I work at the airport in my city and I've never once been seduced by a sexy MILF flight attendant or a couple of horny pilots. Porn has made my life a lie!
An honest discussion on the effects of porn
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I would like to put forward a question.
I have come to realise that some women (from my experience most of them) like to be treated roughly during sex.
so, do women see porn and think that is how it should be done? (you know the typical degradation) or is it just a thing certain women want?
i have seen this kind of thing in porn, girls being slapped and having their hair pulled, i guess it is fun but is this something that is influenced by porn?
I have come to realise that some women (from my experience most of them) like to be treated roughly during sex.
so, do women see porn and think that is how it should be done? (you know the typical degradation) or is it just a thing certain women want?
i have seen this kind of thing in porn, girls being slapped and having their hair pulled, i guess it is fun but is this something that is influenced by porn?
I've had relationships with women who did like to be dominated in bed (though not to the extent of actually causing them lots of physical harm), and many of them had barely ever watched porn.carlsberg export said:
In fact, they actually said it was the basically the opposite of porn that made them uncomfortable with the idea of experimenting with being dominated: it was because the idea that being 'submissive' to a man in any way was inherently wrong, and this had been drilled into their head for much of their lives.
So, long story short, no I don't think porn influences women to want that (though it might make them more curious to try it). I think a lot of women simply do enjoy that kind of sex.
IT depends....
Many aspects have to come together to make porn something detrimental.
Best example i can give is Japan who has been struggling with very low birth rates for a while, so low infact that the new births dont outweight the deathrate.
Its this strange mix of highly conservative, allmost surpressing lifestyle, social and educational pressure (highest suicide rate amongst teens in the world if i remember correctly) and a porn industry that pretty much caters to any fetish imaginable in such large amounts that no one bats an eye at it anymore.
Males in japan nowadays are more likely to use porn and sextoys, or visit a "bathhouse" then actually seeking a relationship or sexual fullfillment IN a relationship. This is often even the "plot" in alot of japanese anime/manga porn. Husband doesnt want sex, wife goes looking for it elsewhere.. that sorta thing.
This mix of culture and porn is actually very unhealthy. Having a super conversative society but allowing unrestricted access to all kinds of porn seems to be the culprit here. Without a more liberal aproach to the actual act of sex and relationships themselves however nothing will change much since you cant simply take away their porn and tell them to screw each others more.
Many aspects have to come together to make porn something detrimental.
Best example i can give is Japan who has been struggling with very low birth rates for a while, so low infact that the new births dont outweight the deathrate.
Its this strange mix of highly conservative, allmost surpressing lifestyle, social and educational pressure (highest suicide rate amongst teens in the world if i remember correctly) and a porn industry that pretty much caters to any fetish imaginable in such large amounts that no one bats an eye at it anymore.
Males in japan nowadays are more likely to use porn and sextoys, or visit a "bathhouse" then actually seeking a relationship or sexual fullfillment IN a relationship. This is often even the "plot" in alot of japanese anime/manga porn. Husband doesnt want sex, wife goes looking for it elsewhere.. that sorta thing.
This mix of culture and porn is actually very unhealthy. Having a super conversative society but allowing unrestricted access to all kinds of porn seems to be the culprit here. Without a more liberal aproach to the actual act of sex and relationships themselves however nothing will change much since you cant simply take away their porn and tell them to screw each others more.
I don't believe so (that it's a response to porn). I've spoken with a few female friends who like rough stuff mostly I think it's to keep things interesting. They even have a term for people who prefer not-rough, "vanilla", which traditionally in this context means "boring". A couple can only do traditional positions so long before the fun suffers, then they find some way to spice it up, if that means playing rough, whatever works for them.carlsberg export said:
Honestly, as I've grown older and have a lot more responsibilities and hobbies, I typically don't think about it at all.
When I was a teen, it was a different story (i'b be kind of weird if it wasn't), but even back then it didn't really effect me in any negative way, especially my creativity.
