Barack Obama legalizes Marijuana
- Thread starter CrysisMcGee
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"America and Japan team up to create mecha army, take over world."
"Obama talks to town-hallers, flips bird while piloting Mobile Suit."
"Fox News crushed in giant mecha fight, survivors Glenn Beck, Hannity, and Coulter drilled through by Gurren Lagann."
"Disney attempts to make live-action Haruhi movie, instantly crushed and burned by Japanese mecha. Unemployed teen stars hired as Eva pilots."
Noticing a theme here?
"Obama talks to town-hallers, flips bird while piloting Mobile Suit."
"Fox News crushed in giant mecha fight, survivors Glenn Beck, Hannity, and Coulter drilled through by Gurren Lagann."
"Disney attempts to make live-action Haruhi movie, instantly crushed and burned by Japanese mecha. Unemployed teen stars hired as Eva pilots."
Noticing a theme here?
Damn, that could be a problem. I such at geography, and maps are for the weak!rokkolpo said:
Aayway, if I ever do find Holland, I'm more likly just to settle down and live there. It sounds like a pretty fun place =D
"Tony Blair hanged for treason" would be a good start.
"Vatican's secret archive stolen and published in full" would make a great next day.
"Murdoch's orders to deceive public revealed in leaked e-mail" would nicely fill a page or two.
"Gunman executes corrupt MPs. Lone survivor 'bewildered'."
"'Honour killing' interrupted by snipers. Target free to choose own clothes and husband."
"Laws against dangerous driving to be enforced."
"Clegg abolishes post of Minister for Football."
"Formula 1 banned, called 'most boring cause of climate change ever'."
"National railway network to be built."
"Cable, Davey and Farron agree new 'Solar Britain' plan."
"Pope reverses position, says even his friends mustn't abuse children."
"All Sony properties confiscated after third wave of 'rootkit' offences. Computer-hijacking corporation banned from trading in Europe."
"Non-viewer wins harassment case against TV Licensing."
"UN's fortified 'green' town in Darfur celebrates two trouble-free years."
"Vatican's secret archive stolen and published in full" would make a great next day.
"Murdoch's orders to deceive public revealed in leaked e-mail" would nicely fill a page or two.
"Gunman executes corrupt MPs. Lone survivor 'bewildered'."
"'Honour killing' interrupted by snipers. Target free to choose own clothes and husband."
"Laws against dangerous driving to be enforced."
"Clegg abolishes post of Minister for Football."
"Formula 1 banned, called 'most boring cause of climate change ever'."
"National railway network to be built."
"Cable, Davey and Farron agree new 'Solar Britain' plan."
"Pope reverses position, says even his friends mustn't abuse children."
"All Sony properties confiscated after third wave of 'rootkit' offences. Computer-hijacking corporation banned from trading in Europe."
"Non-viewer wins harassment case against TV Licensing."
"UN's fortified 'green' town in Darfur celebrates two trouble-free years."
I'm pretty sure prostitution and Marijuana will never be legal in the United States. Not with 80% of the population being part of a religion, and we all know how religious people view Brothels and Cannabis.
On Topic: "This just in! In order to vote, people will need to take a test which will give information how educated the voter is when it comes to the thing he/she votes for/against."
On Topic: "This just in! In order to vote, people will need to take a test which will give information how educated the voter is when it comes to the thing he/she votes for/against."
i would love to hear
"Today EA has declared that they will actually start making decent games which aren't sports related"
also
"Duke Nukem forever = everything yahtzee ever said"
"Today EA has declared that they will actually start making decent games which aren't sports related"
also
"Duke Nukem forever = everything yahtzee ever said"
Top story today: (AP) In a history-changing move, world leaders have unanimously agreed to immediately outlaw stupidity in all its forms regardless of race, religion, gender, political affiliation, sexual preference or financial standing. All UN countries agreed to abide by this law within 24 hours of its signing, with massive efforts being put forth to round up all international dipshits.
