25 Things a Perfect Guy Would Do

[Golden Gryphon]

As a girl and having had boyfriends:

1. Know the right thing to say when you had a hard day at work.

Possibly I could manage that. Probably only by accident though.

2. Try to secretly play your Xbox, but you always notice.

Fuck secretly. You'd be lucky if I asked permission.

3. Cheer for you in a fight, but not berate you when you lose.

'How dare you lose? You obviously don't really love me.' Honestly, who tells someone off for losing a fight?

4. Give you the credit card during shopping.

No. I may occasionally buy things for you but I will not let you wantonly spend my money.

5. Come up in front of you and put her arms around you.

Hugs? Yes, I can do hugs but if you sneak up behind me you may end up regretting it.

6. Play with your ba- muscles.

Gross. Also, do not touch my hair.

7. Her hands always find your-

I can't think of anything my hand would always find. Not in normal circumstances anyway.

8. Be rational when she really wants something.

I am always rational. If I'm feeling playful I might act cute but I won't use it to get things and I wouldn't be particularly impressed with any guy who tried to use it that way.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.

Probably but I tend to get bored after a few minutes.

10. Dance with you, even if she dances better.

No. And I don't.

11. Never run out of love.

Sure, I'll promise something I have no control over.

12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.

I know how to be serious.

13. Realize she wasting too much money on Vogue magazines.

Replace that with books and the answer would be... 'fuck off'. I won't spend yours but I will do as I like with my money.

14. Not take so damn long getting ready.

I rarely wear makeup or wear my hair in anything other than a ponytail so that one is easy.

15. Call the cops when you hit her and it actually hurts.

This assumes I'll let you get away with hitting me as long as it doesn't hurt. That is a false assumption.

16. Smile a lot.

Of course. I'll happily contort my face when you demand it.

17. Plans a romantic date full things you both like.

Probably not, laziness you know.

18. Appreciate you.

Umm, sure?

19. Help others out.

I fail to see how that affects my quality as a girlfriend.

20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for the day.

No. Long distance sucks so there would be no relationship.

21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when her friends are watching.

Public displays of affection embarrass me. You'll be lucky with a hug.

22. Sing, if she wants to.

No. If I really care about you I will spare you that. I expect you to do me the same courtesy.

23. Have a creative sense of humor.

Not a problem. Hopefully you aren't too squeamish.

24. Stare at you, but not too much.

That's creepy.

25. Make breakfast-in-bed for no reason.

Again, laziness prevents this from ever happening.

26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because she loves you that much to quit it.

I do none of those things and I wouldn't go out with someone with a habit that annoyed me.

I am not a good girlfriend.

 

[Death_Korps_Kommissar]

And guys on The Escapist wonder why they don't get layed. This list is what most guys actually DO in successful relationships. It isn't fiction, or bullshit, its normal.

Oh snap, he got you there XD

 

[Zhalath]

I must admit, this sounds pretty creepy at times. "His hands will always find you"? "Stare at you"? "Call you for no reason"? "Secretly smell your hair"?

Is #26 "carve an idol to you out of your favorite tree, and worship you as a deity"?

 

[un533n]

This is just the shit we're (guys) are supposed to do, just pretend guys.. it's not that hard.

 

[Captain Picard]

I find this list to be demeaning and degreading to both sexes. Of course it's great (and necessary for a long term relationship) to be appreciated, but this is way beyond "too far". The girl who made this list needs to grow up, no self respecting guy would conform to these criteria.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

what the hell is with the staring things
"....................o_o..........."
"uhhh what is it?"
"*breaths heavily* [HEADING=2]0_0[/HEADING]"
"is....is.......there something on me?"

*increasing tempo with heavy wolf like breathing* [HEADING=1]0_0 let me play with your hair[/HEADING]

Genius.

and about the whole remote-control thing, What will she exactly do with the remote?

it is to wonder, we must study this, QUICK TO THE LAB!

 

[Guitar Gamer]

what the hell is with the staring things
"....................o_o..........."
"uhhh what is it?"
"*breaths heavily* [HEADING=2]0_0[/HEADING]"
"is....is.......there something on me?"

*increasing tempo with heavy wolf like breathing* [HEADING=1]0_0 let me play with your hair[/HEADING]

GG?
Thank you.
That made me laugh hard enough to knock my wireless mouse off the table.

a great way to come home eh? , from a long week of driving in the nevada desert

 

[chunkydude84]

I still have trouble believing this isn't a joke. Please tell me woman don't really have these kind of expectations for men.

 

[Disaster Button]

Sounds like something written by the Fatty Twilight author.

"15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts. "

>.<

 

[joshthor]

most of em arent too bad. i do about....18-19 of em. the only one extremely rediculous is the driving 5 hours for 1 hour. hell no. maybe if i hadnt of seen her in a month but otherwise no.

 

[lolmynamewastaken]

hang themselves

 

[historybuff]

I think you guys are taking this a little too seriously. Most women know that guys are never going to do those things. And what a "perfect man" is is different to every woman.


Mostly, I just don't want a guy who blames everything I say that he doesn't like on PMS. But then, I like mature men, not college frat boys. Mature men know they can't just expect sex for nothing. We expect something in return.

 

[Jedoro]

-snip-

*fishes ring out of his pocket while playing CoD4* You wanna get hitched?

 

[Mr. Fahrenheit]

Spoiler: 25 Things a Perfect Woman Would Do

Make me 25 sandwiches.

 

[joshthor]

Spoiler: 25 Things a Perfect Woman Would Do

Make me 25 sandwiches.

LOL thats awesome

 

[similar.squirrel]

I being sarcastic.
I'm far too awkward to dance, and I sort of embarrassed a girl before by..not dancing..
Bitter memories.

FYI: only 9% of the message is portrayed in text. Seeing as how no one knows each other to know when people are being sarcastic it would be nice to get a "/sarcasm".

My bad. I should probably start doing that. Or stop being sarcastic.

 

[Gerazzi]

well...
I'm going to file this thread under "crap I don't care about".
Why does it matter if someone has sick, unrealistic fantasies?

 

[Baby Tea]

Why does it matter if someone has sick, unrealistic fantasies?

Uhh, I do 22 of those for my wife.
I don't think it's unrealistic at all.

 

[Gerazzi]

Why does it matter if someone has sick, unrealistic fantasies?

Uhh, I do 22 of those for my wife.
I don't think it's unrealistic at all.

Oh.
Well, to be fair I do most of these things without a girlfriend.

But calling for no reason is something that will be forever annoying to me.