Best in Game jokes

[Tribalism]

I laughed more than I should have at a part near the beginning of Uncharted 2 whilst hanging from a rooftop.
"THERE'S A GUY ABOVE YOU, THERE'S A GUY ABOVE YOU"
*Pull him off the rooftop*
"THERE'S A GUY BELOW YOU, THERE'S A GUY BELOW YOU"
Initially, I crapped myself because I was expecting another encounter. Then I had a "I see what you did there" moment. That game had some really good voice acting/characters.

 

[Jaranja]

Perhaps not deliberate 'jokes', but the things your characters say in Killing Floor is quite funny, more so in that typically British accent.

I heard this one for the first time the other day:

"I NEED DRUGS!!!!"

He was asking for a medic. That was pretty funny, just out of the blue.

 

[The Ambrosian]

I love this one simply because i never saw it comin':

This

I was like "NO WAY!!!"

Me too! It totally took me by surprise. Made me go WTF? Did is just hear that?

They showed it in the IGN video review so I didn't really find it funny

 

[Super Toast]

Psychonauts was full of great quotes:

Like Sasha Nein slightly abusing Raz for his experiments: "This won't hurt at all...unless something really bad happens"

Or:
Raz: "They may come for me, Dogen, but they'll be expecting Raz: the boy. But what they'll find is Raz: the Psychonaut!"
Dogen: "And "then you'll make their heads explode?"
Raz: "No! Do you do that?"
Dogen: "No. Well... once, kinda."

Or: "He's impervious to bullets! AND LOVE!"

Or the way Oleander tries to read Raz's Mind in the Intro, effectively killing his "cool" introduction: "My Name..." "STARTS WITH A D!" "...is Razputin"

Ah, so much memories...

Friended because of your love of Psychonauts and Scott Pilgrim. Also, ninja'd.

 

[Angus565]

Pick any quote from Sheogorath in Oblivion.
-YOU dare interrupt ME? Only I interrupt me! Like just then. Not now, we'll talk later.
-Jyggalag's forces are gathering in the Fringe...And I HATE IT when people gather forces in my Fringe!
-I once dug a pit and filled it with clouds....or was it clowns.... well whichever it was it began to smell...Ahah! must have been clowns. Clouds don't smell, they taste of butter. And tears.
-The Isles. THE ISLES! They're a wonderful place to be, except when they are horrible. Then they are HORRIBLY WONDERFUL! Good for a visit! Or for an eternity.

 

[Cheesus333]

I always enjoy a good laugh in a video game. But i wonder what is the best one you guys have heard in a Video game My personally favourite is

GlaDOS: Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like
[in a deep male voice]
GlaDOS: "No way!" And then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you?" That was great!

What was the best in game joke you heard in any game?

I preferred "That was the catalyst cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero." So fucking funny xD
Portal is the best-written game I've ever played. And it has ONE vocal character (discounting the turrets, which are a whole new world of amazing).

 

[MercenaryCanary]

Perhaps not deliberate 'jokes', but the things your characters say in Killing Floor is quite funny, more so in that typically British accent.

"I'm weldin' this doah!"
"Loadsamoneh!!!"
"You're all furcoat and no knickers, bitches!"

Oh god, they were so terrible I just had to laugh.

 

[SomeBoredGuy]

Pretty much the entirety of Timesplitters: Future Perfect can fit into this. The Story mode, the Challenge mode, the Arcade mode, just everything about that game.

 

[Your Nightmare]

you must construct additional...

Oh dear god.
I did not find the Protoss announcer particularly amusing!

OT:
It's hard to say.
But, as it's a very new game and I'm playing it right now, I'm going to go with
DeathSpank
Huge recommendation from here.
I find that all of the dialogue is funny, and some of it laugh-out-loud funny.

Such an awesome game, really!

"Greetings, non-descript citizen!"

I got this over the weekend, I haven't laughed so much at a game in a long time. Recommendation thoroughly seconded.

"If you're only going to play one game this year...
You're obviously not playing enough games!"

;D

Or "Greetings! Non playable character.."

 

[elcamino41383]

I know a lot of people hate Drake from Uncharted, but I love a lot of the things he says in UC2.

and another time when he boosted Chloe up on a ladder "Its a shame you have to sit on something so pretty!"
Many more too I'm just not going to list them all. I get a kick out of him.

How can anyone hate Drake? I can relate to him because he's an assho- Ohhh. Right.

