Classy weapons

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caster272

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Feb 11, 2009
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I'm going with classy as the kind of weapon considered a gentleman's weapon, the kind of thing you use in a duel.

Swords:
Jian
Katana
Rapier

Guns:
single shot flint lock pistol (need two for proper duel)
hunting rifle(for sport such as killing birds or deer)
powerful hunting rifle(for lions and elephants)

knives:
There are too many ceremonial daggers that I don't want to bother listing them.


The Ultimate weapon of the distinguished gentleman.
Linguistics (capable of disarming or redirecting any possible opponent if used properly)
 

Simriel

The Count of Monte Cristo
Dec 22, 2008
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Internet Kraken said:
Simriel said:
Internet Kraken said:
Simriel said:
Mardy said:
This. [http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2226/2527094586_ae4dbe82b1.jpg?v=0]
Or if it has to be a melee weapon. [http://www.mason-mason.net/air/Midnight1.jpg]
What is that pistol?!?!?!
A badass pistol.

My question is if it's just for decoration or if it actually functions.
I don't care. I want it! This is my second favourite pistol evar!
What would the first be?
http://blogs.amctv.com/scifi-scanner/images/malstunt2.jpg
 

Zahri

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Dec 15, 2008
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To kill elegantly is not just about the weapon, a person must exude the feeling of elegance, of sophistication, as he does it. He must wear the right clothes (Tux as mentioned is a perfect example) and have the right physical appearance and movements.

That being said, i am shocked that no one has mentioned the Scythe. The scythe is elegance cubed.

As explained by this picture:

 

Eclectic Dreck

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Sep 3, 2008
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It's difficult to choose a "classy weapon" because it's a little difficult to dress up a device created specifically to cause harm. That said, I shall do my best to puzzle through it.

Guns - All guns, no matter how exquisitely crafted are inherently crude weapons. As nothing more than slingshots upgraded with science, they represent the simplest way to apply deadly force. They require little training to be effective weapons of death and destruction, and the wide variations in quality and lethality render craftsmanship moot. In short, they are too simple, too direct to be classy.

The Bow (all types) - As the weapon that introduced effective ranged combat, the bow might be considered by some. While they are far more difficult to use than firearms, they still represent a destabilizing and random force in warfare. There is elegence in their lethal simplicity, but the fact this weapon will handily fell even the most skilled combatant by chance renders it moot.

Missiles (Including any weapon that is designed to fire beyond Line of Sight) - As the modern incarnation of ancient seige weapons, the missile category possesses some merit for consideration. But, like the bow before it, the missile represents a destabilizing force in warfare, and it's wide area of effect ensures that it kills indiscriminately; a classy weapon almost certainly wouldn't do this as a rule.

The Spear - The least elegent of all weapons, perhaps the best precursor to the gun in terms of modern use. As little more than a sharpened stick, a spear is second only to the club in terms of crude weaponry. What's more, the weapon requires almost no training to use properly - you use it to stab things, and there's only so many ways one can accomplish this mundane task. Given it's long, proud history, the spear is quite clearly the ancient weapon of the downtrodden. While it's commendable for this, it certainly won't make it into the country club.

The Sword - Though the sword is little more than an applied club in the truly ancient models, it's place is forever cemented in history as the "queen of weapons". As a class of weapon it has expressed more variety than any other. Beginning as a short stabbing weapon of varying quality, the sword eventually became little more than a giant sharpened club during the dark ages of warfare. As a common weapon of soldiers of all backgrounds, the early swords were hardly classy in terms of company, and during many periods they were hardly elegent in their use. Once other weapons rendered armor obscelete, the sword became smaller and became the weapon of self defense when other, more tempremental weapons had failed. It is notable in that the sword became a weapon primarily used by the nobility, and the art of it's use is still trained today even though it has long past it's point of utility.

The halberd (and other long weapons featuring a long stick that don't classify as spear or axe) - Such weapons were designed as little more than a focused upgrade to the spear. All the problems with the spear still apply.

