9 Signs He's a Keeper. WTF?

[Treblaine]

I remember seeing this a while ago and it is legendary in its retardation.

I mean if you reversed the gender roles it would be like a man saying:

"I expect my woman to put ME first, LAP UP my contageous diseases and when I find a woman like that I will "Keep" her. That's right, she is property I will OWN! HA HA HA HA!"

#1 "A good woman will be organised, she will have a lot of housework and chores to do and no amount of excuses will spare her from my Wrath. I am MAN, Superior Gender!"

#2 "Only accept a woman who will know their place, i.e. value the MAN before their own measly self. Remember she will not have ANYTHING until she has offered some to your first, you are a god in your home and she is your minion."

#3 "She has never any excuse for intimacy, she will suffer your infectious diseases and never refuse sex. It is a man's right to get sex from his wife whenever he likes!"

#4 & 5 "She will entertain my family and friends, what else is wife good for. And I shall not give a damn about any of her friends if I even allow her to have any at ALL!"

#6 & 7 "Consider your woman worthless if she does not worship you and praise your every achievement. Actually, cheerleader is a good word, have her dress up as a cheerleader. No need to praise her achievement if she is capable any being a useless woman.

#8 "She must have no personal emotions of her own, if you are happy then regardless of her own independent mind she should be happy too."

#9 "err," (this one doesn't make any sense at all, there is no opposite gender equivalent)

these are NOT my opinion but merely the list interpreted with reversed genders to illustrate just how freaking out of touch and ludicrous this list of "ideal features" is.

 

[Julianking93]

Women do look for a lot of those qualities, but if you have those qualities you'll get our good qualities back in return.

Like putting your girl first. I honestly can't STRESS how important this can be in a relationship. I put my boyfriend first and he puts me first, so no one feels underappreciated or not loved. If you don't put your girlfriend first, she'll probably end up thinking that you don't care about her. Trust me, it's a quick way ruin a serious relationship.


Being a family man's important too, because this will let your girlfriend (serious girlfriend) know that you'll be able to have a family and be good day. It's also good to try to fit in with your girlfriend's family so that she knows you really love her and want to try to be a part of the family.

And yeah, when your girlfriend's sick, you should take care of her. I take care of my boyfriend when he's sick and he does the same for me. It's actually very sweet and you can show a lot of love by just heating up some Campbell's soup and bringing it to your sick beloved.

And be happy when your girlfriend's happy. Smiles are contagious.

All the other stuff on that list is "meh".
But it can also apply to women too. As a woman, I think we should all do that same things for our boyfriends.

1. Very true. You should put [b/]each other[/b] first. This dumbass article says nothing about how the woman should put the man first, its all about [b/]him[/b] changing for you.

2. Also true. Its good to show that you are capable of starting a family and "settling down" as they say it. This is probably the only thing in the article I agree with but it still should come from both parties, not just the man and assume that the woman automatically does these things.

3. Once again, true. But also once again, do this for each other. And yes, its good to be on the same level as your partner, meaning be happy for them when they are and be happy when they are sad to make them feel better, once again, coming from both parties.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Hey! I'm no fantasy!! Although, I wouldn't call a girl's mom to tell her about the girl's promotion before she can; I'd figure she'd want to tell her about that.
However if those are the things the are considered "the ideal"? Why am I still lonely? Besides the whole lack of social skills thing.

 

[Distorted Stu]

Anyway, what do you guys think? Personally, these articles on relationships are all the same and they always list a fantasy boyfriend that will never exist.

Cosmopolitan has been doing things like this for years. In the push to equality now men are regarded as pieces of meat (or rather plastic) as well.

Just a bit depressing that we have to sink to the lowest level of definitions.

I agree, whenever i read one of my mam's or girlfriend's women magazines, it always have such negative sterotypes and opinions towards men, forcing us into the bad books of nearly all women as pigs and uncaring. The same goes for the first few seasons of Sex and the city, oh how much i raged at the negative situations they link men with!

 

[Labyrinth]

Dude just using the phrase. I love woman. I'm completly against sexism. But we all know this sterotype how women like men who act like women and are more open etc. I do prize my male behaviour, but it never hurts to have a soft spot.

Fair enough. To be perfectly honest that phrase makes me facepalm in the first place because of what it implies.

 

[Jedamethis]

More reasonable than some lists...

