Both camps seem to be wrong.
One side screams "Your born gay and you never have the ability to enjoy anything other then your own sex"
The other side screams "It's a choice and you only do it because your misguided, be it Satan, because you were molested or had any other traumatic experience!"
Both scream for an absolute extreme.
When you take a close look at sexuality you find it isn't gender people are attracted to. Do you look at a girl and think "WoW! That's a girl! I want to nail that on the sole virtue of her being a girl!". No. There are little physical attributes that draw you to a person sexually.
Now, what we call a homosexual is someone who, more often then not, finds physical attraction in attribute similar to themselves. They like attribute more commonly associated with being male or female (depending on there own gender). If you apply these attributes to a member of the same, or opposite sex depending, without revealing WHAT sex the person is you will go through the same reactions. Arousal and intrigue.
If you lived your life being told you only like one or the other what will happen when the gender is revealed is generally NOT caused by you having some switch in your head calling you gay or straight, but rather because what you have already subconsciously decided for yourself telling you to stop. At that point it is no longer preference but pressure by social norms.
The homosexual will refuse to admit there attraction to the opposite sex out of fear of there entire life up to this point being called a 'phase' or being insulted or ostracized by the current homosexual landscape and community.
Likewise the Heterosexual will refuse to admit any attraction to the same sex out of fear of being ostracized by parents, friends and society at large.
In other words, the heterosexual stops feeling arousal for the member of the same sex carrying all characteristics they enjoy simply because they have decided that they are not supposed to.
Homosexuals will stay homosexual because they have been taught that since they like certain characteristics the possibility of ever finding the same characteristics in a member of the opposite gender is just plain impossible.
Likewise, Heterosexuals will stay heterosexual because they have been taught that since they enjoy characteristics of the opposite gender the possibility of ever finding someone who matches them of the same gender is just impossible.
it's why the term sexual preference seems very fitting. It's what you prefer. For example, someone can prefer apples, that doesn't mean oranges won't hit the spot.
Now, before someone accuse me of this, let me nip it in the butt now.
"Lol Kagim! So you think people can just choose to be gay or straight! Your an idiot!"
No. I actually don't really believe in the concept of people being gay or straight. I believe people like what they like, whether or not a female or male carries this characteristics isn't what leads to you being attracted to them. I also believe people like a lot of things and that no one is truly confined to a singular desire.
It is simply social norms that create these lines in the sand. Gay or straight is just what we use to define someone who prefers there own gender or not. However to say it's impossible for some defined as 'gay' to be interested in the opposite gender seems to be just a narrow minded as saying someone who is defined as 'straight' can not have a sexual attraction to those of the same gender.
Your not attracted to gender. Your attracted to attributes. Simply because you happen to prefer characteristics more common to your own sex does not mean there is simply no god damn possibility of you ever meeting someone. It just means it is unlikely.
I mean. Christ. Think about it. How many people are you honestly, truly attracted to versus a casual interest or completely uninterested in. If gender was truly a deciding factor porn would be nothing but a male or female standing there naked. The sheer variety of pornography with the thousands of different styles, fetishes with men and women of all shapes and sizes kinda shows gender has little to nothing to do with it. It's all about attributes.
A major problem with the concept of "Everything you will ever ever ever EVER find attractive is decided at birth!" is that we really have no evidence of this. What makes us aroused is hard to understand and made up of foggy ideas at best. Most fetishes have some sort of root from out upbringing basing. I mean did you know having a preference to breasts can be a sign of not being properly weened? If you are a guy or girl who likes to lick or suck nipple there is a good chanced you were not properly weened and your mother pulled you from the nip to early or to late, or even never nursed you at all. Which means a girl could love sucking on a woman's nipple not because there is a switch in there brain saying "SUCK NIPPLES! ON!" but because they were not weened properly.
There is just SO MUCH we don't understand about this subject simply screaming one extreme over another seems... Well inappropriate. Everything i have said comes from my own personal view on the subject, and am ready to admit it is pretty much opinion. However honestly pretty much everything else said about this subject is merely opinion and personal observation.
Yes, there are variables such a hormone balances but then a friend of mine has had a testicle removed since puberty began, it didn't drop and had to be surgically removed. He, very clearly, has a hormone imbalance. He also has a girlfriend and a glance at his hard drive shows a great interest in women. While i realize this in no way disproves anything involving hormone balance to be the cause it does show it is not the only deciding factor.
I know a lot of people will likely flame me to pieces for not being on one side or the other.
This is just what i have come to understand sexuality as.
Simply that, as much as people want it to be black and white it really... really isn't.
To me, the labels gay or straight are narrow minded and lazy. To lump people into these categories and just scream "THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOUR FUCKING IGNORANT!" is just as stupid as screaming "EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT AND IF YOU THINK YOUR GAY YOUR JUST STUPID AND WRONG AND FOLLOWING THE DEVIL OR SOME OTHER ROOT AND DEEP DOWN YOU ARE STRAIGHT!"
Just two groups trying to simplify something that is not simple at all.
Sorry, better luck next time.