A 16 year old boy on teen sex.

[Crenelate]

Good education is the key.

You make a good point - loads of people are freaking out because they want to teach sex ed to younger kids, missing out on the fact that it's about the importance of relationships rather than the birds and the bees. I think this is something the current sex ed is really missing out on. As far as I can remember, our sex ed was giant projections of STD images, which isn't really enough to educate kids properly.
I don't come form a religious home, and my parents have never sat me down for a 'talk'. Sex was just something that we knew about from a young enough age and wasn't hidden away. I remember my mother telling me what a blow job was when I was seven because someone had written it on the back of a chair somewhere and I had asked. I consider myself to have good moral values sex-wise - I definitely wouldn't sleep with someone I wasn't in a caring relationship with.
Making the subject taboo just creates this 'forbidden fruit' aura where people aren't educated enough to deal with it in a safe and responsible manner.

 

[Dexiro]

Don't worry about waiting until marriage or whatever just wait until you feel ready. Even if you feel the relationship progressed too early it's the best way to learn, and i'm sure you'd be able to talk it through with your girlfriend.

 

[soilent]

Not even halfway through highschool, still shouldn't have done it.

Early graduate my friend. But please explain why I shouldn't have.

Despite what you may think, You're not even close to being adults. Not even young ones. Even if you understand exactly what's going on doesn't change your age nor the possible consequences.

Consequences don't change as you get older do they? STD's, pregnancy, heartbreak (to name a few) don't change with age.

He is right, I know it sounds condescending but you really have NO idea. They change drastically with age. STDs become more prevalent out in the real world, Pregnancy can obliterate lives, heartbreak always hurts, perhaps more when you're young, but once you get outside the realm of a school, it takes on a whole new meaning and definition.

I really shouldnt be the one telling you this because its awfully hypocritical, but always have safe sex, ALWAYS. The only reason I dont is because my girlfriend and I are both STD negative and very very careful.

You'll find other girls, the most important thing is developing connections with as many good friends as possible, you can always find another girl, but true friends are very hard to find after high school.

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

Do what you want. Make a gamble here and there and Live a little. You only get one life but depending on your religion it could be several. But still it is a finite number so make it count.

 

[Luftwaffles]

Good education is the key. Penny is trying to tell us he promotes safe sex. It applies to whatever age anyone is, unless ofcourse the plan is to actually raise a family.
Even though you had sex at a young age, it shows you are able to look back and understand what you did. I am a Christian too, and sex was never discussed with my parents, only school. Frankly the idea of talking to my parents about sex is disturbing to me.
Talking about love at such a young age is a touchy subject, to personally, at your age your thoughts are clouded by hormones and the urge to spread your genetic material. Humans after all are sexually mature at 12-13. Looking back through history most marriages are between young adults. It is only because of our current generation that young sex/marriage is taboo.
For me, id like to wait till i find someone i can see having a family with to procreate with.

Well, if not love, I trusted and cherished her. She made me happy every day and I never got tired of her. If that's not love then I don't know what is.

If that is what you truly feel then your parents should respect that. Most religious parents are pretty closed minded but hopefully yours are the latter. I for one am jealous that you had the opportunity to experience something like that early in life.

@Crenelate: Our schools sex ed had STD pictures AND hands on practice in using condoms(on a big plastic dildo.....*shudder*)

 

[Mortons4ck]

I think this is something the current sex ed is really missing out on. As far as I can remember, our sex ed was giant projections of STD images, which isn't really enough to educate kids properly.

I think that was a pretty common Sex Ed experience. They morphed ours into a giant scared-straight-esque program. Y'know, short of having people come in with advanced stage syphilis.

 

[pigmypython]

Funny how the most the argument against teen pregnancy has is the smaller-than-1 percent chance of conception.

A little less then 1% still means 1 or so out of 100. If you shag as much as me and my girl do than that's about 1-3 times a day...which means in a couple months she should be preggy just by doing the math lol.

 

[GuyWithABeard]

I can't understand why people think sex is so Taboo nowadays. With the way people go on about it, you'd think sex was a ritualistic means of maturity or coming of age and those who haven't lost their virginity are socually segmented into an outcast status.

Just to make myself clear, I'm not a virgin, I have had sex and my fiance and I regularily have sex. (Although I'm not going into much detail) Having said that, I don't feel the slightest bit of reprocussion from saying that because I'm comfortable with it, I don't see why it makes such a big deal anymore.

People who dwell on the whole "Sex before marriage" ordeal in my opinion are living too much in thw past. Its just something human's do naturally with other people and it's something that possesses a connotation of love, It's not just something we do randomly although people prefer it that way.

Have fun catching all sorts of STD's to those people.

I think its just something we do with someone we feel very close to or who we like/love quite a lot.

 

[Crenelate]

We never got condom practice. I think it was more prevention than preparation.

 

[BringBackBuck]

stuff and things

Kudos to you sir. Excellent post and you seem more mature than many 20 something year olds who would be in just as much trouble if they got knocked up as you. If your first time was a positive experience with someone you cared about then you have done better than most people I know.

 

[Exmigrant]

Though never actually experiencing sex, *at 21 years of age* or having a girlfriend/date, I, like you, am a fixer. I mend relationships of my friends and family. I'm always the one people come too to discuss their feelings/thoughts. To be hones it's tiring at times when I find out my friends are sleeping with each other.

