Announcements That Could Destroy Gaming Culture

[ShadowsofHope]

"The team at Bungie finally admits it was kidding - there will be at three more Halo installments within the coming years. However, they have also released some rather shocking news.. there will be a plot this time."

 

[Arcticflame]

"Valve being shut down. Steam taken offline for good."

That wouldn't be a bad thing. All Valve has done is Half-Life, Half-Life remakes, and a program that forced itself onto my hard drive.

And Team fortress 1 & 2, Portal, Left 4 Dead 1 & 2, Day of Defeat 1 & 2 and counter-strike source.

And ricochet and deathmatch classic.

 

[liljabba]

UN agrees with Michael Atkinson, gamers are officially considered more dangerous then biker gangs. Gamers worldwide are now being apprehended in sting operations by police after being offered free Cheetos and a Natal to curb-stomp to confirm affiliation with games.

 

[demoman_chaos]

And Team fortress 1 & 2, Portal, Left 4 Dead 1 & 2, Day of Defeat 1 & 2 and counter-strike source.

All of which are Half-Life in everything but look, weapons, maps, and teamwork needed. They are really just mods you gotta pay for.

 

[Arcticflame]

And Team fortress 1 & 2, Portal, Left 4 Dead 1 & 2, Day of Defeat 1 & 2 and counter-strike source.

All of which are Half-Life in everything but look, weapons, maps, and teamwork needed. They are really just mods you gotta pay for.

So basically they are nothing like half-life bar them all being fps?

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Games are proven to cause cancer.

Somewhat I believe a large amount of gamers would strug this of with a half hearted, "Oh well, I die happy"

 

[TheRocketeer]

They can and do happen, to varying extents. But what can you see ushering in the Gamepocalypse? Here's mine:

"Uwe Boll to Direct Half-Life Film Trilogy"

Gee, I had no idea gaming culture was so fragile.

You'll get used to it.

Although, I feel obligated to point out with some degree of disappointment that this is one of the only offerings that sparked any kind of intra-thread discussion, mainly centering on why Gordan Freemon's inviolable character is anachronistically and unironically derived from his simply not having any.

Games are proven to cause cancer.

Somewhat I believe a large amount of gamers would strug this of with a half hearted, "Oh well, I die happy"

Close examination of this very thread will reveal several examples of both the "gaming is lethal" offerings and multiple quotes of each of these stating that that's totally okay by them.

I think what I've unintentionally proven through this thread is that gaming culture is ultimately indestructible because, working on a standard definition of culture, there is no such thing. Killing off gaming culture therefore consists of nothing more than killing off all gamers.

Let's get started.

 

[Premonition]

Ummm....

"US bans M-rated video games due to surge in youth violence"

If the US bans it, then luckily the rest of the world can still develop games. I think your headline should read: Global annexation of the Mature rating in videogames due to surge in youth violence

But what I think will be the end of videogames as we know it is if religions get a tighter grip on the world and get seated in a lot of political offices, like presidency even.

Quite apart from the fact that many religious people do hold high office, some well and some badly, this is a ludicrously shortsighted claim insomuch as non-religious systems of belief are very often just as detructive to freedom and "liberty of expression" as any twisting of a religious belief (cf Stalinism, Maoism, Nazism, etc)

Almost everywhere, the religious part is always balanced by a non-religious part. And, not everyone who are catholic are devoted. What I was talking about were the religious people that follow the beliefs of the Vatican like they were from God or something ... And that they would get sole power.

 

[Mar451]

Michael Atkinson wins Noble Peace Prize

Uwe Boll wins Best Directer for Alone in the Dark 3

Blizzard, Valve, Ubisoft, Rockstar, Nintindo, Sony, all announce plans to quit their organizations and instead retire to New Orleans to gamble their profits away.

Microsoft buys the world and forces everyone to mine for goal on space colonies, make us watch Halo Legends in our sleep and on our break time play Halo 3 ODST 5.

 

[Nomanslander]

In 2015 Miniclip will have purchased every game studio in the world turning them into flash game factories

In 2015 all games that require you to play by hand are considered baby toys...0o

 

[Paksenarrion]

"Nuclear Launch Detected."

"You must construct additional pylons."

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Bungie: "Master Chief is homosexual"

can you imagine what would you would hear playing Halo online?

 

[Biosophilogical]

Games are proven to cause cancer.

I'd still play, and I know a lot of peple on here still would. Alternatively, "Michael Atkinson achieves enough omnipotence for one deed." and out of all the good he could do, he'd still prioritise destroying any and all offensive material in games over let's say ... world peace.

 

[Hobo Joe]

All games will now come with paid subscription fees, no dedicated servers and over IWNet. The horror.... the horror!!

 

[wunderguy]

'enemy ac130 airbourne'

on a serious note

'Activision Blizzard has gone. Bye bye starcraft 2, WoW, and diablo 3.'

 

[Lim3]

"Studies have found that video games can have a number of negative effects on people including:
- violent tendencies
- muscle degeneration
- vitamin D deficiency
- impotency in men
- early menopause in women
- a disease known as "gamer-itis" where games of any sort resault in mental retardation. It is estimated that for every 1 minute spent in from of any sort of game the loss of 1 IQ point results. The exception for this rule is Facebook's Farmville. Any gamers found on this game already have less then 25 IQ points.

On the lighter side of news here is an article about a water skiing cat..."

 

[Kermi]

"Video game discussion no longer permitted on internet forums."

"Xbox live disables in-game chat."

"Michael Atkinson elected Prime Minister of Australia."