A question to you asexual people.

[JUMBO PALACE]

If you give a girl advice, she will likely claim it as her own idea.

That one happens to be correct. I'd chalk the other ones up to your professed cynicism and paranoia.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

And sex withdrawal symptoms? Normally I find that the person is putting it on to be "cool". I've never experienced them myself, but hey, it could be possible.

I've never heard of "sex withdrawal" before. If anything it's just being really horny. My first two weeks at college away from my girlfriend were murder. I wouldn't call it withdrawal though. That's just silly.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

I see you, yes you with the hat, and the diabolical moustache! You! You define yourself as an asexual yes? Now I must ask you, have you ever been "intimate" with anyone. In my personal experience many of my asexual friends haven't ever had sex and say they don't have interest in it. That's completely fine as if I was of the "try it before you judge" camp I would have tried weed.

But many of their arguments for not being interested seem based on some horror story of people catching some horrible disease or getting terribly hurt by a sexual relationship and it makes me sad that these story's have made people decide not to try this delicious spice of life.

So asexual people, have you "done the deed"?

Edit: I realise this may be a silly question

I can't really call myself 100% asexual right now but yes, I've had sex. Infact up until 6 months ago I never went 3 weeks without. it's been a while since my last sexual partner and for the moment I don't really find myself 100% interested in it right now. I'd rather find a good relationship and let that blossom than simply go out and find a buddy.

It's different for many people.

 

[Liberaliter]

I'd always assumed that people who considered themselves "asexual" did so because they had such crippling social anxiety that they figured "I'm never gonna get a date with anyone ever, so I'll just say I'm asexual and make it seem like it's a deliberate life choice."

That's what I thought.

 

[omega 616]

Couldn't you have just messaged or even typed this in the other guys thread? I assume thats were you got he inspiration for this thread from.

'cos I don't see you getting alot of accurate answers, since the only ones who can accurately tell you are asexual's and I don't think theres a massive amount on this site.

 

[Something Amyss]

Hmmm, how about you think of it this way: you're a straight guy, right? And you say you're not interested in other men. How can you dismiss it until you've tried?

So you don't have to try everything in order to be sure of something. IMO, anyway.

This has bugged me back since high school when I was labeled "bi curious" because I hadn't had "gay sex" yet. It's like, so you actually need to do the deed to "prove" your sexuality? Seems to be the same standard is being applied here to asexuals, so I love the counter-argument.

Then again, sexuality is still considered by many to be a lifestyle choice. Meaning that deep down, most of those homophobes are worried that if they meet the right guy, they'll slip off the bandwagon and onto Carlos.

Maybe that's where it stems from.

This is the part that struck me as strange. You have many asexual friends? I've been walking around this planet for almost 24 years, and never once has someone identified themselves to me as asexual. I know people who don't have sex for various reasons, and some who simply have not yet, but nobody who claims they're completely indifferent to it. Isn't the drive for sex supposed to be a biological imperitive?

Not all people's experiences are typical. I live in a small apartment building, but on my floor there are three transgendered people and a drag queen. I think that puts the statistic at around 1 in 3 people. Clearly not typical.

His friends may live in a community or just a specific subset that is more open to things outside the sexual binary (and I exclude bisexuality simply because so many people still think as though it's one or the other, gay or straight, pick a side).

I've never met an asexual. The only place I come across them is online. I live in my community, though. You in yours, his in his.

Besides, as populations grow, there tends to be a natural control. Homosexuality is one of the ways nature controls populations. Lack of sex drive strikes me as a logical step as well, because people who aren't screwing anyone aren't likely to make babies.

Honestly, I can't imagine not being interested in sex. Then again, I also can't imagine being interested in only one gender, so that goes to show you how "normal" for one person can seem abnormal to another. But I accept all those unisexual folks, despite their flaws.

 

[ZSF]

I've never done it. I'm celibate because I hate other people, it shouldn't be hard to guess why by simply looking at some of the replies to this thread. I don't find it disgusting however, I _am_ attracted to women, and I must also admit, that I'm attracted to some men who have decided to be women.

 

[Woodsey]

In my personal experience many of my asexual friends haven't ever had sex and say they don't have interest in it.

This is the part that struck me as strange. You have many asexual friends? I've been walking around this planet for almost 24 years, and never once has someone identified themselves to me as asexual. I know people who don't have sex for various reasons, and some who simply have not yet, but nobody who claims they're completely indifferent to it. Isn't the drive for sex supposed to be a biological imperitive?

It does seem to be the latest craze at the minute - a couple of years ago everyone was suddenly bisexual.

 

[RedRingRico]

(I can't be bothered digging back to find the quotes for all the questions, so I'll just answer all the ones I remember in a big jumble.)

I throw my coin in with those who just aren't interested in sex.

I do have a romantic drive, and I do enjoy physical intimacy - but only up until a certain point, that point generally being the point at which nudity or genitals become involved. As it's just a -sexual- drive I lack I can and do find people physically attractive, though for relationships I tend to only go for people I have an emotional connection with.

It hasn't stressed me particularly, but it does irritate me that most media treats asexuality as inconcievable. (Ex: Bioware games (apart from KotOR) where it's treated as if not wanting to have sex with your love interest basically means you don't love them (Though Aerie is a slight subversion, if I recall correctly you end up impregnating her in the expansion anyway))

 

[Estocavio]

Well im Asexual because im utterly paranoid.

