THIS JUST IN! After years of study and research, German Professor I. Hart-secks has finally found a way to make the justice system actually work! He has presented a new method of determining innocence in a court room that will reduce the months of a textbook homicide trial into about a half hour. Also, the deliberation of the defendants innocence has replaced the need for a jury with a new, totally and completely flawless system, making the need to call in people for jury duty totally obsolete and pointless.
Also, I'm getting word that the government has issued a new law stating that any DMV employees who take more that one 5 minute break at a time will be given the death penalty.
I'm also hearing that Donald Trump has gone insane and started to throw all his money, in thousand dollar bills, off of the Trump Tower in New York.
What a wonderful day, eh folks?