This new global law, known as the "International Declaration of Intellectually Oppressed Territories" Or the I.D.I.O.T. act, has already been put into law in every member nation, with local law enforcement to begin mass arrests of individuals deemed too stupid to be useful. Wrestling audiences, daytime talk show viewers and fans of "Twilight" have already been apprehended and shipped off to an undisclosed location. It would seem that local Wal-Marts have become somewhat of a safe haven for the stupid among us as raw, unbridled stupidity is not easy to spot, initially. But free giveaways of budweiser hats and NASCAR merchandise in the parking lots have thusfar been very successful in exposing the holdouts.
No word on areas outside of North America reporting any substantial numbers of stupidity yet, but we'll keep you updated as the story unfolds.
Update: Rumours have been confirmed that Australia, once the depository for Britan's criminals and malcontents, will now be renamed "Stupidia" and all people deemed to be of low enough IQ (Or FOX news viewers) will be tranquilized, tagged, and carefully shipped via FedEx to Stupidia en masse, to work full time in the massive hemp fields and processing plants providing a much needed workforce for the country's new main industry of hemp and cannabis production since the Obama-Marijuana pact was signed earlier this year. The act, which not only legalizes but encourages the citizens of the world to grow and consume hemp products has been hailed by scholars and lawmakers as "The best fucking idea ever."
In an ironic twist, after geologists and agrigulturalists surveyed the Stupidian countryside and "Outbacks" of the country formerly known as Australia looking for suitable places to grow the hemp and marijuana crops, it was found that 42.0 percent of these areas already had the plant growing on them, thereby saving the federal government literally billions of dollars in startup costs. In an unrelated story, the street cost of marijuana in Stupidia is now 7 times the normal rate, with its newest citizens buying it up by the pound despite the fact that the majority of them could simply pick it up by the bushel from the government for free, as per union rules.
In other news: Stupidia, the former british penal colony known as "Australia" has now been filled to capacity, as 98% of the United States' central and southern population has been shipped there since the I.D.I.O.T act was put in place less than 24 hours ago. Unfortunately for the United States, this also included the majority of the Presidential Cabinet, 78% of Congress, and in a strange twist of fate, the president himself. Obama was arrested while grabbing a burger at a local Los Angeles eatery, after a bootleg DVD of "Twilight" was found in his laptop. As he was being led away by the LAPD, Obama was heard to say "But I don't even LIKE Twilight! It was Malia Ann's DVD! IT WAS MALIA ANN'S DVD!" The officers were so startled by the outburst from the black president that for their own safety they instinctively tasered him 37 times.
Britain, France and the entire European Union have yet to gather up all their respective morons, as a technical loophole has been found in the law; Once the majority of citizens in the aforementioned Nations realized that most of America is now living in Stupidia and can no longer influence the rest of the world, they agreed it was a pretty good idea thereby temporarily removing themselves from the stupid list. Authorities are confident that once the initial satisfaction wears off, the remaining stupid people of the world will eventually be rounded up.
Canada however, has seen only approximately 2.3% of it's population forced to move to Stupidia, but they were mostly Celine Dion fans from Quebec so nobody really noticed anyway.
In an unrelated story, an unprecedented number of international governments have donated a total of over 2.5 billion dollars to the U.S.'s Paramount Pictures to produce "Transformers 3: Megan Fox Totally Naked".
Michael Bay has of course already been brought on board as Writer/Director, stating "They're giving me HOW MUCH FUCKING MONEY?" Megan Fox will be replaced by a computer generated character, as the producers feel this will make her acting more "lifelike" and Shia LaBeouf will once again play the loveable Sam Witwicki, as soon as his whereabouts are determined.
The movie will have simultaneous openings in every participating country, where movie theatres are being specially built for the event. The all concrete theatres will all have exits leading to "Courtesy shuttles" which will take the lucky (And properly screened) "VIP" moviegoers on a deluxe all inclusive "Hollywood style" trip home.
The shuttles, which will have tinted windows for privacy and will only lock from the outside for safety, are said to be the most expensive mass transportation project ever conceived. Each shuttle can hold up to 50 people and are equipped with 4 point seatbelts and shackles for extra safety and plenty of refreshments for everyone. Transformers 3: Megan Fox Totally Naked opens internationally this December.
If I don't get a writing gig soon, my brain might just eat itself...