I would have plenty of ideas and concepts that were more influenced by my life experiences, thoughts, and interests rather than them being warped and twisted into some perverse sexual fantasy. I have played around with the idea of having more explicit sexual content in some of my other works, but I typically lose interest in it very quickly or it would usually boomerang back to one of my favorite genres (comedy, action, fantasy, horror, etc.).
When I was a teen, it was a different story (i'b be kind of weird if it wasn't), but even back then it didn't really effect me in any negative way, especially my creativity.
I would have plenty of ideas and concepts that were more influenced by my life experiences, thoughts, and interests rather than them being warped and twisted into some perverse sexual fantasy. I have played around with the idea of having more explicit sexual content in some of my other works, but I typically lose interest in it very quickly or it would usually boomerang back to one of my favorite genres (comedy, action, fantasy, horror, etc.).
In an empty, well decorated room, a door violently swings open and a young couple, both in their late 20s, stand outside the door, but only for an instant. They make haste towards the well-made bed, dive onto its top covers and begin to passionately exchange kisses, giggling and gasping for air in between sessions. They make small work of their clothes, practically sliding off their well sculptured figures, flung towards all four corners of the room, kissing and panting without missing a beat. While their undergarments only remain, they pause for a moment to gaze into each other's eyes, a brief kiss is exchanged between both lovers and the man proceeds to undo the woman's bra.
With the woman's large and firm breasts resting on her chest, she waits for her lover to take her into throws of ecstasy, as these two souls become one.
Suddenly, a low tone beings to emanate from outside the window of the room near the side of the bed. The sound continues to become exponentially louder until the woman ceases all foreplay to simply remark, "Aw s***."
In an instant, a large explosion causes a large hole on the side of what was once a beautiful room, now forever ruined with by the vast dispersion of shrapnel throughout the living space. Just outside the building, many well-armed men with assault rifles lay in wait as the dust begins to clear in order to proceed inside the building. As they aim their weapons at the now destroyed interior of the room, they are thorough in their search for the two love birds inside.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the woman swings a large bottle of champagne at one of the armed men, breaking it in his face. She quickly proceeds to kick a nearby identical man in the groin, effortlessly snap his neck, and jams the broken end of the bottle at a third armed man in his face, lodging the bottle in his eye.
This commotion gets the attention of two armed men, which quickly turn to face the woman, point their guns at her, and instruct her to stand still. At that moment, the passionate man who was robbed of his chance to pleasure his woman, steps behind one of the two armed men and places him in a one-armed choke hold. He quickly dispatches both armed men by shooting them both in the head with a semi-automatic pistol.
As both armed men go down, the two lovers take moment to catch their breath and gaze at each other from across the room. The man calmly reminds the woman that her breasts are exposed and she quickly buttons the top half of her shirt.
At that moment, a flurry of bullets begin flying into the hole in the wall and pierce the inside walls of the room. The two lovers then dive behind a fallen table and use it as cover, all the while they being to loudly swear and complain about how they could have 'gone all the way' if they simply skipped all the foreplay. While they continue to debate over the importance of such matters, they begin loading magazines into their guns that they unload from a black duffel bag.
The firing from the armed militia ceases and an order can be heard from outside the building about using tear gas to smoke them out. At that moment, the man assures that woman that they are going to have to fight their way through. The woman assures him that she is not afraid and that the man only needs to worry about his d*** not being blown off. A grenade launcher fires a can of tear gas into the air at a trajectory to make its way into the room, at which point the man complements the woman for being beautiful, while she reciprocates that she loves him.
The man then skillfully fires from behind cover at the gas can, causing an explosion of smoke that engulfs the immediate area outside the building. A steady stream of gunfire can be heard coming from the inside of the room, behind the smoke, which successfully takes down a handful of armed men. The two lovers then emerge from the smoke, guns blazing, with the thought of when they will get to finish what they started in the now destroyed bed running through their minds, as they continue to mow down armed men.
