once he gets it?

He's a critic. That's his job.

Besides, it was nice of them to include the "immersion" part, but what seems to have bothered Yahtzee is that they took out the "game" part.

 

[Slimyjim666]

highly doubt he'll play FF XIII because it's an jRPG, and he should have God of War 3 done next week since I finished it in 7 hours, I don't know where the creators got at least 10 hours from, I guess for people that stop playing and forget what they were doing? But just a little warning for you Yahtzee the controls are a little glitchy at some points, and the cinematics are done a little differently, I personally liked the coinematics in the first two better. But overall the story-line is solid and the whole gameplay is so much fun to play!!!!

 

[mjc0961]

WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Was there ever any doubt that that's all the game was in the first place?

And I agree completely with this review. It's decent once it gets going, but holy hell it takes forever to get there. Games really need to stop with these painfully slow starts already. It's getting old hearing about how "this new game is good, but you'll have to sit through a few hours of trash to get to the fun part." This is not good game design. Please, stop.

 

[David Bray]

Nice one man.
It's not a game if you're not playing it. It might be good, like Hotel Dusk was, but if all i am doing is clicking to a beat i'm not playing a video game

Unless your playing Parappa!

Or Guitar hero, but that's a whole new kettle of fish

 

[CallyA]

Speaking of games that have a mystery plot that's the same every game, when are you going to review Silent Hill: Shattered Memories?

 

[zorgonstealth]

I hate how games these days feel like they have to shoehorn in a generic movie plot "son goes missing... Investigate" real original there. The beaty of games is that it can tell a story without using words, the pace is set by the gamer. This game however, appears to use the blandest, straight to DVD storyline in order to fill in the QTE- based game idea, without bothering to come up with their own unique one.

 

[sketchesofpayne]

Dear lord! The metaphors!

 

[Arkhangelsk]

I think that alternate endings would mess up the game. Think like this, the game's basis is on the killer, the build-up is how you find out. Despite how you would do it, it would be the same way. The killer is the killer. If the killer comes up later in the game, sure, but if it starts that way, and you have no influence, it must stay the same. You can't stop what's already happened.