Well personally I would side with the more powerful people with guns then the people who would abuse me but I guess I am a oddball.mshcherbatskaya said:
Chivalry is dead. And wymen/womyn killed it.
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umm I have noticed theres been some talk of wether women being beaten is deserved...of course it isn't. the problem is that the woman needs to find her own strength to stand up and escape her situation, if the woman in question is simply taken out of the situation, it seems that she will probably end up in the same situation before too long. (I say that because ive seen it happen with two different women that i know, and ive heard more than a few stories supporting the same conclusion) In the end there are some burdens that you have to bear alone and that is most certainly one of them.
AND this is tottaly a tangent, doesnt really matter too much to the discussion.
AND this is tottaly a tangent, doesnt really matter too much to the discussion.
all im saying is based on what i have seen and personally experienced, the woman needs to reach a change in her own mind in order to truly change the course of her life, if the solution is simply handed over, nothing is learned, nothing really changes.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
Well it seems I am the only one that would want out of an abusive relationship so thats why I used the term oddball.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
Also I could so be an insurgent. But then some asshat from the U.S would bomb my country to the ground come in and kill a lot of people and then station the army there making the matters worse.
I don't believe that chivalry is dead. I like the idea of a guy holding a door open for me. Not because he has to, because he's polite. It's a nice idea. 
However, there are those feminista's (I think I just made up a word) who claim that those men are pigs. Those women have way too much time on their hands.
Thank yougreygelgoog said:
However, there are those feminista's (I think I just made up a word) who claim that those men are pigs. Those women have way too much time on their hands.
the feministas are the wymen that i referred to earlier. And even though i realize that they represent a small fraction of women in this world, and yet have a surprisingly large amount of impact. That worries me, and that was the point of the threadRadelaide said:I don't believe that chivalry is dead. I like the idea of a guy holding a door open for me. Not because he has to, because he's polite. It's a nice idea.
Thank yougreygelgoog said:
However, there are those feminista's (I think I just made up a word) who claim that those men are pigs. Those women have way too much time on their hands.
ooh yeah, this thread is turning into some good ol' fashioned feminist bashing!
Now, for my two-cents.
Yes, holding open a door for a woman or standing on a bus so that a woman can have your seat does have it's roots in chauvinistic behaviour. Most men though, have been trained to do this through years and years of practice and they are not trying to subconsciously put a woman down because of it.
Next thing you know I'll be accused of being ageist for helping an old person across the street.
The thing is from a male perspective, there's nothing worse than being overtly chided for doing what you think in your mind is the right thing to do. If we are to have equilibrium on gender power relations there's a very simple solution.
Girls: When a man offers you his seat, instead of berating him for his chauvinistic attitude, simply say "no thank you". Very simple, very effective and doesn't cause any bad scenes. Eventually, men will get the hint and stop asking. If you do berate a man constantly, this is likely to hurt the man's pride (pride being the most important thing a man can possess) and will end up becoming overly-chauvinistic.
Think about it, if there is a negative outcome for the male for trying to be nice to the female (which is his intention), then there is very little incentive for the male to be nice to the female in future. This flows on to other areas and actually denigrates gender relations rather than improve them.
In summary, "No thank you". Polite, and he'll get the message eventually but it's going to take time. Just be patient with us stupid men. We're stupid.
Now, for my two-cents.
Yes, holding open a door for a woman or standing on a bus so that a woman can have your seat does have it's roots in chauvinistic behaviour. Most men though, have been trained to do this through years and years of practice and they are not trying to subconsciously put a woman down because of it.
Next thing you know I'll be accused of being ageist for helping an old person across the street.
The thing is from a male perspective, there's nothing worse than being overtly chided for doing what you think in your mind is the right thing to do. If we are to have equilibrium on gender power relations there's a very simple solution.
Girls: When a man offers you his seat, instead of berating him for his chauvinistic attitude, simply say "no thank you". Very simple, very effective and doesn't cause any bad scenes. Eventually, men will get the hint and stop asking. If you do berate a man constantly, this is likely to hurt the man's pride (pride being the most important thing a man can possess) and will end up becoming overly-chauvinistic.
Think about it, if there is a negative outcome for the male for trying to be nice to the female (which is his intention), then there is very little incentive for the male to be nice to the female in future. This flows on to other areas and actually denigrates gender relations rather than improve them.
In summary, "No thank you". Polite, and he'll get the message eventually but it's going to take time. Just be patient with us stupid men. We're stupid.
And I have no problem with this as a concept. In practice, however, I am noticing a significant emphasis on sexuality and the empowerment that it brings women, while more romantic ideals are being downplayed dramatically. Again, let me bring the music industry: with the exception of country music, I have hardly heard any love songs written by women. It seems to me that it began with Madonna and never stopped. It is perfectly embodied within Sara Bareilles' "Love Song". It goes "I'm not gonna write you a love song," and was written in reaction to her record label asking her to produce a marketable love song. My question to Bareilles would be, "Was that so much to ask? I mean, you have actually BEEN in love, have you not?"Cheeze_Pavilion said:
You could argue that that's just one song, by one woman, and not reflective of the common consensus among women. I might concede to this, but would argue that popularity of that song implied that the message within the song rang true within a huge amount of women.
Granted, there are a substantial number of male-written songs that emphasize empowerment through sexuality, and could be labeled as male-chauvinistic, but I would argue that there are just as many, if not more love songs written by men to offset the ones that focus on empowerment.
But if you want something bad enough you will find the ability to get what you want.Cheeze_Pavilion said:
there are alot of things wrong with the world. i think i'd rather prioritize things more worth my attention than to be told whether chivalry is dead or not, and who killed it. the world is not static; chivalry, like most other abstract things in human nature, isn't dead and won't die. like anything else in its domain, it will evolve fit our human behaviour.
as for the more concrete part of the OP: the irony in that you write a thread about this issue after this happened is that it leaves you in the same situation as her. "modern day" chivalry might actually expect you to not just whine about it to your dear friend, mr. internet, but either shrug it off and think nothing of it, or do something about it when you're actually in the situation.
i would say more about this issue at hand and elaborate upon why people creating threads like these are a problem, but frankly you've taken enough of my time as it is. don't whine if things don't work your way, do something about them.
as for the more concrete part of the OP: the irony in that you write a thread about this issue after this happened is that it leaves you in the same situation as her. "modern day" chivalry might actually expect you to not just whine about it to your dear friend, mr. internet, but either shrug it off and think nothing of it, or do something about it when you're actually in the situation.
i would say more about this issue at hand and elaborate upon why people creating threads like these are a problem, but frankly you've taken enough of my time as it is. don't whine if things don't work your way, do something about them.
as quoted by a comic whos name escapes me at the current time
Women dont want equality, they want to be treated like women but paid like a man end quote
that being said, you want to talk double standard, yes, some men are pigs, not all of us are, im polite, i work with the general public and ill tell you, it takes all kinds, what makes the difference is the ability to over look the ones you know are bat shit crazy and continue to smile and be polite to those who deserve it but it goes both ways, some women have it in their head that they are the rulers that they can do what they want how they want, they are female their for they have absolute power and will degrade and look down their noses at men weather it is deserved or not
Women dont want equality, they want to be treated like women but paid like a man end quote
that being said, you want to talk double standard, yes, some men are pigs, not all of us are, im polite, i work with the general public and ill tell you, it takes all kinds, what makes the difference is the ability to over look the ones you know are bat shit crazy and continue to smile and be polite to those who deserve it but it goes both ways, some women have it in their head that they are the rulers that they can do what they want how they want, they are female their for they have absolute power and will degrade and look down their noses at men weather it is deserved or not