A 16 year old boy on teen sex.

[Sonofadiddly]

I suppose I'm rather torn on the issue, but here's my question to you; did you pull out? 'Cause if you just learn to control yourself long enough to pull out.. Everything will be fine.

The pulling out method is generally thought to be not very effective or reliable. I would suggest using a condom at least.

I for one love my birth control pills. They are amazing miracle tablets.

 

[Pennyy9]

No, and I'm going to be frank here. People who believe in something but don't articulate their ideas politely are really just not worth the two cents they put into any conversation. You make people look bad when you mindlessly blurt ideas.

That sounded really condescending. I love to mindlessly blurt out ideas. And when you do mindlessly blurt out ideas, you're only making yourself look bad. Anyone who looks at one idiot and says "I'm gonna use THAT guy as an example for an entire race/belief/whatever," is just as stupid. Anyway.. That is not a cat fight that I want to be a part of.

I suppose I'm rather torn on the issue, but here's my question to you; did you pull out? 'Cause if you just learn to control yourself long enough to pull out.. Everything will be fine. I know how safe it is and all that, and frankly, I lean more towards the "Do whatever you want, it's your life" belief, but, if you were to knock 'er up.. Well, at that age, it's not just your lives that are going to get screwed, it's your parents lives, as well.

In fact, I'd say it's more so your parents that are going to have a hard time. Because at your age, you are given what parents choose to give you. One of which is money, and the other is shelter. So if you did get her pregnant, you'd be taking care of baby with someone else's money, and in someone else's home. And children are a ridiculous time and money sink. It just seems a bit irresponsible.

Little icky fact. "Pre-cum" (thats the stuff before the white stuff) has more sperm in it than actual semen. Pulling out rarely works. And I didn't mean to seem condescending I just get really angry when someone undoes the hard work of others in their community.

 

[Mortons4ck]

Look into family history. My Father and Mother got married, and two months later my older brother was born. Girlfriend noticed her oldest brother was born six months after her parents got married and asked her mom about it, serious red faces were created, especially in a religious family. Hell, my grandmother was embarrassed when my mom pointed out her oldest brother was born only seven month's after her parent's got married. Point that out, they'll stop talking about waiting for the sanctity of marriage and actually have a serious conversation about sex. Or they'll pull a holier than though attitude, bring up immaculate conception, and send you to your room. People have had sex outside of marriage well before, and well after the idea of marriage was institutionalized. Call them out, laugh when they fluster because they're pissed at you for doing the same thing they did, and maybe have a decent conversation.

My grandpa always said: "The first one comes at anytime, it's the second one takes nine months."

OP: After reading through your wall of text, Pennyy9, only thing that came to my mind is that you dodged a serious bullet by not getting arrested and having to register as a sex-offender.
One thing youngsters don't seem to understand or appreciate is that because of one slight indiscretion in their teenage years, you'll be branded with a scarlet letter for the rest of their adult lives (Like Ricky Blackman [http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/02/11/oklahoma.teen.sex.offender/index.html]). Intimate relations between minors is (from a legal standpoint) Statutory rape. It is not something to be trifled with or taken lightly.

Do you not understand? This was my then-girlfriend. I trusted her explicitly. And her me, and don't you dare say otherwise. When I say things, I mean them. I knew she was clean.

Still, it might be a good idea to get checked out. It has nothing to do with trust, it has everything to do with staying safe and not endangering others. This is one of the things you will learn when you get older.

 

[CakeDragon]

I enjoyed reading your post, OP - not in that way; I just think you make a really good story-teller.

As for the sex thing, it took me 11 months with my boyfriend before I decided I was ready. I don't think religions should be so unforgiving over no-sex-before-marriage, after all, it is in our human nature to reproduce. It's bad that you slept unprotected but I think, that's part of the curiosity of sex and as long as you know what you're doing and keep under control, it's, well, at least better than just going at it (apologies for the mental image).

Remember kids, be safe!