This new global law, known as the "International Declaration of Intellectually Oppressed Territories" Or the I.D.I.O.T. act, has already been put into law in every member nation, with local law enforcement to begin mass arrests of individuals deemed too stupid to be useful. Wrestling audiences, daytime talk show viewers and fans of "Twilight" have already been apprehended and shipped off to an undisclosed location. It would seem that local Wal-Marts have become somewhat of a safe haven for the stupid among us as raw, unbridled stupidity is not easy to spot, initially. But free giveaways of budweiser hats and NASCAR merchandise in the parking lots have thusfar been very successful in exposing the holdouts.
No word on areas outside of North America reporting any substantial numbers of stupidity yet, but we'll keep you updated as the story unfolds.
Update: Rumours have been confirmed that Australia, once the depository for Britan's criminals and malcontents, will now be renamed "Stupidia" and all people deemed to be of low enough IQ (Or FOX news viewers) will be tranquilized, tagged, and carefully shipped via FedEx to Stupidia en masse, to work full time in the massive hemp fields and processing plants providing a much needed workforce for the country's new main industry of hemp and cannabis production since the Obama-Marijuana pact was signed earlier this year. The act, which not only legalizes but encourages the citizens of the world to grow and consume hemp products has been hailed by scholars and lawmakers as "The best fucking idea ever."
In an ironic twist, after geologists and agrigulturalists surveyed the Stupidian countryside and "Outbacks" of the country formerly known as Australia looking for suitable places to grow the hemp and marijuana crops, it was found that 42.0 percent of these areas already had the plant growing on them, thereby saving the federal government literally billions of dollars in startup costs. In an unrelated story, the street cost of marijuana in Stupidia is now 7 times the normal rate, with its newest citizens buying it up by the pound despite the fact that the majority of them could simply pick it up by the bushel from the government for free, as per union rules.
In other news: Stupidia, the former british penal colony known as "Australia" has now been filled to capacity, as 98% of the United States' central and southern population has been shipped there since the I.D.I.O.T act was put in place less than 24 hours ago. Unfortunately for the United States, this also included the majority of the Presidential Cabinet, 78% of Congress, and in a strange twist of fate, the president himself. Obama was arrested while grabbing a burger at a local Los Angeles eatery, after a bootleg DVD of "Twilight" was found in his laptop. As he was being led away by the LAPD, Obama was heard to say "But I don't even LIKE Twilight! It was Malia Ann's DVD! IT WAS MALIA ANN'S DVD!" The officers were so startled by the outburst from the black president that for their own safety they instinctively tasered him 37 times.
Britain, France and the entire European Union have yet to gather up all their respective morons, as a technical loophole has been found in the law; Once the majority of citizens in the aforementioned Nations realized that most of America is now living in Stupidia and can no longer influence the rest of the world, they agreed it was a pretty good idea thereby temporarily removing themselves from the stupid list. Authorities are confident that once the initial satisfaction wears off, the remaining stupid people of the world will eventually be rounded up.
Canada however, has seen only approximately 2.3% of it's population forced to move to Stupidia, but they were mostly Celine Dion fans from Quebec so nobody really noticed anyway.
In an unrelated story, an unprecedented number of international governments have donated a total of over 2.5 billion dollars to the U.S.'s Paramount Pictures to produce "Transformers 3: Megan Fox Totally Naked".
Michael Bay has of course already been brought on board as Writer/Director, stating "They're giving me HOW MUCH FUCKING MONEY?" Megan Fox will be replaced by a computer generated character, as the producers feel this will make her acting more "lifelike" and Shia LaBeouf will once again play the loveable Sam Witwicki, as soon as his whereabouts are determined.
The movie will have simultaneous openings in every participating country, where movie theatres are being specially built for the event. The all concrete theatres will all have exits leading to "Courtesy shuttles" which will take the lucky (And properly screened) "VIP" moviegoers on a deluxe all inclusive "Hollywood style" trip home.
The shuttles, which will have tinted windows for privacy and will only lock from the outside for safety, are said to be the most expensive mass transportation project ever conceived. Each shuttle can hold up to 50 people and are equipped with 4 point seatbelts and shackles for extra safety and plenty of refreshments for everyone. Transformers 3: Megan Fox Totally Naked opens internationally this December.
If I don't get a writing gig soon, my brain might just eat itself...
