rancher of monsters said:
So most guys here have probably been taught on some level how to be a gentleman in their respective culture. As an American, I was raised to open a door for a lady, to pull out her seat, and a few other rules of etiquette. But I feel at the same time that a large number of woman often don't recognize some of these things as gentlemanly, or simply don't expect them at all. So I thought on this thread we guys would throw out some of the rules we were raised with, and see if these are things that a lady would appreciate or even recognize as gentlemanly behavior. Example, one of the more recent rules I learned was that if I'm walking along with a lady I should be on the side of her closest to the street. The thinking there I would assume is that I could protect her from a splash or I could push her out of the way if a car lost control.
I think in terms of acts that could be considered 'chivalrous', you are right different women consider different things as 'gentlemanly'. I don't think this has anything to do with how women generally want to be treated though. Really, I think what all women can agree on is attitude. Women just want to be treated with respect, the same as men want from women. Don't spend the whole night thinking about whether or not she will put out when she's trying to have 'get to know you' conversation. Try to get to know her too. If you don't care about anything else, that is what she is testing for, not whether you open the friggin' door for her enough times. A lot of guys are only thinking about sex and she knows it. She isn't going to fall for compliments that are not sincere, if you aren't careful they can make it seem like your buttering her up.
There aren't any conduct 'rules' per se. They are just guidelines to help you come off as thoughtful. It may or may not be some thing she considers, but it isn't the end all and be all of whether she thinks you are a good guy.
On a date a girl want pretty much what an honest guy wants: to find out if you are compatible on an interpersonal level and if you are actually interested in her and not a dick. Your right though, some women will want you to open doors and some will not. Same as men though, some men will want a woman who likes traditional roles and some guys want a woman who will walk
them home at night.
IMO though, opening a door the first time is never a bad thing. Any woman in my eyes that sees you do that and doesn't realize you are trying to be polite and respectful is an idiot and probably a little crazy. Sure she can then tell you she doesn't want it and if you keep doing it after she asked you not to you would be a jerk for not respecting her wishes(some women see these acts as demeaning). But the first time? She should recognize the default politeness and appreciate it.