I tell you that story, to mention this one. You should never feel pressured into having intercourse. Like most posts stated earlier, sex is meant to happen whenever it feels right, not whenever you see your friends doing it. Having sex before you're ready can have repercussions you may or may not yet expect. You do seem insightful and deep for a 16 year old, but there is still much for you to learn. Having sex due to peer pressure, or before you're ready, can have some psychological effects that you may not expect.

It's these effects that I warn you about. So again like everyone else is saying, just whenever it feels right, is the right time. Though statistically speaking, if you were looking for a long term relationship, most of those don't happen in High School since college is around the corner.

Anyway I digress, If you felt it was right, and understood what you were getting into, than it was the better choice, if you look back and regret the act, it was probably a mistake.

 

[faceless chick]

well congrats you're normal now.
as for your mom, she'll get over it.remind her she did the same at your age, no matter what she's saying right now.

 

[Crenelate]

Funny how the most the argument against teen pregnancy has is the smaller-than-1 percent chance of conception.

A little less then 1% still means 1 or so out of 100. If you shag as much as me and my girl do than that's about 1-3 times a day...which means in a couple months she should be preggy just by doing the math lol.

That's not really how conception works. There's only a small window in every month when a girl can get pregnant, and while technically there's no 'safe' time to have unprotected sex, just because you do doesn't mean you'll definitely get pregnant. However, if you have unprotected sex regularly, obviously the chance you will conceive goes up. The 'math' isn't really that straight forward.

 

[Legend of J]

Well basically sex is sex you do it here and there but once you hit uni your parents carnt really say anythink at all.

I think its the unwritten rule.

Hurrah for the freedoms of uni!
I have to go home for the summer today , next year Ill find a job here and stay the summer.

Mines 2morrow...oh well XD

 

[Liam104]

i've had several sexual partners including a couple of long term girlfriends, a fling and some one night stands. I have no regrets.

My parents are happy for me to sleep with my girlfriends at home and are unintrusive into my personal life. I believe they trust me to make the right decisions. I went to a school that taught us the essentials of safe sex plus you are told about the burdens young mothers put on society and the horrors of aids etc it in the media. To me the consequences of unprotected sex make it a mandatory requirement with anyone I have it with be it the pill if I know they're taking it (my girlfriends) or a condom (if I've just met them).

I still consider myself relatively young (22) and am in education with a part time job. If my girlfriend suddenly announced she was pregnent ot would be a major problem in my life. I wouldn't be able to support the child and I'd worry about the emmotional stress an abortion would put on the relationship. However, I know if I was to have a child at this age my parents and her parents would support us. But it hasn't happened yet and doubt it will.

Attiudes towards sex should be, I believe, a personal thing. If you're not ready to have sex for whatever reason then that's fine. If you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage, that's also fine, don't look to other people to change your mind or even reassert your view. If you believe you are ready then go ahead you're hopefully educated enough to make the right decisions. Personally I really enjoy sex thus I have a very relaxed attitude to who I do it with (while not being a dirty cheat of course). My girlfriend and I share a very healthy relationship, as with my previous one, and have a lot of fun discussing and experiencing all the pleasures of sex with each other and long may it last.

To conclude, not having sex because you're worried about contraception being entirely fail safe. Yes it doesn't work all the time but if you use it and get pregnant you can't go suing the contraceptive company because they stipulated it on the box. Even non-drowsey hayfever pills "may cause drowsiness". Yes be cautious but don't be overly cautious to the point you don't have sex. I believe it's important for healthy mental and social development. It's part of growing up.

my two cents.

 

[John_Dillinger]

Now I have to ask. Have you recently had sex and were looking for a way to get a group of strangers to discuss it with objectivly? Come on. We've all been there.

 

[Bane_Star]

Curiously, I've seen far higher stats in Med school books, a healthy male & female in the two weeks before the period have an 80% chance to get pregnant. 1%-2% is for wearing a condom.

 

[Evil the White]

See, I cn see where you're coming from, because I'm very much in a similar situation. I'm 16, raised Christian, and I believe that marriage is more or less the public side of saying that you want to be together. My parents had already 'married' each other years before I was born. So my view would be that if you truely loved her, and that that was the person you wanted to lose your virginity with, then that was the right decision for you. Although having it unprotected was a bit risky.

Anyway, don't worry about it too much. Remember the good times you had together fondly, and remember that I will also always be jammed firmly in the 'friend' catagory.

 

[RavingLibDem]

I think if your in a settled relationship, and feel ready for it, then you should do it, I think age doesn't directly impact on that. I for instance, waited to lose my virginity until I was twenty, and fell madly in love with a girl, and the sex was just a natural way of expressing this. So I don't think anyone can tell anyone else if it was right to have sex, I think the person themselves will know themselves

 

[DC_Josh]

Read the whole thing, which is rare for me as I am a blatant tl;dr kinda guy. But the tale enthralled me and was an interesting insight into your life. I can agree with you that you've done the correct things through out and your mature attitude has been overshadowed by your mothers ignorant, yet love-based objections to your love life. You are 16, it is legal and where it was't polite NOT to tell her you had a guest over for the evening, it did not constitute as against the law. She should have perhaps left a note at her house explaining where she had gone.

Keep trucking good sir, you will win.