With the woman's large and firm breasts resting on her chest, she waits for her lover to take her into throws of ecstasy, as these two souls become one.
Suddenly, a low tone beings to emanate from outside the window of the room near the side of the bed. The sound continues to become exponentially louder until the woman ceases all foreplay to simply remark, "Aw s***."
In an instant, a large explosion causes a large hole on the side of what was once a beautiful room, now forever ruined with by the vast dispersion of shrapnel throughout the living space. Just outside the building, many well-armed men with assault rifles lay in wait as the dust begins to clear in order to proceed inside the building. As they aim their weapons at the now destroyed interior of the room, they are thorough in their search for the two love birds inside.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the woman swings a large bottle of champagne at one of the armed men, breaking it in his face. She quickly proceeds to kick a nearby identical man in the groin, effortlessly snap his neck, and jams the broken end of the bottle at a third armed man in his face, lodging the bottle in his eye.
This commotion gets the attention of two armed men, which quickly turn to face the woman, point their guns at her, and instruct her to stand still. At that moment, the passionate man who was robbed of his chance to pleasure his woman, steps behind one of the two armed men and places him in a one-armed choke hold. He quickly dispatches both armed men by shooting them both in the head with a semi-automatic pistol.
As both armed men go down, the two lovers take moment to catch their breath and gaze at each other from across the room. The man calmly reminds the woman that her breasts are exposed and she quickly buttons the top half of her shirt.
At that moment, a flurry of bullets begin flying into the hole in the wall and pierce the inside walls of the room. The two lovers then dive behind a fallen table and use it as cover, all the while they being to loudly swear and complain about how they could have 'gone all the way' if they simply skipped all the foreplay. While they continue to debate over the importance of such matters, they begin loading magazines into their guns that they unload from a black duffel bag.
The firing from the armed militia ceases and an order can be heard from outside the building about using tear gas to smoke them out. At that moment, the man assures that woman that they are going to have to fight their way through. The woman assures him that she is not afraid and that the man only needs to worry about his d*** not being blown off. A grenade launcher fires a can of tear gas into the air at a trajectory to make its way into the room, at which point the man complements the woman for being beautiful, while she reciprocates that she loves him.
The man then skillfully fires from behind cover at the gas can, causing an explosion of smoke that engulfs the immediate area outside the building. A steady stream of gunfire can be heard coming from the inside of the room, behind the smoke, which successfully takes down a handful of armed men. The two lovers then emerge from the smoke, guns blazing, with the thought of when they will get to finish what they started in the now destroyed bed running through their minds, as they continue to mow down armed men.
HOnestly, I've never been into porn. My brief ventures usually begin/end at softercore fetish stuff. Usually all I need to get through. In hindsight, I don't think I've ever watched just straight up live action porn.
I guess because most of my porn is H-games like Monster Girl Quest or Lightning Warrior Raidy, I view porn in the same way as I do most other games. I would be just as likely to attempt to pull a move from Corruption of Champions as I would attempt Zangief's spinning piledriver. You know, cuz I recognize that whole Fantasy/Reality split. That's coincidentally exactly what I'd name a sex move.
Although I must say I do love how equal opportunity porn is. You want Man on top? You can! Dominatrix? yep. Tons of porn exists to degrade and objectify both men and women. That's the true beauty of porn. There's so many different flavors in this internet age. Nowhere else but the internet can you find someone jerking off to a video of a girl in full clown gear tearing out pages of a bible. Yes that's a real thing.
I guess because most of my porn is H-games like Monster Girl Quest or Lightning Warrior Raidy, I view porn in the same way as I do most other games. I would be just as likely to attempt to pull a move from Corruption of Champions as I would attempt Zangief's spinning piledriver. You know, cuz I recognize that whole Fantasy/Reality split. That's coincidentally exactly what I'd name a sex move.
