Announcements That Could Destroy Gaming Culture

[Jenova65]

Headline: "Jack Thompson elected President of the United States. Joins Prime Ministers Keith Vaz and Michael Atkinson of the United Kingdom and Australia in war on games. Poor left to starve in the streets in light of this far more important development."

You forgot Boris Johnson ;-)

 

[Jenova65]

"George Lucas to produce Mass Effect 3, stating: 'We are going for a cinematic experience and looking at new ways of controlling your character in the game.'"

*Cries* Why would you say such a thing? Even in jest...... I need a bit of a lie down now, so yeah, thanks a bunch ;-)

 

[AWAR]

"AMD and INTEL join together to produce console only hardware, abandoning the PC gaming platform"
"Steam is shut down, no refunds"

 

[Bloody Crimson]

Due to the popularity of the Wii, all the gaming companies will soon release motion control devices that should...

Oh. Damn.

Yup. This could sum it up.

 

[1066]

Day 1
"Government to limit number of game licenses allowable per year."

Day 2
"Coalition for decreased violence in Media lobbyists secure advanced rights to 192 of 200 licenses a year for five years."

Day 3
"CDVM distributes licenses to Dora the Explorer, Arthur, Lambchop's play along, other kid-friendly classics free of charge."

Day 6
"Final 8 licenses accounted for. 5 for Barney the dinosaur. 3 for the Wiggles."

Day 173
"Barney's musical sing-along game made mandatory material for grades 1 - 5."

 

[Eggsnham]

"gaming will only be allowed as a way of converting children to christianity, and must have a mandatory level of propaganda to be legalized."

I saw your avatar and immediately thought that you were me and someone hacked my account.. Holy shit! Then I remembered that we're just sharing avatars.. Phew.

OT: All video games must pass through ESRB (or your regional rating company) which is now controlled by both Jack Thompson and Michael Atkinson. That would suck

 

[Slaanax]

A 10 KM asteroid is colliding with the earth as we speak.

 

[AfroTree]

"God of War III will be exclusive to the PS3 only" :3

I can see it now, "GAMING!, and THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST!"

yes, after that, EVERYONE would be christian -.-"


Not flamebait, please dont take it as such

 

[Obrien Xp]

Games banned in (insert influential country here).

Anything like that, if all gaming has to be underground then the culture will only last as long as governments don't seriously crack down on it.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

A 10 KM asteroid is colliding with the earth as we speak.

I'm guessing the dude in the "asteroids" space ship let on get past huh?

also;

"There are hundreds of shambleing zombies in the streets, who will save us?"

and I will whisper "No"... wait a minute wrong context.

 

[ECasThat]

world wide EMP

 

[mobsterlobster]

GLaDOS is now in control. Please queue in a quiet and orderly fashion for extermination.

To be honest, if we were all gonna be exterminated, I'd love it if GLaDOS did it. I'd be so starstruck.

 

[hamster mk 4]

New drug therapy enables 50+ year olds to attain super human reflexes. Legions of geriatrics descend upon steam, PSN, and Xbox live pwning their children/grandchildren.

 

[Koganesaga]

Due to global stock conditions, governments around the world are forced to siphon off the cash from gaming companies and are permanently shut down.

 

[Tucker154]

Project Natal and Wii popularity.Video games are meant to be playing sitting down and relaxing,not up moving around and destroying tvs and windows!

 

[300lb. Samoan]

"Nuclear Launch Detected."

"Greetings Dr. Faulken - Shall we play a game?"

Of course that doesn't just destroy gaming culture, but you can be damn sure no one in the future would ever have the cojones to try making any more interactive entertainment software.

 

[aegios187]

Uwe Boll has been voted in as the Global Director for the Unified Global Game Development Consortium, Uwe has appointed Michael Bay as his second in command.

 

[Wicky_42]

"Breaking news: False cynicism and affected disenchantment with the world no longer cool!"

But but but... what would we make threads about whilst we're not gaming?! We might have to take up other activities... which could distract us from gaming! Noo - the end as we know it!

 

[rythter]

bruce campbell and chuck norris are killed by uwe boll