Chivalry is dead. And wymen/womyn killed it.
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You just love poking holes in my arguments don't you? One day I might poke one in yours and make it sink faster then the titanic. ONE DAY.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
Sadly, the tendency that I'm seeing is that the more explicitly sexual a song is, the less romantic it is. There are "love songs" and then there are "sex songs". It's either "Baby got back" or "Wonderful Tonight". Oh sure, love songs might allude to sexuality, but that's just it, it's never explicitly stated.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
And of course there are women who are still writing love songs; I'm just saying that it seems vastly disproportionate to all the songs about empowerment, and that the ones about empowerment seem to be significantly more popular. Granted, I'm coming from a summer of having to listen to the shitty "Top 40" stations at work all day.
Look, Chivalry isn't a bad idea, its just an old idea.
If you extend the same curteseys to men as you would to women and youll be fine, eaven in this day and age.
If you extend the same curteseys to men as you would to women and youll be fine, eaven in this day and age.
Marriage is a choice in societies that allow alimony, not a contractual negotiation. If we don't want people "making that choice," we should be outlawing marriage itself, not just alimony. (Guess how I feel about that?) Living your whole life together necessitates shared expenses and profits, at least on a proportionate level. I'm fine sharing my money if I make more, but I do expect the woman to contribute a fair portion too. But if you aren't living together, you no longer have to share. Everything you have should be yours alone once again. I am perfectly okay with sharing half of the collective benefits. I realize that I must be willing to give in a relationship and to keep track of every individual thing and put a claim on it is not only unfair but insulting. But you have to realize if you give up the relationship you give up the benefits. And by partaking in the relationship, even if it ends up in divorce, you should be willing to take the good *and* bad. I give up my right to regain the entire cost of my investment, and I'm okay with that, because that's how it works. Racking the price up to $60 for the next person just ruins their experience that much more.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
Besides, If women want to be equal, they should be content to get an equal share of the marriage, not force me to continue to make payments. As I said, women have it good enough that alimony is not only unnecessary, it's not fair. What about all the sex I gave up by marrying you? If I have to give you get a check every week, you should have to spend a night indulging in my every sexual desire once a week. I should get back what I sacrificed, right? NOW how do you feel about alimony?
PS - Cheese_Pavillion, are you a poli-sci teacher? You sure argue like one! (Not an insult, just an observation).
1. My girlfriend has stated numerous times that she likes to cook for me, I have never asked her to cook me anything but frequently arrive to a fresh cooked meal.
a. I like watching her cook.
b. She is a good cook.
2. She cleans in order to occupy her time. She has never been asked to do this. When offered help she rejects it.
3. She works at a daycare. Her days are spent taking care of children, making food and cleaning; at home and at work, she chose that job.
All through High School she got 4.0s math, english, whatever. She hasn't gone to college because she likes what she does, and what she does is traditional female roles(!)
Is this anything more than a little anecdotal piece of information? No, but it does show that some women despite their abilities will be perfectly happy fulfilling traditional female roles.
Also: The last time a woman called me out for doing a generic action out of courtesy (she said something like "what? you don't think I can _____ all by myself?" insert open the door etc.) I responded "I'm sure you can, but I didn't hold the door open because I thought you couldn't." She looked flustered and that was the end of it.
a. I like watching her cook.
b. She is a good cook.
2. She cleans in order to occupy her time. She has never been asked to do this. When offered help she rejects it.
3. She works at a daycare. Her days are spent taking care of children, making food and cleaning; at home and at work, she chose that job.
All through High School she got 4.0s math, english, whatever. She hasn't gone to college because she likes what she does, and what she does is traditional female roles(!)
Is this anything more than a little anecdotal piece of information? No, but it does show that some women despite their abilities will be perfectly happy fulfilling traditional female roles.
