Anti Joke time

[Connor Lonske]

(Upon looking at a monster)
"Dear god, look at how big that is!"

"That's not what she said to me, but to my cousin when she cheated on me."

 

[Tzekelkan]

- Why are they called the Dark Ages?
- Becaue the term refers to a perceived period of cultural and economic decline and disruption that took place in Western Europe following the decline of the Roman Empire.

- A hydrogen atom said to the other, "I think I lost my electron."
- "Let's look for it."

- Your mum's so fat she needs to go on a diet.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Ok this is a C&H comic

Spoiler

EDIT needed to add the spoiler tags

Does that work? Too Dark? Not an Anti-Joke?

 

[SwimmingRock]

An Atheist, a Christian and a Discordian meet in a bar. After several drinks, they've come to the conclusion that they're each upstanding citizens and their individual beliefs regarding the nature of life, the universe and everything are a personal matter of lesser importance than how one puts ones beliefs into practice. The Discordian then skips on the bill while the Atheist and Christian are in the loo.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

Anything the Neil Hamburger says. That man is a genius.

 

[Apophis47_NZ]

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Why did the chiken cross the road?

Because it needed to go to the farm and tell his friends he has AIDs.

...Yeah, wouldn't you slap me if I told that one?

(Slaps self)

(Please don't put me on probation).

 

[LewsTherin]

A priest, a Mexican, and an Irishman go to a bar. They each order something to drink and enjoy the evening.

 

[Hazy]

Robin asks Batman what his parents are getting him for Christmas...

-snip-

Spoiler: It's dangerous to go alone, take this:

...for making me laugh so damn hard.

OT: The Joker's line from A Serious House on Serious Earth:

"The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fool! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'"

 

[Muffinthraka]

Two gooseberries in an airing cupboard, which one is in the military?



Neither they don't meet the minimum height limit.






Plus: THEY'RE GOOSEBERRIES!!!!!

 

[theguitarhero6]

What do you call a black pilot?
A black pilot, you racist.

 

[Muffinthraka]

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar,
They drink their drinks but don't say anything until finally the Irishman says;
"So what the fuck happened to the Welshman?"

 

[VeX1le]

What do you call a Black pilot?
"A pilot you racist"

Edit: Shit ninja'd uh

Wanna Hear a clean joke?

Spoiler

A Boy fell in mud

 

[Poomanchu745]

Why did the man kill the hooker?
Because he didn't want to pay her.
Nobody cared.

 

[Muffinthraka]

What do you call a Black pilot?
"A pilot you racist"

Or... his name?

 

[Lamorian]

Whats blue and white and sits in a tree?
A fridge with jeans on.

 

[Kushin]

Why did the endangered bird leave the rainforest?

Because it's habitat was destroyed by deforestation from an international lumber conglomerate.

 

[Muffinthraka]

Two deaf old men on a bus with the windows wide open.
The First one says; "It's windy today".
The second one says; "What did you say about me!?"