The Mace (also, all other bludgeoning weapons) - When an edge was deemed ineffective at causing harm, humanity turned once again to the earliest of weapons - the club to find inspiration. Designed to defeat armor, the Mace and it's derivatives rely on sheer crushing power to achieve their ends. While such weapons were often wielded by the wealthy, their implementation was so crude that it does not merit consideration. Attacks may vary by direction, but in the end the weapon was simply swung as hard as possible against an area where one would not likely meet a shield - this is hardly elegent and therefore it can't be considered classy.

Improvised Weapons (Most Eastern non sword martial arts weapons, farming implements (scyth for example) and so forth) - These weapons are wielded by the desperate. This fact alone renders them obscelete. The scyth in particular, while perfectly capable of being lethal is so tremendously ineffecient at the task that one should look mighty hard before resorting to a farming implement for warfare. To continue on the scyth, the weapon is long (like a spear) but is only effective when swung at an opponent, and even the margin of success is so incredibly tiny that one must question it's utility. Worse than even the lowly spear, the improvised weapon is truly the weapon of last resort for the downtrodden. Even the club rates higher in terms of class, because even the simplest club (say a branch) implies some work went into selection of the object.

As such, it seems that the sword is perhaps the best category to choose from, but even here there is difficulty choosing. At the most basic level, one has to choose between the eastern tradition (such as the Katana) and the western tradition (such as the Rapier). Given the Katana's design and use relies heavily on strength and ferocity of attack (as all swords designed to fight with the edge must by design as it is easer to defend a cut than a thrust in a general sense), it gets removed from consideration from my book, and with it the Sabre (which is derived from the Eastern Scimitar anyhow). This leaves the late western thrusting swords, of which the Rapier is undoubtedly the best known. Unfortunately, the rapier was hugely flawed in that while it was no longer a cutting weapon (and was therefore much narrower) it was still long (about 5 feet for a true rapier) and unwieldy, requiring the use of a second item for defense. The entire art of fencing relied on the "stesso tempo" (single time) approach to combat wherin the parry (or ward in english) and repost(an attack follwing a parry) happened in a single action. This meant that a duel was still a game of forcing an opening. The court sword, made possible thanks to Queen Elizabeth I's annoyance at tripping over rapiers in court (she ordered all swords broken off at three feet and resharpened) improved the process and made "dui tempo" (double time) fencing a possibility. It also meant that the sword no longer needed an accompanying implement for defense, and rather than forcing an opening one could instead focus on creating an opening through more subtle action.

Even the court sword would not meet my standard, because even this weapon was improved upon. The western concept of a sword began as a weapon of last resort, became a weapon of necessity, and eventually became nothing more than an elegentarian solution to dispute resolution through mortal combat, and in this achieved perfection in the form of the Small Sword. Light, swift and still terrifyingly lethal, the small sword (and it's modern sport cousin the Epee) is the classiest of any weapons I can imagine. It was used when better options had long been available (something that's classy is almost certainly ineffecient), was a weapon used primarily by the wealty elite (few people could afford to train to use one effectively, and without training a duel was little more than a death sentence), and represented the final implementation of one of the only devices ever built by man who's sole effective function is to cause harm to another person. Since the small sword was an inefficient choice for problem resolution, naturally excluded the poor and had a long and proud heritage, it is clearly the classiest of all weapons.
 

Valiance

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Jan 14, 2009
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<img src="http://www.fmft.net/tripod%20mounted%20triple%20chain%20gun%20vulcan%20cannon.JPG" /img>

Not much is classier.
At least not with my definition of it. ;)
 

Mardy

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Apr 7, 2009
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Simriel said:
Mardy said:
This. [http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2226/2527094586_ae4dbe82b1.jpg?v=0]
Or if it has to be a melee weapon. [http://www.mason-mason.net/air/Midnight1.jpg]
What is that pistol?!?!?!
Certainly looks like one, could be a replica.
 

eatenbyagrue

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Dec 25, 2008
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A bolt-action rifle. Sword purists will call gun users cowards for fighting with a weapon that works best at a distance, but I believe that the best kind of fight is a match of wits, and nothing matches wits like a pair of snipers playing the old cat-and-mouse game.


caster272 said:
The Ultimate weapon of the distinguished gentleman.
Linguistics (capable of disarming or redirecting any possible opponent if used properly)
I don't believe you've heard of Otto von Bismark:

"A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence."
 