Although I must say I do love how equal opportunity porn is. You want Man on top? You can! Dominatrix? yep. Tons of porn exists to degrade and objectify both men and women. That's the true beauty of porn. There's so many different flavors in this internet age. Nowhere else but the internet can you find someone jerking off to a video of a girl in full clown gear tearing out pages of a bible. Yes that's a real thing.
I've never been into straight-up porn as much as fiction/fantasy adult material - art, rule 34, mangas, etc. Compared to fiction/fantasy as wide as the imagination can percieve (literally every fetish catered for), watching real naked people fucking each other is plain boring. Maybe if they're doing something interesting like taking it super-rough or with a particular style of BDSM involved I can sit through it.
IRL I do find myself getting attracted to females as much as ever, so I don't think porn/art has really impacted that.
Soooo I guess I'm pro-porn
IRL I do find myself getting attracted to females as much as ever, so I don't think porn/art has really impacted that.
Soooo I guess I'm pro-porn
So basically every single peer review study that's ever been done on porn, or even sexual imagery agrees with your assessment.DizzyChuggernaut said:
A very "famous" person who is a self-described "cultural critic of gaming" likes to point to a study that shows how viewing sexually charged imagery can heighten a persons self-described levels of sexual aggression as a sort of proof that these images in and of themselves can make people more prone to sexual aggression.
Of course, she helpfully leaves out the findings of the study which was if you allow someone to orgasm afterwards, everything goes back down to normal and in fact, the subjects are... ahem "relaxed" is a good way to put it and generally more positive and experience feelings of greater well-being.
Certainly to anyone in the history of the human race that's ever masturbated this probably isn't much of a shock. Still, that didn't stop Joycelyn Elders from getting fired back in '94 as the US Surgeon General when she suggested sex-ed classes in the USA teach about masturbation. Which really highlights the actual issue here - people's own subjective morality and judgement on themselves or other people about sexuality.
That is to say, when it comes to porn, people are just obfuscating the issue and using it as a scapegoat for not dealing with their own sexuality. Most of us I'd dare say can come up with our own mental imagery that is either far more violent, or sexual, or even plain disturbing without needing to go and visit Redtube or Youporn. If people want to somehow debate that the "quality" of produced video porn makes an intrinsic difference over stuff I can imagine in my head, then frankly I'm insulted that these people are underestimating my imagination to such a large degree.
When you look at it that way, doesn't it seem that the only logical way for people who are anti-porn or anti-sex or anti-violence crusaders to achieve their aims isn't just the elimination of naughty pictures and "problematic media", but actually trying to prevent you from having these thoughts in the first place?
Doesn't that seem (hopefully!!) just a tad bit unreasonable to people? At least ones who aren't self described "cultural critics of video games"?
Would you believe me if I told you that I watch porn for the story? Of course you won't because of stereotypes and shit! Well, it's true and it's the main reason why I stick to hentai as my main source of porn consumption... Then again, porn, to me, is like my sexuality... It doesn't do shit for me when it comes to the real world and yet, I never planned it that way in the first place...
Other than that, porn in general is nothing more than a[nother] tool to make me fall asleep at night... Otherwise, I'm still hoping for a sex-ed video that can double as a realistic porno movie just like in the movie The Girl Next Door...
Other than that, porn in general is nothing more than a[nother] tool to make me fall asleep at night... Otherwise, I'm still hoping for a sex-ed video that can double as a realistic porno movie just like in the movie The Girl Next Door...
Yup, sexuality is all about tension and release. Sex-negative/anti-porn feminists seem to have the same ideas about sexuality that fundamentalist Christians do. That is, abstinence is the only solution. Look at the rates of teen pregnancy and STDs in extremely religious parts of the USA (and probably the rest of the world), where unreasonable levels of modesty and abstinence are expected, especially from girls and women.Jake Martinez said:
To be honest I think objectification is inevitable to some degree. So why not encourage the compartmentalisation of that objectification? I'd prefer for violent themes to be explored in films, games and music instead of in the real world. Similarly, I'd like hyper-sexual themes and objectification to be explored in works of fiction rather than in the real world.