 

[BarbaricGoose]

I suppose I'm rather torn on the issue, but here's my question to you; did you pull out? 'Cause if you just learn to control yourself long enough to pull out.. Everything will be fine.

The pulling out method is generally thought to be not very effective or reliable. I would suggest using a condom at least.

I for one love my birth control pills. They are amazing miracle tablets.

Ahahaha.. Yeah.. Just make an attempt to pull out. Forego everything else.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, there, but that's not at all what I meant. I meant, that, in addition to condoms and all that other muck, you should still do your best to pull out. So that even if the condom breaks, you're safe.

Little icky fact. "Pre-cum" (thats the stuff before the white stuff) has more sperm in it than actual semen. Pulling out rarely works. And I didn't mean to seem condescending I just get really angry when someone undoes the hard work of others in their community.

*Sigh*

See above. Thank you.

 

[Pennyy9]

Look into family history. My Father and Mother got married, and two months later my older brother was born. Girlfriend noticed her oldest brother was born six months after her parents got married and asked her mom about it, serious red faces were created, especially in a religious family. Hell, my grandmother was embarrassed when my mom pointed out her oldest brother was born only seven month's after her parent's got married. Point that out, they'll stop talking about waiting for the sanctity of marriage and actually have a serious conversation about sex. Or they'll pull a holier than though attitude, bring up immaculate conception, and send you to your room. People have had sex outside of marriage well before, and well after the idea of marriage was institutionalized. Call them out, laugh when they fluster because they're pissed at you for doing the same thing they did, and maybe have a decent conversation.

My grandpa always said: "The first one comes at anytime, it's the second one takes nine months."

OP: After reading through your wall of text, Pennyy9, only thing that came to my mind is that you dodged a serious bullet by not getting arrested and having to register as a sex-offender.
One thing youngsters don't seem to understand or appreciate is that because of one slight indiscretion in their teenage years, you'll be branded with a scarlet letter for the rest of their adult lives (Like Ricky Blackman [http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/02/11/oklahoma.teen.sex.offender/index.html]). Intimate relations between minors is (from a legal standpoint) Statutory rape. It is not something to be trifled with or taken lightly.

Do you not understand? This was my then-girlfriend. I trusted her explicitly. And her me, and don't you dare say otherwise. When I say things, I mean them. I knew she was clean.

Still, it might be a good idea to get checked out. It has nothing to do with trust, it has everything to do with staying safe and not endangering others. This is one of the things you will learn when you get older.

Friend, you can't take something like statutory rape this far out of context. In all definitions BUT legal, it was consensual. I should also mention she is half a year older than I, making me the non-offender. Unless the law has become sexist. *cough*

But in all seriousness, It wouldn't have been admissible in court, as to there being no witnesses apart from me and her, and purely filed under speculation.'




And whats more, she had been checked.

 

[Sonofadiddly]

I suppose I'm rather torn on the issue, but here's my question to you; did you pull out? 'Cause if you just learn to control yourself long enough to pull out.. Everything will be fine.

The pulling out method is generally thought to be not very effective or reliable. I would suggest using a condom at least.

I for one love my birth control pills. They are amazing miracle tablets.

Ahahaha.. Yeah.. Just make an attempt to pull out. Forego everything else.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, there, but that's not at all what I meant. I meant, that, in addition to condoms and all that other muck, you should still do your best to pull out. So that even if the condom breaks, you're safe.

I see. I did misunderstand. My bad.

 

[Mortons4ck]

Friend, you can't take something like statutory rape this far out of context. In all definitions BUT legal, it was consensual. I should also mention she is half a year older than I, making me the non-offender. Unless the law has become sexist. *cough*

But in all seriousness, It wouldn't have been admissible in court, as to there being no witnesses apart from me and her, and purely filed under speculation.'

And whats more, she had been checked.

Sir, I'm not trying to make any judgments against you. I'm just giving you the facts.

Legal context is unfortunately the only thing that matters to the authorities (consensual or not). And unfortunately, the law is sexist. If the trial were to go before a jury, given the stigma, there would have been a very good chance for a conviction. For cases like these, emotions over cool-heads prevail.