If anyone appears seductive to me, i consider them to be deceptive liars, trying to get something out of me.
If you buy a girl a drink at a bar, she gets free alcohol.
If you give a girl a lift for whatever reason, she gets a free taxi service.
If you give a girl advice, she will likely claim it as her own idea.
If a girl asks you for a favor shortly after you meet, she expects you to fulfil it due to your gender. Most of them at least. Ive seen three exceptions.
If a girl is dressed seductively in a public place, shes an attention seeker, or a social addict.

Im not even going to go on.
Also, im clearly Cynical.

Paranoia + Cynicism = Asexuality

Oh please... get over yourself, you're the attention seeker here going all "oooh!! I'm such a cynical ****"

This coming from the person violating multiple terms of use and clearly seeking attention him/her self. Goodbye.

 

[Dystopia]

I have never, in my 22 years on this planet, met a person who identifies as 'asexual'. So why are there so many on here?!

My guess is that some people don't quite get the meaning of asexual. Being afraid of sex isn't a qualifying criterion. Simply not being interested in it, however, is.

 

[Newbonomicon]

If asexuality is a "craze", it hasn't spread here yet. I have not only never met another asexual in my life, but any time I tell someone that's what I am, I get one of three responses:

1) How do you know?
2) How do you -really- know?
3) You are now a bacterium in my eyes and I will never acknowledge otherwise or stop giving you crap about it.

I've come up with a few retorts that usually work. For example, "If I said I was gay, would you have asked how I knew?" tends to shut 'em up. For a while I half-jokingly said that my sexuality was "whichever one means not anyone here", but that raised more questions and inevitably led to the same crap every time.

As for my actual views on human beauty, I can acknowledge what about people makes them attractive, but only from an observational standpoint. For example, I understand that eyes are an important part of a face, but looking at them creeps me out. Then there's the actual sexual... "area", the genitals. Here is a short list of words I have used to describe the genitals of either sex:

Abomination
Horror
Shoggoth
Hideous
Evil
Terrifying
Gaping Maw of Cthulhu (female only)
Eerie
Creepy
Slimy

and last, but not least:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...


So yeah, don't expect me to just try it out. I will admit that I have used masturbation as a method to relieve tension, but there are many reasons (which I refuse to detail here) why I prefer other means of stress relief.

 

[Dogstile]

Couldn't you have just messaged or even typed this in the other guys thread? I assume thats were you got he inspiration for this thread from.

'cos I don't see you getting alot of accurate answers, since the only ones who can accurately tell you are asexual's and I don't think theres a massive amount on this site.

...
Wait, what other thread? I've probably posted in it too knowing me >.>

 

[Dublin Solo]

I think that being asexual mostly means having no real sexual drive. That happens, it's not a disease, it's not a psychological problem, it simply happens.

I don't think asexual people can't love. That's two separate things.

 

[Lyx]

If asexuality is a "craze", it hasn't spread here yet. I have not only never met another asexual in my life, but any time I tell someone that's what I am, I get one of three responses:

1) How do you know?
2) How do you -really- know?
3) You are now a bacterium in my eyes and I will never acknowledge otherwise or stop giving you crap about it.

Here's a less known secret to learn about human culture: Whenever you have two opposing camps (usually forming a contravelent dualism), they will throw dirt at each other, claiming that the opposing side is teh devil. However, in such cases there is always a third (and fourth) possibility, which will scare BOTH sides even more than they are scared about each other. Thats because as long as both camps just fight with each other, they still acknowledge each other. But the other two options - they question the very existence and "self-justification" of the two opposing camps.

That may have sounded a bit cryptic, so here's a practical example: Let's say you've got hetero's and homo's - even when both camps fight each other, they still acknowledge the other. Asexuals instead... they not just represent a different choice of partner - they (from the POV of the other camps) question the point of choosing a sexpartner at all - and that is so much more gamechanging, than just debating which sex to find attractive. It's like you question the premises of someone elses identity - they justify themselves by "well, thats just how humans are" - they've got a whole truck full of behaviours and opinions, justified by "well, nature made me so - its how everyone has to be". And then you come over and tell them "huh? doesnt seem to apply to me"

(Now, before someone posts that i'm glorifying asexuality just because i like it: I'm heterosexual and i like sex - though, i'm a bit picky about the kind

 

[Mikeyfell]

it's not really about "Haven't done it"
it's about "no sane person would ever touch us and we don't want to do it with some crazy ************"
and they just use the "I'll catch something" horror story as a flimsy excuse

 

[Continuity]

Wait... I thought all humans were Sexual beings due to the fact that they can only reproduce with 2 or more creatures (Male and Female) and an Asexual being can have sex with "itself" and reproduce that way. It is physically impossible for a human to be asexual isn't it? Have I missed some sort of scientific breakthrough?

Its not science, its linguistics. Asexual as in sexual orientation rather than reproductive method.

Basically there is a sliding scale of sexuality, from asexuality (no sexuality, or no sexual feelings) at one end and omni-sexuality (everything and everyone turns you on) at the other end. With the more ordinary orientations such as heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual inbetween.. plus various other aberrations.

Personally I'm heterosexual, but you could call me asexual from a behavioural point of view because I'm not interested in having any sort of relationship (I'm happy just being single) at least for the time being.