Puritanical attitudes ultimately lead to the exacerbation of problems like violence, sexual or otherwise.
Speaking from experience, last year I split from a 9 year relationship from which I was do to be marry this year.
The first 4 years were casual-ish, but then we moved in together and "fell in love". After around 3 years living together we started watching porn together, and after a few months our dirty talk evolved into one of threesomes with other women.
Fast forward a few more months and we've taken it that step further by indugling our 3some fantasy, and we're having women over on a semi-regular basis (I'd say around once ever 2-3 months).
Fast forward a few more months and the ex breaks down as she says she can't handle watching me sleep with other women. She pours her heart out about how it's screwed up her perception of who she is, the relationship breaks down and we split up.
Now there were other odds and sods going off too, but without doubt chasing a false fantasy glamourized by porn into something which in reality it isn't definitely had a massively negative affect on the relationship. I didn't even realize how much i was concentrating on the other women when they were with us, but I was.
The sad thing is, the actual threesom reality really isn't that spectacular at all. I won't deny it was good at times, but it was nowhere near as good as having a loving, caring, fun woman & wife to be.
We live & learn, life goes on and other aspects actually make me grateful that we split. But I definitely think that a lot of people are missing out on genuine happiness because of their desire to fulfill false fantasies which porn makes seem way more exciting than they actually are.
The first 4 years were casual-ish, but then we moved in together and "fell in love". After around 3 years living together we started watching porn together, and after a few months our dirty talk evolved into one of threesomes with other women.
Fast forward a few more months and we've taken it that step further by indugling our 3some fantasy, and we're having women over on a semi-regular basis (I'd say around once ever 2-3 months).
Fast forward a few more months and the ex breaks down as she says she can't handle watching me sleep with other women. She pours her heart out about how it's screwed up her perception of who she is, the relationship breaks down and we split up.
Now there were other odds and sods going off too, but without doubt chasing a false fantasy glamourized by porn into something which in reality it isn't definitely had a massively negative affect on the relationship. I didn't even realize how much i was concentrating on the other women when they were with us, but I was.
The sad thing is, the actual threesom reality really isn't that spectacular at all. I won't deny it was good at times, but it was nowhere near as good as having a loving, caring, fun woman & wife to be.
We live & learn, life goes on and other aspects actually make me grateful that we split. But I definitely think that a lot of people are missing out on genuine happiness because of their desire to fulfill false fantasies which porn makes seem way more exciting than they actually are.
Porn like with many things it all works as a matter of moderation. Are there people who can not distinguish yes but at the same time what kind of porn we are talking. Unless it is some super gonzo shit most porn simulates pretty standard shit just exaggerated.
Also I think porn is a chicken of the egg situation most of it is male oriented and at the same time there is still a stigma to men who watch it.
Plus we are at an impasse when it comes to sexuality. Now better sex education would be a plus but at the same time people will look side ways at anyone aspiring to be a porn star shady parts of the industry besided and we still have tradtional expectations that we might be unconscious of.. I mean the even the argument "teaching young guys the wrong thing" implies the sex is something that a guy does to a woman not a shared activity.
Then there is the argument "prevents guys from going out and meeting women" that rubs me the wrong way. I mean unless this guy is shut off and just wacking it then we have a much bigger problem than the porn at that moment. That statement just keeps the status quo in check of men having to initiate relationships or stigma of males being single through long periods of time as being abject failures to the point of discounting everything else in their lives.
Again there are so many direction it is to be the same with any other addiction like alcohol,video game or jenga or anything that it the source is not the issue it was the other factors and variables that led to it.
Also I think porn is a chicken of the egg situation most of it is male oriented and at the same time there is still a stigma to men who watch it.
Plus we are at an impasse when it comes to sexuality. Now better sex education would be a plus but at the same time people will look side ways at anyone aspiring to be a porn star shady parts of the industry besided and we still have tradtional expectations that we might be unconscious of.. I mean the even the argument "teaching young guys the wrong thing" implies the sex is something that a guy does to a woman not a shared activity.