But I'm glad that she (and by extension you) have been given a clean bill of health.

 

[Pennyy9]

Friend, you can't take something like statutory rape this far out of context. In all definitions BUT legal, it was consensual. I should also mention she is half a year older than I, making me the non-offender. Unless the law has become sexist. *cough*

But in all seriousness, It wouldn't have been admissible in court, as to there being no witnesses apart from me and her, and purely filed under speculation.'

And whats more, she had been checked.

Sir, I'm not trying to make any judgments against you. I'm just giving you the facts.

Legal context is unfortunately the only thing that matters to the authorities (consensual or not). And unfortunately, the law is sexist. If the trial were to go before a jury, given the stigma, there would have been a very good chance for a conviction.

I don't think the state would press charges against me. And since the only two witnesses can plead the fifth, there is no case.

 

[Mortons4ck]

Friend, you can't take something like statutory rape this far out of context. In all definitions BUT legal, it was consensual. I should also mention she is half a year older than I, making me the non-offender. Unless the law has become sexist. *cough*

But in all seriousness, It wouldn't have been admissible in court, as to there being no witnesses apart from me and her, and purely filed under speculation.'

And whats more, she had been checked.

Sir, I'm not trying to make any judgments against you. I'm just giving you the facts.

Legal context is unfortunately the only thing that matters to the authorities (consensual or not). And unfortunately, the law is sexist. If the trial were to go before a jury, given the stigma, there would have been a very good chance for a conviction.

I don't think the state would press charges against me. And since the only two witnesses can plead the fifth, there is no case.

At any rate, I'm glad that it didn't happen to you. Sorry for going a little off-topic.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

To be honest, so long as you use contraception (I'm guessing you used the pill?) then I don't really see a problem with sex if you're mature, which you clearly are. If you use all possible contraception and you're son incredibly unlucky that she still gets pregnant, then you have to make a choice over abortion.

To be honest, worrying about the legal age is pointless (especially as at 16 you would be legal here), as it's almost completely unenforcable, there's a miniscule chance of getting caught.

 

[Pennyy9]

Friend, you can't take something like statutory rape this far out of context. In all definitions BUT legal, it was consensual. I should also mention she is half a year older than I, making me the non-offender. Unless the law has become sexist. *cough*

But in all seriousness, It wouldn't have been admissible in court, as to there being no witnesses apart from me and her, and purely filed under speculation.'

And whats more, she had been checked.

Sir, I'm not trying to make any judgments against you. I'm just giving you the facts.

Legal context is unfortunately the only thing that matters to the authorities (consensual or not). And unfortunately, the law is sexist. If the trial were to go before a jury, given the stigma, there would have been a very good chance for a conviction.

I don't think the state would press charges against me. And since the only two witnesses can plead the fifth, there is no case.

At any rate, I'm glad that it didn't happen to you.

Thank you, I have a fear if I, by whatever random chance, WAS convicted, a large flux of the inmates in juvy would suddenly become objectivist working-class-men.

 

[Crenelate]

On reading through all of this thread, there's one thing I'd really like to comment on: the idea that having sex when you're a teenager is bad because you wouldn't be able to support a child is the girl got pregnant. While this is true, chances are you wouldn't be financially stable enough to support a child at 21, or maybe even 25 in the current climate. So no one should have sex before they have a good job? Another thing is people acting like 16 year olds having sex is a travesty because they're too young - people have sex when they're 12 - get mad about that first.

I first had sex when I was 16, with my first boyfriend who I really liked, and he really liked me. It was a week into the relationship (but there had been a lot of stuff going on before). While I wish I had waited longer, it was something that had just happened. I was so happy I was finally close to someone that cared about me, it seemed right to be closer still. Unfortunately, the relationship didn't go very well (probably overshadowed by the fact I was subconsciously in love with someone else).
At times I wish I could turn back the clock, and not have been in that first relationship, but even though there was a lot of heartache and essentially wasted time, it taught me a lot of things. It had been the first time for both of us, which I think is important, so we were both learning together. Also, I learnt what not to do in a relationship, and what not to put up with.
Now I'm with the person I had wanted all along. We'd been friends for 2 years before we kissed for the first time, and it took another four months before we went out, then another 2 months before I was ready to sleep with him. Now it's a year later and we're still together and both want to get married sometime when University is over.