 

[EchetusXe]

#1 "He has his act together." I would like to think most guys pass that criteria.
#2 "He puts you first." He is going to get taken advantage of in life.
#3 "He's not afraid of your germs." Its guys like that are spreading disease.
#4 "He's a family man." Quit knocking around with married men you hussie.
#5 "He makes time for your friends."Ok well FUCK THAT.
#6 "He's your biggest cheerleader." 'When your guy calls your mom to tell her about your promotion before you do, that should tell you something.' Yeah, tells you hes a fucking nut. He is probably banging your mom too.
#7 "He remembers the little things." Oooooh he has a working memory, BIG advantage there sister.
#8 "He's happy when you're happy." 'This is the guy who "goes to a chick flick with you on Friday night rather than an action film -- not because he actually wants to' Yeah, free will is really overrated these days. God forbid you date a guy with similar interests as you.
#9 "He makes you the best you can be." I'm speechless.

For gods sake, all of those nine things accurately describe a stalker, not a perfect boyfriend.

 

[Xvito]

This is the guy who "goes to a chick flick with you on Friday night rather than an action film -- not because he actually wants to, but because it makes you happy... And because he wants to get in your pants."

I really couldn't resist...

Although, I really can't see what's so weird about any of those... Except the first one...!? I mean, even if your partners a screw-up, I don't think that it should matter, if you like him/her.

 

[Xvito]

I thought this was a lovecraft thread.

How to tell if your boyfriend is chulthu

Haha, Keeper... Clever.

Have a cookie [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b4/Choco_chip_cookie.png].

 

[SimuLord]

"Women are like cars and beer. You want to be happy? Don't buy American."

Why stop the analogy at cars and beer?

Because brevity is the soul of wit (which is why I love Twitter.)

 

[JaredXE]

The only women who pay attention to these crappy fictional articles are ones who never actually interact with men and still dream of a prince to ride up on a white horse and save them from their Visa bills.

Yeah, the paying attention, meeting the friends, comforting when they are sick or stressed.....that's obvious. It's what any guy who cares about someone would do. But that steak bit? Screw that. My response to that is: "I just got off of a 12 hour shift at the warehouse. What did YOU do today?" and then take the biggest piece.

Oh, and that "He's happy when your happy" thing. Yeah, I would love to have my girlfriend be happy all the time, makes my life a little bit easier. But that goes both ways. I have feelings too, and when I'm upset, maybe I want HER to focus on me for a change.

 

[pdgeorge]

... how is any of this stuff 'keeper material'?

And why does Yahoo need to tell YOU that your boyfriend is a keeper or not? WTF?

Does that mean a man is only good if he follows those rules, if you don't likethose rules, your a bad girlfriend? I THINK SO!

I treat my girlfriend like crap sometimes, I know it. I don't like to, it's not my intention, however it's just a side effect of staying together alot.
The basic facts:
I'm brutally honest with her. If she is looking fat in something, I tell her. Then I hug her and tell her I love her anyway because it's the truth. She preffers it like that because if I'm lieing about how I think she looks, do I really think she looks good? do I really love her? am I any different from all the other wankers out there who say what they are 'supposed' to say?
If I'm angry at her, I tell her, if I'm pissed off, I tell her, if I'm *whatever* I tell her. It's only fair because I put up with her bitching when she wants to.
I damn well expect her if/when we get married to cook for me, clean for me and only get a job on the side if it doesn't cause too much problems with the kids. Think that sounds sexist? Why should I be the one that has to go out and work and why can't she? Heres a fun thought... Why can't *I* have the babies instead of her? Don't think about that seriously, it's not.
Anyway, I only expect that because thats her personal goals. Become a stay at home mum.

 

[Charley]

"Women are like cars and beer. You want to be happy? Don't buy American."

Why stop the analogy at cars and beer?

Because brevity is the soul of wit (which is why I love Twitter.)

Too. Shay.

 

[MoganFreeman]

Confidence, fidelity, consideration. Pick two. Because, 99% percent of the time, that is what you get from men.

 

[Julianking93]

Confidence, fidelity, consideration. Pick two. Because, 99% percent of the time, that is what you get from men.

Huh, I've got all those...

 

[Susan Arendt]

I would be freaked the hell out if my fella called my mother...well, about anything, really, but especially about something like a promotion. Just plain weird.

If you only read the headlines of each of the nine points, then it's a solid enough starting point. And honestly, you can switch the genders -- that's how a girl should treat her guy, too.

 

[MoganFreeman]

Confidence, fidelity, consideration. Pick two. Because, 99% percent of the time, that is what you get from men.

Huh, I've got all those...

And the only rule with no exception is everyone considers himself the exception to the rule.

 

[MagnetoHydroDynamics]

I thought this was a lovecraft thread.

How to tell if your boyfriend is chulthu

That made my evening.

OT: This article smells of Twilight.

 

[Fniff]

I thought this was a lovecraft thread.

How to tell if your boyfriend is chulthu

Haha, Keeper... Clever.

Have a cookie [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b4/Choco_chip_cookie.png].

1. He keeps driving you raving insane.