Then there is the argument "prevents guys from going out and meeting women" that rubs me the wrong way. I mean unless this guy is shut off and just wacking it then we have a much bigger problem than the porn at that moment. That statement just keeps the status quo in check of men having to initiate relationships or stigma of males being single through long periods of time as being abject failures to the point of discounting everything else in their lives.
Again there are so many direction it is to be the same with any other addiction like alcohol,video game or jenga or anything that it the source is not the issue it was the other factors and variables that led to it.
So basically instead of owning up to the fact that you and your partner had a serious case of bad/lacking communication you would rather blame porn?Danbo Jambo said:
Dont get me wrong but if you and your partner both decided to have a threesome with a woman and it turned out your partner didnt like you sleeping with said other women, shouldnt she have said something? Shouldnt you have talked to her about your experience after the first time? Shouldnt you two have been more honest?
Sounds more like you and your partner where wayyyyy to naive about all of this.
The fact that you both kept going even thought she aparantly hated seeing you please other woman sexually tells me that porn was the least of your relationships problems.
Blaming media for your own failure is just a copout im afraid. Its the same as blaming violent video games for mass shootings or Dungeons and Dragons for turning kids into satanists. You where two adult beings that should have known better.
You have no one else but yourselfe to blame in this scenario.
I feel like there are concrete effects that might be negative in excess, but I think people on both sides are pushing too hard on an agenda to approach the issue evenhandedly, like how antigun campaigns use shock value instead of actually approaching the statistics like they should have, and getting useful results. There's ways to make arguments without resorting to basically lying for political gain.
I've got no idea how many people consume porn and get negative side effects from it, I'm sure like anything addictive it will affect everyone differently.
Personally I started really putting the brakes on when I realized that it can mess with what I perceive as attractive or stimulating, and maybe desensitize/mess with taste. It never really turned me or anyone I know into a crazy pervert shower peeping freak, but then again, who would be that honest about that kind of thing.
I find it as a nice distraction, just looking at pics (when appropriate), but I always worry about whether it becomes an obsession or not, or whether it can affect judgement in things. One thing I compare it to is fashion, or cars, I mean you look at things long enough and your taste does evolve. Well mine has greatly over the years.
I believe if you're old and mature enough to look at it, you can be conscious enough to know when it's time to back off or go for it. For most people it should be natural, but just keep aware and try to avoid any false self-denials. Only then it will be totally harmless, and heck probably even healthy to some extent.
Personally I started really putting the brakes on when I realized that it can mess with what I perceive as attractive or stimulating, and maybe desensitize/mess with taste. It never really turned me or anyone I know into a crazy pervert shower peeping freak, but then again, who would be that honest about that kind of thing.
I find it as a nice distraction, just looking at pics (when appropriate), but I always worry about whether it becomes an obsession or not, or whether it can affect judgement in things. One thing I compare it to is fashion, or cars, I mean you look at things long enough and your taste does evolve. Well mine has greatly over the years.
I believe if you're old and mature enough to look at it, you can be conscious enough to know when it's time to back off or go for it. For most people it should be natural, but just keep aware and try to avoid any false self-denials. Only then it will be totally harmless, and heck probably even healthy to some extent.
Porn would be better if education around sex was better, conditions in the porn industry weren't so sleazy, and if porn had some fucking quality to it.
Yeah, it's the sleaziness and the exploitative nature of the porn industry that generally makes me feel uneasy. To me there's just something unwholesome to it.
My sex education suggested that the best free porn was the unlimited boundaries of the imagination.
It's like what I learned in kindergarten finger-painting and Sesame Street still applies when I'm all grown up.
My sex education suggested that the best free porn was the unlimited boundaries of the imagination.
It's like what I learned in kindergarten finger-painting and Sesame Street still applies when I'm all grown up.