Personally, I really like him. I see everyone's points about him, but it doesn't deter my feelings on the character. XD

I laughed more than I should have at a part near the beginning of Uncharted 2 whilst hanging from a rooftop.
"THERE'S A GUY ABOVE YOU, THERE'S A GUY ABOVE YOU"
*Pull him off the rooftop*
"THERE'S A GUY BELOW YOU, THERE'S A GUY BELOW YOU"
Initially, I crapped myself because I was expecting another encounter. Then I had a "I see what you did there" moment. That game had some really good voice acting/characters.

Loved this one too. Always makes me chuckle without fail.

 

[Not That]

Time to put on my "Self-Important Retro-Gamer Hat" and quote Rincewind from the PC Game Discworld. "I'd like to be the first character in a computer game to use the word 'Fuck'."

 

[Tzekelkan]

A really memorable joke for me was in one of the Splinter Cell games (either Pandorra tomorrow or Chaos Theory):

Fisher: Let me guess. Three alarms and it's over?
Lambert: Don't be ridiculous, Fisher, this isn't a video game.

 

[Zillar]

"Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-***** in space!"
-Gunnery Chief in Mass Effect 2
"Ghouls are people too, so leave your biggotry at the door! ...damn pansy zombie programming..."
-Cerberus from Fallout 3 (paraphrased)
Thug: "What do you want?"
Vault Dweller: "To see a valley filled with my enemies' heads mounted on spears. A silent valley, except for the wind whistling through their ears."
-Fallout

And all the party banter in Dragon Age, specifically Zevran and Wynne, or Zevran and Alistair.

 

[any343]

I really like continually clicking on parachute troopers in Company of Heroes and hearing them yell at me. Like one time it i did he and the guy was like "All right squad, its time to shit kick player 1." Then again, I like doing that with any unit in an RTS

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Dwarf:

'Are you looking for a partner to share a drink?'

Grey Warden:

'Are you looking for a fist to share your face?'

i forgot about this one. i literally lol'd when i saw that one. that was hilarious, it caught me so offguard the first time i saw that.

OT: conkers bad fur day, love all of the quotes in that game,

and idk why..but i just love house of dead overkill, its so bland but i love it.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

I know a lot of people hate Drake from Uncharted, but I love a lot of the things he says in UC2.

and another time when he boosted Chloe up on a ladder "Its a shame you have to sit on something so pretty!"
Many more too I'm just not going to list them all. I get a kick out of him.

How can anyone hate Drake? I can relate to him because he's an assho- Ohhh. Right.

Personally, I really like him. I see everyone's points about him, but it doesn't deter my feelings on the character. XD

I laughed more than I should have at a part near the beginning of Uncharted 2 whilst hanging from a rooftop.
"THERE'S A GUY ABOVE YOU, THERE'S A GUY ABOVE YOU"
*Pull him off the rooftop*
"THERE'S A GUY BELOW YOU, THERE'S A GUY BELOW YOU"
Initially, I crapped myself because I was expecting another encounter. Then I had a "I see what you did there" moment. That game had some really good voice acting/characters.

Loved this one too. Always makes me chuckle without fail.

this too. these are both awesome. personally drake doesn't bug me one bit, especially compared to alot of the people i know in real life, so listening to his jokes are good to me

 

[Josh123914]

i liked in those 90's pokémon games when the AI laughed the screen would have always said fufufufufu

 

[The Madman]

Spoiler: The EPIC encounter with a Beholder in Baldur's Gate 2

Spoiler: My personal favorite dialogue response in ANY RPG EVER from Baldur's Gate. Every RPG needs this option!

Spoiler: And then there's always good ol Jan Jansen to cheer you up with a story or two!

 

[octafish]

Grand Theft Auto's (top down) pedestrians say "I'm walking here!" when you run over them. What can I say, I love Ratso.

I think the biggest missed opportunity in gaming is in ME2, with the Wrex-Shepard reunion. The dialogue should have been.
Wrex: Shepard.
Shepard: Wrex. A pause, and then into the rest of the dialogue.

Barbaric, as Tolstoy wrote, "War what is it good for?"

 

[Flamingpenguin]

As a geek... [from Portal]
Glados: You think you're hurting me? Hah! I'm FINE! 2+2= BZZZZZZZRT ...10. IN BASE 4 I'M FINE!

Hehe math jokes. See it's funny because... aww never mind. I'm too much of a geek. xD But really, it is funny. I promise.

I never heard that one while I was playing! Sounds like one of the few things I would have laughed at.

Well I'm glad someone else gets it. xD