A 16 year old boy on teen sex.
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Sex before marriage is a stupid idea. It may have had its place way back when but nowadays such an idea can not overcome the desire to try sex due to its hype within our culture.
Anyway to the point, its your choice, your life and your decision. Your parents may like to think they have control over that but you are 16 and decisions like these are up to you. While they may disagree with what you have done they have no place to tell you that it was the wrong thing to do. I personally am an atheist and I became so for my own reasons. Religion, parents and cultural beliefs are just opinions. They cannever tell you what is right and wrong. Only you can decide that.
Anyway to the point, its your choice, your life and your decision. Your parents may like to think they have control over that but you are 16 and decisions like these are up to you. While they may disagree with what you have done they have no place to tell you that it was the wrong thing to do. I personally am an atheist and I became so for my own reasons. Religion, parents and cultural beliefs are just opinions. They cannever tell you what is right and wrong. Only you can decide that.
I see more and more of these threads, and it just astounds me how my parents act about the issue. They are fine about it (in a way) I lost my virginity at 18 (19 now). And when she was cleaning out my room she found a condom wrapper in the garbage, all she said was "well, at least your using rubbers."
My parents (and myself) being pretty moderate Catholics is rather interesting to the whole bit, but I suppose religion is something each person decides on, right?
OT: It is always your decision when you are ready for sex. Can your decision be wrong? Of course! But it is still your decision to make. BTW, the police? Damn!
My parents (and myself) being pretty moderate Catholics is rather interesting to the whole bit, but I suppose religion is something each person decides on, right?
OT: It is always your decision when you are ready for sex. Can your decision be wrong? Of course! But it is still your decision to make. BTW, the police? Damn!
Well, I can understand why your mum is dissapointed, then again, it is your life, and your choice. I started a bit later than you, and also agree that sex must happen whan you feel ready, not when you marry (having said that, some people migth feel ready when they marry). In my case my family knew when it happened since I did not hid it from them, but since they are really open about that subject, and my first condom was in fact a gift from my father when I was 15, then my situation was different to yours.
I am in a relationship rigth now, and I love her very much, I have only had sex with girls that I loved, so I have no regrets in my past.
The best advice I can give you is, take care of yourself and your girl (protected sex means that you are protecting each other and that is also love).
I am in a relationship rigth now, and I love her very much, I have only had sex with girls that I loved, so I have no regrets in my past.
The best advice I can give you is, take care of yourself and your girl (protected sex means that you are protecting each other and that is also love).
I didn't have sex or a girlfriend until I was nineteen, don't worry about it. I can understand you being sad about not having experienced either yet, so long as you're not sad because everyone or most others have done it or had that. It'll happen when it happens. If it's not perfect the first, or fifth time around, don't stress. You will eventually find that person or people throughout your life, and you'll truly appreciate them, the things you do together, and the connection you share. Also, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you have an awesome and caring personality. Weight and self-esteem are things you can change.blakfayt said:
OT - It seems like you're much more mature than most people your age. I'm glad to hear you had sex when you felt you were ready, with someone you were comfortable with and loved. Kids these days are having sex at ridiculously young ages, and simply do not understand or appreciate the seriousness of it. You don't seem to be one of those kids. I'm also glad to know that you've been practicing safe sex ever since your first time.
I can understand your mom being so upset. She has her own beliefs, and you're her child, so I'm not surprised that she expects you to uphold those as well. Although that isn't fair, she reacted the way she did out of love (and possibly stubbornness).
As thread OPs go, that was excellently written. Well done.
Personally, I feel that, while you shouldn't just do what you want whenever you want, you shouldn't let yourself be bound by rules written by someone you never knew, for people who probably aren't even alive any more. I am a little biased against all religion, though.
Also, did you mean you were 15 when you invited her to your house? In that case... yeah, that's probably a bit young. But it's different for everyone and I'm not entitled to tell you whether you're ready or not.
/Ramble
Personally, I feel that, while you shouldn't just do what you want whenever you want, you shouldn't let yourself be bound by rules written by someone you never knew, for people who probably aren't even alive any more. I am a little biased against all religion, though.
Also, did you mean you were 15 when you invited her to your house? In that case... yeah, that's probably a bit young. But it's different for everyone and I'm not entitled to tell you whether you're ready or not.
/Ramble
Agree with the poster that sex is sex. So long as you respect it , then there should be no problem.
However i will note that at 16 ,even if people think its young. You really should understand your parents point of view. They are just trying to protect you from.. well you.
I lived in a area that was filled with many people that believed in no nothing until marriage.
My friend was in that area. Even when he did get engaged, when they were in his parents house, they were not allowed to even touch each other. such as holding hands. It got to the point where they were ready to just screw infront of everyone at there wedding.
On the other hand his sister which had had a few boyfriends ended up pregnant at 18. Wonderful girl , but she kinda messed up by not listening to her parents a bit better.
As to my point of view. Its just sex, the more people know about it , the less risks will be taken.
However i will note that at 16 ,even if people think its young. You really should understand your parents point of view. They are just trying to protect you from.. well you.
I lived in a area that was filled with many people that believed in no nothing until marriage.
My friend was in that area. Even when he did get engaged, when they were in his parents house, they were not allowed to even touch each other. such as holding hands. It got to the point where they were ready to just screw infront of everyone at there wedding.