Rigs83

Elite Member
Feb 10, 2009
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Latinidiot said:
how about a barber's razor knife? You know, like the one Sweeney Todd has
or perhaps a throwing knife, i don't know how they're called
they are called throwing knives
 

Flowerpot

New member
Apr 14, 2009
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Eclectic Dreck said:
It's difficult to choose a "classy weapon" because it's a little difficult to dress up a device created specifically to cause harm. That said, I shall do my best to puzzle through it.

Guns - All guns, no matter how exquisitely crafted are inherently crude weapons. As nothing more than slingshots upgraded with science, they represent the simplest way to apply deadly force. They require little training to be effective weapons of death and destruction, and the wide variations in quality and lethality render craftsmanship moot. In short, they are too simple, too direct to be classy.

The Bow (all types) - As the weapon that introduced effective ranged combat, the bow might be considered by some. While they are far more difficult to use than firearms, they still represent a destabilizing and random force in warfare. There is elegence in their lethal simplicity, but the fact this weapon will handily fell even the most skilled combatant by chance renders it moot.

Missiles (Including any weapon that is designed to fire beyond Line of Sight) - As the modern incarnation of ancient seige weapons, the missile category possesses some merit for consideration. But, like the bow before it, the missile represents a destabilizing force in warfare, and it's wide area of effect ensures that it kills indiscriminately; a classy weapon almost certainly wouldn't do this as a rule.

The Spear - The least elegent of all weapons, perhaps the best precursor to the gun in terms of modern use. As little more than a sharpened stick, a spear is second only to the club in terms of crude weaponry. What's more, the weapon requires almost no training to use properly - you use it to stab things, and there's only so many ways one can accomplish this mundane task. Given it's long, proud history, the spear is quite clearly the ancient weapon of the downtrodden. While it's commendable for this, it certainly won't make it into the country club.

The Sword - Though the sword is little more than an applied club in the truly ancient models, it's place is forever cemented in history as the "queen of weapons". As a class of weapon it has expressed more variety than any other. Beginning as a short stabbing weapon of varying quality, the sword eventually became little more than a giant sharpened club during the dark ages of warfare. As a common weapon of soldiers of all backgrounds, the early swords were hardly classy in terms of company, and during many periods they were hardly elegent in their use. Once other weapons rendered armor obscelete, the sword became smaller and became the weapon of self defense when other, more tempremental weapons had failed. It is notable in that the sword became a weapon primarily used by the nobility, and the art of it's use is still trained today even though it has long past it's point of utility.

The halberd (and other long weapons featuring a long stick that don't classify as spear or axe) - Such weapons were designed as little more than a focused upgrade to the spear. All the problems with the spear still apply.

The Mace (also, all other bludgeoning weapons) - When an edge was deemed ineffective at causing harm, humanity turned once again to the earliest of weapons - the club to find inspiration. Designed to defeat armor, the Mace and it's derivatives rely on sheer crushing power to achieve their ends. While such weapons were often wielded by the wealthy, their implementation was so crude that it does not merit consideration. Attacks may vary by direction, but in the end the weapon was simply swung as hard as possible against an area where one would not likely meet a shield - this is hardly elegent and therefore it can't be considered classy.

Improvised Weapons (Most Eastern non sword martial arts weapons, farming implements (scyth for example) and so forth) - These weapons are wielded by the desperate. This fact alone renders them obscelete. The scyth in particular, while perfectly capable of being lethal is so tremendously ineffecient at the task that one should look mighty hard before resorting to a farming implement for warfare. To continue on the scyth, the weapon is long (like a spear) but is only effective when swung at an opponent, and even the margin of success is so incredibly tiny that one must question it's utility. Worse than even the lowly spear, the improvised weapon is truly the weapon of last resort for the downtrodden. Even the club rates higher in terms of class, because even the simplest club (say a branch) implies some work went into selection of the object.

