Books you would hate to see turned into a movie

[Queen Michael]

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Marukami.

It's my favourite book, but there's no way I can see it even remotely translating well to the screen.

It's awesome, isn't it? I'm currently rereading it. And yeah, it wouldn't make a good movie.

Catcher in the Rye. As far as I know it isn't a film...but a film of it would be awful. The book is brilliant not because of it's plot but because of it's narrative which, obviously, would be completely lost in a film adaptation.

So true. The entire point is that you see everything through the wonderful narration. The great thing about the narration is that it isn't pretentious in any way. It's written the way people talk. A film director would be sure to include stuff like beautiful music, stylish camera angles, and stuff like that, and that way he'd make it more artistic than it's supposed to be. The entire point of the book is that it's not the story of stuff Holden did right before Christmas, it's the story of Holden talking about stuff he did right before Christmas. In a movie we'd see what was happening, and so we'd have a clear and unbiased view of what was happening when the entire point is that we weren't there when the stuff happened, so we need to be told about it by Holden.

 

[moose_man]

R.A. Salvatore's The Crystal Shards.

I know no matter how great the writing, the scripts, special effects, or acting, Drizzt would never come out right.

I cant think of a single actor i would want to play this icon of perfect character devolpment.

Actually, they'd start out with Homeland, and with a young Drizzt. Though I agree, I can't think of anyone. Maybe motion capture...? With Salvatore doing the casting?

Eh, but then your getting into CGI, and theres a hair thin line between good and bad CGI.

And even then, starting back at the begining could doom the series from the start. When you start doing extended scripting, filming and casting, many more mistakes can happen. Plus, half my friends who know who drizzt is never read that far back. they were introduced to him through the Crystal Shards.

hell, one of my friends unlocked him in the Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance game. he had no clue who drizzt was before that. ((i more or less slapped him and called him a heathen.))

Well, I thought that Homeland and Exile are the best of the bunch.

 

[TOTL_UNIALAYSHUN]

Twil- Oh. Never mind.

 

[Alex Cowan]

The Phone Book. Far too many characters, and at the end a bunch of Polish people show up

But in all seriousness, I think A Confederacy of Dunces (John Kennedy Toole) would be spoiled but an adaptation - the book and characterization is just so perfect, and the setting is a character in itself it's so brilliantly described, so I think secondary artists imposing their own views on the characters and setting would ruin it.

 

[barkingbug]

Definitely Ender's Game. I love the book to death, and it's actually my favorite, but nearly the whole book is narrative. Not even close to enough dialogue.

Agreed, and add to that:
The Earthsea books, Snow Crash, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, A Confederacy of Dunces, Lullaby, the Phantom Tollbooth, Good Omens, and everything by Terry Pratchett

 

[Kukakkau]

Angels and Demons...oh wait. Well the Da Vinci code...wait... goddamit

I would have to say Next by Michael Crichton simply because it wouldn't be an interesting watch and it would be pretty difficult to manage some elements of it

 

[the Dept of Science]

There was a film made of War and Peace which lasted 6 hours.

In Search of Lost Time - Marcel Proust. Its about 3500 pages long.

 

[DevilishGryphon]

Anymore of the Inheritance books. *shudder*
Anymore of the Harry Potter Books, the books got worse towards the last one, so i do NOT wish to see a film of them either.
Any books written by Robin Hobb, amazing books=awful film
And finally, any of the GOOD books written by Tolkein, so essentially anything other than The Lord of the Rings which has been done already so too late there anyway (not that they were very good but as i said earlier amazing books=awful film so the reverse i also true bad books=good film (good films but not amazing)).




P.s. i have one exception to the good books=bad film rule however, and that is anything with hannibal lecter in; Red Dragon awesome book and awesome film, Silence of the lambs awesome book and film and Hannibal awesome book and film.

 

[NotSoNimble]

Since they already made Lord of the Rings, I'll say Earthsea. Since it is a multiethnic fantasy world, Hollywood would just make everyone white.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407384/

This one?

Gunna watch it later, I hope it's good.

OP: The Wheel of Time series will anger a lot of people if they succeed in making it into movie form. Each movie needs to be around 8 hours long for one book.

 

[crazygator]

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance would be the worst movie ever. Period. Making a book about philosophy and the horrible misconstruction of zen as art would make even Alan Watts turn in his grave.

 

[Nieroshai]

The Innheritance Trilogy--damn. Trying again.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians--wait.

If they make a movie of the Belgariad series, I know they'll butcher it. DO NOT TOUCH, HOLLYWOOD!

 

[dcrane]

Best adaptation of book to movie - Oldboy (best modern example of alchemy)
Best adaptation of book to video game - Roadside Picnic (Stalker)
Worst adaptation of book to movie - The Road

 

[ninjajoeman]

catcher in the rie.

 

[InnerRebellion]

Northern Lights


Oh wait... *sigh*

That is also the Golden Compass, correct? If so, I agree.

Also, I hope the movie of the Night Angel trilogy turns out watchable.

 

[Queen Michael]

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Marukami.

It's my favourite book, but there's no way I can see it even remotely translating well to the screen.

It's awesome, isn't it? I'm currently rereading it. And yeah, it wouldn't make a good movie.

Yes, especially as I'm still developing my picture of what the book is really about. Have you found any interesting theories yet? I really want to discuss this book with people but no one's read it because they're all idiots don't know about it and can't be bothered reading it when I tell them about it.

I probably had a couple of theories when I read it the first time, but I've forgotten them since it was three years ago. I'll probably have some when I'm done with it, but now I'm only sixty pages in.

 

[dragonslayer32]

The Wee Free Men. It is one of my favourite books and I would be scared in case they ruined it.

 

[De Ronneman]

The Long Walk by Stephen King (Richard Bachman), because it just wouldn't work. It's one of my all time favourite books, and I read it probably 15+ times.

A movie about 100 guys walking, nah, not going to work...

EDIT: I just thought of a good series to film: the Dark Tower. Off course it would have to sacrifice some details and such, but I think it could work. I never got past the 5th book though...

 

[ninetails593]

Ender's Game. There is no possible way to capture those messages of psychological isolation and control on the big screen. It would be a massive fuck up.

 

[KiruTheMant]

Hivemind and the white dove