On the other hand his sister which had had a few boyfriends ended up pregnant at 18. Wonderful girl , but she kinda messed up by not listening to her parents a bit better.
As to my point of view. Its just sex, the more people know about it , the less risks will be taken.
Why bother with things like that at said age? That's time you could be spending doing something practical. Oh, and there's the fact that chaos dictates that anything can happen at any time, no matter how low the probability.
And here's a statement that should help people with this conundrum: If you're mature enough to not do it, you're mature enough to do it later. Key word being later.
And here's a statement that should help people with this conundrum: If you're mature enough to not do it, you're mature enough to do it later. Key word being later.
man i cant get this crap abut marige no i will not in any way whit in till im marid cus its just cariz to whit that loong may be becus in isral you HAVE to serve in the army 3 years min (not that i dont what to serve) but theres no reson to whit that long before you do it
Religion shouldn't be in the way of what you really want. What I'm saying is: have sex when you are ready and willing.
Priorities, priorities. nice story man, made my day. 
First off I should focus on actually getting a girlfriend. curse me and my fugly face. >.>
First off I should focus on actually getting a girlfriend. curse me and my fugly face. >.>
Oh I'm not sure about that.Vanguard_Ex said:
I had sex before marriage, and regret it completely.
I regret previous sexual encounters, because I've always viewed sex as giving a part of yourself to someone. It's a gift. And when I fell in love with my wife, I wanted to give her everything, but I couldn't. I wasted it on other women. After I met and fell in love with my wife, we waited until we were married to ensure that the marriage was built on more then just physical attraction.
Now, I'm not walking around with my shoulders sagged in the immense burden of guilt (You've got to live with your decisions), but if I could go back and stop myself: I absolutely would. If not for me, then for my wife who deserves it.
But, I also don't look at sex in such a cavalier fashion that so many seem to.
Like I said: I see it as a gift.
The more you give it out, the cheaper it is.
The trouble with no sex before marriage is that once you're married it's suddenly okay. As in, people will be in relationships and get married before they would've done if they permitted themselves to have non-marital sex. Basically it makes people marry before they would've done just so they can have sex. Defeats the point of marriage in a way.
Sex is just sex. I agree with a lot of your statements and a lot of your views. I find nothing wrong at all with having sex at the age of sixteen. I'm nineteen years old and a virgin. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about but I do know for damn sure if it's safe and consensual then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Hell, sex doesn't even have to be with someone you love. Just be honest and safe with the person. If they want it and you want it go ahead.
I disagree completely with your mothers views though. Marriage is just a few papers, one good day and something that's clearly for a higher being then humanity. If you break up with the person after you marry them *which, lets be honest, it'll probably happen.* then how does it really matter if you've had sex before marriage or not?
And if there is a god, why the fuck would he give a shit?
The thing I disagree the absolute most with your mother is why she's mad at you. I mean, you didn't abuse M and you didn't use her just to have sex with her. You were absolutely honest.
Don't let your parents, your grandparents, or anyone stop you from doing what you feel. They may be older then you, and maybe more experienced, they are however still human, humans who cannot drop dead old ideals that this world has no purpose for any longer.
Edit - Besides, if you are going to get married this is a very serious choice. I personally don't believe in marriage but if that is your cup of tea then make sure for the love of god that it's what you want. This is a choice that shouldn't take a few months, I think this is a choice that shouldn't come until you're at least in your thirties my self.
And why? Because Sex is just sex meanwhile marriage is a serious commitment.
I disagree completely with your mothers views though. Marriage is just a few papers, one good day and something that's clearly for a higher being then humanity. If you break up with the person after you marry them *which, lets be honest, it'll probably happen.* then how does it really matter if you've had sex before marriage or not?
And if there is a god, why the fuck would he give a shit?
The thing I disagree the absolute most with your mother is why she's mad at you. I mean, you didn't abuse M and you didn't use her just to have sex with her. You were absolutely honest.
Don't let your parents, your grandparents, or anyone stop you from doing what you feel. They may be older then you, and maybe more experienced, they are however still human, humans who cannot drop dead old ideals that this world has no purpose for any longer.
Edit - Besides, if you are going to get married this is a very serious choice. I personally don't believe in marriage but if that is your cup of tea then make sure for the love of god that it's what you want. This is a choice that shouldn't take a few months, I think this is a choice that shouldn't come until you're at least in your thirties my self.
And why? Because Sex is just sex meanwhile marriage is a serious commitment.
My whole thing on sex before marrage is this. You aren't going to be in love at a young age. You may think you are, but you're not. That being said, as long as the kid is going to take responsibility for when they fuck up and get someone pregnant, fine. I'm happy at least some kids are being safe when they have sex, but still, there's a ton more that aren't for every one that is.
At the same time, there's some countries where it's illegal. I have a friend from a different forum that said she'd literally be murdered if she did. I think if you do have the free choice, as long as your safe about it, and take responsibility for whatever you do wrong, then do whatever. As long as both partners agree it's okay to begin with.
At the same time, there's some countries where it's illegal. I have a friend from a different forum that said she'd literally be murdered if she did. I think if you do have the free choice, as long as your safe about it, and take responsibility for whatever you do wrong, then do whatever. As long as both partners agree it's okay to begin with.