In all, my advice is have sex with someone you care about, and who cares about you, then at least you won't have so many bad feelings even if the relationship sours. Take as much as you can from the experience and learn form it. I'd say wait until it's legal - not because suddenly it magically becomes fine then, but if you do need help (contraception, morning after), at least people will treat you with a little more respect. Sex after marriage is archaic - like people have said, its out of place in a society where contraception is easy to come by.

Sorry about the wall.

 

[Pennyy9]

In all, my advice is have sex with someone you care about, and who cares about you, then at least you won't have so many bad feelings even if the relationship sours. Take as much as you can from the experience and learn form it. I'd say wait until it's legal - not because suddenly it magically becomes fine then, but if you do need help (contraception, morning after), at least people will treat you with a little more respect. Sex after marriage is archaic - like people have said, its out of place in a society where contraception is easy to come by.

Sorry about the wall.

I find that people respect me when they understand my point and how I articulate it. And I am the king of walls, its painful.

 

[Naheal]

You made a choice. I say shrug and move on.

 

[Mechsoap]

girls tend to see me as the very nerdy strange foreigner with social skills on 0

 

[Crenelate]

I find that people respect me when they understand my point and how I articulate it. And I am the king of walls, its painful.

Seems like your story is fairly typical - shame the police got involved, but really you have nothing to be ashamed or berated for. Everyone young sneaks around behind their parents' backs, it's normal when you're a teenager. You do seem like a perfectly respectable person from your story.

To undermine my own point: when I was 17 I had to go to the clinic because I had some hormonal problems. They told me I probably had Chlamydia (which I didn't), and seemed surprised that it would have meant my boyfriend had cheated on me (which he hadn't) and that I wasn't a massive slag. Even when you're in a caring and exclusive relationship people will assume you're riddled with STDs just because you're a teenager.

 

[Luftwaffles]

Good education is the key. Penny is trying to tell us he promotes safe sex. It applies to whatever age anyone is, unless ofcourse the plan is to actually raise a family.
Even though you had sex at a young age, it shows you are able to look back and understand what you did. I am a Christian too, and sex was never discussed with my parents, only school. Frankly the idea of talking to my parents about sex is disturbing to me.
Talking about love at such a young age is a touchy subject, to personally, at your age your thoughts are clouded by hormones and the urge to spread your genetic material. Humans after all are sexually mature at 12-13. Looking back through history most marriages are between young adults. It is only because of our current generation that young sex/marriage is taboo.
For me, id like to wait till i find someone i can see having a family with to procreate with.

 

[Pennyy9]

Good education is the key. Penny is trying to tell us he promotes safe sex. It applies to whatever age anyone is, unless ofcourse the plan is to actually raise a family.
Even though you had sex at a young age, it shows you are able to look back and understand what you did. I am a Christian too, and sex was never discussed with my parents, only school. Frankly the idea of talking to my parents about sex is disturbing to me.
Talking about love at such a young age is a touchy subject, to personally, at your age your thoughts are clouded by hormones and the urge to spread your genetic material. Humans after all are sexually mature at 12-13. Looking back through history most marriages are between young adults. It is only because of our current generation that young sex/marriage is taboo.
For me, id like to wait till i find someone i can see having a family with to procreate with.

Well, if not love, I trusted and cherished her. She made me happy every day and I never got tired of her. If that's not love then I don't know what is.

 

[eatenbyagrue]

Over the next few months I develop a niche as the rebound kid. I'm such a great fixer for all the problems that are troubling girls hearts. I'd make a great gay friend. But the trouble is, I'm not. It's horrible being so close to girls you like and having them want to be friends.

Whats sad is when you're still the "straight gay friend" at 22 years old.