BDSM and You!
- Thread starter Kinokohatake
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Ok ... I have one question I am absolutely dying to ask ...
... Did /b/ kick you out for being too tame?
I don't know if this is against any Escapist rules, mentioning another website in existence n'all, but shit dude .. there must be better places for you to grasp at psuedo-porn-straws. Shhiiit.
... Did /b/ kick you out for being too tame?
I don't know if this is against any Escapist rules, mentioning another website in existence n'all, but shit dude .. there must be better places for you to grasp at psuedo-porn-straws. Shhiiit.
I basically agree with this, but what really bakes my crumpet is that "oh, only closet rapists/abused people really like that stuff!" You know nothing about it, so you can just as well shut the fuck up.Caligulas.dog said:
Well, you can't stop people from doing it, and I do believe that everyone should do what he or she wants to do as long as it doesn't harm/annoy others, I'd say go ahead. It's definitely not for me, I will say.
On your point of ''Every man who does it is a serial rapist'' I find to be completely bonkers and even somewhat discriminating. At least it's stereotypical, which does make more sense then people actually wanting to discriminate, but who am I to judge.
On your point of ''Every man who does it is a serial rapist'' I find to be completely bonkers and even somewhat discriminating. At least it's stereotypical, which does make more sense then people actually wanting to discriminate, but who am I to judge.
^^ well what ever turns you on i guess....i have to admit i can not deal with any form of pain but other then that i would say i'm submissive and i don.'t mind some of the bondage side of it i guess...-shrugs-
Nah no problems really, as shown by my main problem with this thread being the ubiquitousness of a certain metaphor. Come on people! He's only got one boat at most, and it can only be floated so many times!
Eh, I'm mildly interested, but if I was ever in a situation, I would never force it on someone who didn't want to. It'd be like a bonus is they did though.
Eh, not my thing but I don't have a problem with people practicing it, consenting adults and so forth, but I personally tend to shy away from pain and I don't like the thought of hurting someone I'm in a relationship with.
Again, consenting adults, blah blah blah.
However, "consenting" needs to be strongly emphasised. I'm sure there are people who are quite happy with BDSM, and who are fed up with people saying they are sick.
Likewise, there's people who have have been pressured or coerced into it and were traumatised by it, and who do not enjoy being badgered by BDSM enthusiasts who insist they were "doing it wrong" and that sort of thing only happens in everything else except BDSM. And/or assume everyone not into it is a prude or in denial, and there are no legitimate criticisms to be made.
However, "consenting" needs to be strongly emphasised. I'm sure there are people who are quite happy with BDSM, and who are fed up with people saying they are sick.
Likewise, there's people who have have been pressured or coerced into it and were traumatised by it, and who do not enjoy being badgered by BDSM enthusiasts who insist they were "doing it wrong" and that sort of thing only happens in everything else except BDSM. And/or assume everyone not into it is a prude or in denial, and there are no legitimate criticisms to be made.
While of course the usual qualifiers of personal choice and like apply the sentiment expressed isn't totally unbelievable given the sadism part of BDSM, though why only men can be sadist I have no idea.Thomas Guy said:
Just because you aren't party to that type of person, doesn't mean they won't be out there.
My GF and and I have into the BDSM scene for about 2 years now. And what can I say, we both have a lot of fun with it.
BDSM is all about trust to us. You have to really trust your lover to engage in these activities, and to me BDSM is the ultimate expression of trust.
For those people who said 'I don't like abusing women, derpa, derp.' It's not abuse, dumbasses. I have zero tolerance for abusive relationships, however BDSM is between to consenting adults. And for a lot of these people who are into it; the infliction of pain during an S&M scene is registered as pleasure.
And after I'm done with a scene with my gf, I give her after care, which is basically cuddling. Sometimes you have to do that after a intense scene, because a sub sometimes run high on endorphins, that she gets a little spacy, and need to comes down.
On a further note, my gf and I have gone to a lot of BDSM play parties, and I have to say, these are some of the nicest people I've ever met!
And [Mod Edit: Link Removed. Discussing the topic generically is one thing, but linking to these kind of sites is a bit much.] rules.
BDSM is all about trust to us. You have to really trust your lover to engage in these activities, and to me BDSM is the ultimate expression of trust.
For those people who said 'I don't like abusing women, derpa, derp.' It's not abuse, dumbasses. I have zero tolerance for abusive relationships, however BDSM is between to consenting adults. And for a lot of these people who are into it; the infliction of pain during an S&M scene is registered as pleasure.
And after I'm done with a scene with my gf, I give her after care, which is basically cuddling. Sometimes you have to do that after a intense scene, because a sub sometimes run high on endorphins, that she gets a little spacy, and need to comes down.
On a further note, my gf and I have gone to a lot of BDSM play parties, and I have to say, these are some of the nicest people I've ever met!
And [Mod Edit: Link Removed. Discussing the topic generically is one thing, but linking to these kind of sites is a bit much.] rules.
I'm a big fan of bondage; the usage, the gear itself. Especially the Japanese rope work, I think it's beautiful. BDSM as a culture tends to go a lot of places I'm not interested in. Things like branding and watersports, etc. That being said, I don't judge anyone on their kinks. Sex is a great thing, experimenting and finding out what turns you on is great fun.
Yeah, there's always the stereotypes and the people who don't know or don't care enough to learn. That's just because people tend to be dismissive and afraid of things they don't understand. But a fetish wouldn't be a fetish if everyone understood it.
Yeah, there's always the stereotypes and the people who don't know or don't care enough to learn. That's just because people tend to be dismissive and afraid of things they don't understand. But a fetish wouldn't be a fetish if everyone understood it.
Pretty much this. Anyone who has been in a real BDSM relationship understands that the submissive is the one with all the control. A Dom/Top isn't claiming what's his or hers, he or she being given a gift by the sub/slave/bottom. It can be very emotionally powerful and actually quite touching at times. It's been a few years since I had a relationship like that, but it was very special to see my submissive girlfriend crying joyful tears after a very emotional session.DeathWyrmNexus said:
Y'know it took me ages of practicing to be able to touch type with my hands tied behind my back, then I realized I could just use my nose, or a pencil in my mouth :S
I love being tied up, even if nots sexually orientated, I find nothing more relaxing than being bound on the couch while watching a movie.
I love being tied up, even if nots sexually orientated, I find nothing more relaxing than being bound on the couch while watching a movie.
RE: The rape thing, go check out a couple of threads on XKCD, a few of them lead to in-depth discussions about what constitutes rape, the conclusion reached was that if you have any kind of power over your partner sex could constitute rape. That means if you're married, it's rape (theres that whole wifely duties thing), live together? rape (where do I live if he/she breaks up with me? better keep him/her happy), cooked dinner? rape (I owe him/her for cooking dinner).
I have 0 interest in it myself, partially due to the fact that I've never liked the idea of being tied up, or tying other people up, but also because this series called Empowered has gradually made me incredibly uncomfortable with the thought. Yes, it requires a great deal of trust, but I have this thing called a sense of self-preservation, and it's telling me that trust only goes so far before you are basically committing assisted suicide, for some reason BDSM steps into that territory.
I am perfectly ok with what you do with your life as long as it is fully consentual (or at least partially, hehehehe!) but I have a highly active sensory defensiveness going on for me combined with an instantanious panic/rage that is associated with retraint of any kind, i.e. I cannot be handcuffed without panicking or entering a blind rage thus I completely opt out of BDSM.
Plus I am neither a Dominant nor Submissive type.
Plus I am neither a Dominant nor Submissive type.