Also: The last time a woman called me out for doing a generic action out of courtesy (she said something like "what? you don't think I can _____ all by myself?" insert open the door etc.) I responded "I'm sure you can, but I didn't hold the door open because I thought you couldn't." She looked flustered and that was the end of it.
The problem is that the more powerful people with guns won't or can't side with you. I've known women who have been stalked, threatened, beaten, and raped by their abusers after they left them. The violence got worse when they tried to do the right thing and leave. I've also known cops who expressed a great deal of frustration at being unable to protect women who are being stalked, threatened, and abused by the abusers they left. The guy could be waiting for her in front of her home when she gets back from work, and she can call 911, but by the time the police get there, he's gone. She says he was there, the abuser says he wasn't, there are no witnesses or evidence, so the police can't do anything. And this happens again and again, until the cops start getting frustrated with the woman for calling them when they know there won't be anything they can do. Or sometimes, like my friend, she never gets to the phone until after she's been beaten, choked, and raped by her ex.Bulletinmybrain said:
While this sickens and saddens me, please refrain from blaming it on gender. There are cases of women doing this to men too as well as cases of abuser and abused being the same gender. I believe earlier this year there was a case of school violence with motives something like this in the US (where the woman was violent toward the man).mshcherbatskaya said:
Lots. Individual guys have written and sung songs for individual girls since music was invented. The Plain White Tees, Ben Folds, Dashboard Confessional, Coldplay, 3 Doors Down, Lifehouse, The Good Goo Dolls, Green Day all have written love songs with women as their subjects. Writers who write with tweenagers as their target audience are either called sell-outs or pedophiles.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
That is not at all true. I know several professors at the university I go to, and I've had more than just one or two comment that the pay scale is more or less perfectly in line with how white and male the people are, with black females on the bottom end, despite in some cases having more experience and works under their belt. It doesn't happen everywhere, and to some degree it can be accounted for by the way in which men and women behave (men tend to emphasise individual accomplishments and boast about their work, whereas women are more likely to acknowledge or emphasise team efforts), but it's quite common for women to be paid less for the same work. It's also quite common for women to not be hired for jobs based on the stage of life they are in (over fears of them taking maternity leave, etc.), which is why we have things like affirmative action to prevent that sort of discrimination.Bulletinmybrain said:
Of course, that also brings up a good point in the fact that women often do limit themselves by choosing to pursue both a career and a personal life; the difference is that a) men are generally not economically disadvantaged by doing this and b) even though some women do do this, not all of them do, and it is not enough to explain the income gap.
I thought women weren't pervs like men? LOL! Besides, how many willing cheaters did I give up on by getting married? I hear women are into married men because a man who another woman thinks is worth being with makes the first woman want to be with them to. And while we're on the subject, if I am going to be fucked to death I would prefer it to be sexually and not financially, so I guess I'd be okay with that. LOL!
CP, I think our continued one-uppance proves how bad alimony is. Demanding a recompense for the things you willingly sacrificed only drags both parties into the mud, and continues into a war of brinksmanship. Sadly, it's tolerated because its easy to tolerate getting a check without having to work for it and leaving it at that, knowing no one wants to go against a woman given the current overall societal bias towards women. Who would want to make themselves look like an ass?
CP, I think our continued one-uppance proves how bad alimony is. Demanding a recompense for the things you willingly sacrificed only drags both parties into the mud, and continues into a war of brinksmanship. Sadly, it's tolerated because its easy to tolerate getting a check without having to work for it and leaving it at that, knowing no one wants to go against a woman given the current overall societal bias towards women. Who would want to make themselves look like an ass?
Okay....I've been around for like 2k plus years so I have a bit of a different take on this..most women like to be the center of attention, and if you open a door for them, but appear to be slavering, they will take offense. Open a door and appear as (you're most obedient servant madame) you will get a different reaction. Be polite and genteel and you will be treated so. Sexism is quite passe' most people just wish to be treated with respect, so patience and decency is the rule of law these days..and...pull up your pants.