As such, it seems that the sword is perhaps the best category to choose from, but even here there is difficulty choosing. At the most basic level, one has to choose between the eastern tradition (such as the Katana) and the western tradition (such as the Rapier). Given the Katana's design and use relies heavily on strength and ferocity of attack (as all swords designed to fight with the edge must by design as it is easer to defend a cut than a thrust in a general sense), it gets removed from consideration from my book, and with it the Sabre (which is derived from the Eastern Scimitar anyhow). This leaves the late western thrusting swords, of which the Rapier is undoubtedly the best known. Unfortunately, the rapier was hugely flawed in that while it was no longer a cutting weapon (and was therefore much narrower) it was still long (about 5 feet for a true rapier) and unwieldy, requiring the use of a second item for defense. The entire art of fencing relied on the "stesso tempo" (single time) approach to combat wherin the parry (or ward in english) and repost(an attack follwing a parry) happened in a single action. This meant that a duel was still a game of forcing an opening. The court sword, made possible thanks to Queen Elizabeth I's annoyance at tripping over rapiers in court (she ordered all swords broken off at three feet and resharpened) improved the process and made "dui tempo" (double time) fencing a possibility. It also meant that the sword no longer needed an accompanying implement for defense, and rather than forcing an opening one could instead focus on creating an opening through more subtle action.

Even the court sword would not meet my standard, because even this weapon was improved upon. The western concept of a sword began as a weapon of last resort, became a weapon of necessity, and eventually became nothing more than an elegentarian solution to dispute resolution through mortal combat, and in this achieved perfection in the form of the Small Sword. Light, swift and still terrifyingly lethal, the small sword (and it's modern sport cousin the Epee) is the classiest of any weapons I can imagine. It was used when better options had long been available (something that's classy is almost certainly ineffecient), was a weapon used primarily by the wealty elite (few people could afford to train to use one effectively, and without training a duel was little more than a death sentence), and represented the final implementation of one of the only devices ever built by man who's sole effective function is to cause harm to another person. Since the small sword was an inefficient choice for problem resolution, naturally excluded the poor and had a long and proud heritage, it is clearly the classiest of all weapons.

Just thought that this should be quoted. In fact, I'll do it twice.


Eclectic Dreck said:
It's difficult to choose a "classy weapon" because it's a little difficult to dress up a device created specifically to cause harm. That said, I shall do my best to puzzle through it.

Guns - All guns, no matter how exquisitely crafted are inherently crude weapons. As nothing more than slingshots upgraded with science, they represent the simplest way to apply deadly force. They require little training to be effective weapons of death and destruction, and the wide variations in quality and lethality render craftsmanship moot. In short, they are too simple, too direct to be classy.

The Bow (all types) - As the weapon that introduced effective ranged combat, the bow might be considered by some. While they are far more difficult to use than firearms, they still represent a destabilizing and random force in warfare. There is elegence in their lethal simplicity, but the fact this weapon will handily fell even the most skilled combatant by chance renders it moot.

Missiles (Including any weapon that is designed to fire beyond Line of Sight) - As the modern incarnation of ancient seige weapons, the missile category possesses some merit for consideration. But, like the bow before it, the missile represents a destabilizing force in warfare, and it's wide area of effect ensures that it kills indiscriminately; a classy weapon almost certainly wouldn't do this as a rule.

The Spear - The least elegent of all weapons, perhaps the best precursor to the gun in terms of modern use. As little more than a sharpened stick, a spear is second only to the club in terms of crude weaponry. What's more, the weapon requires almost no training to use properly - you use it to stab things, and there's only so many ways one can accomplish this mundane task. Given it's long, proud history, the spear is quite clearly the ancient weapon of the downtrodden. While it's commendable for this, it certainly won't make it into the country club.

The Sword - Though the sword is little more than an applied club in the truly ancient models, it's place is forever cemented in history as the "queen of weapons". As a class of weapon it has expressed more variety than any other. Beginning as a short stabbing weapon of varying quality, the sword eventually became little more than a giant sharpened club during the dark ages of warfare. As a common weapon of soldiers of all backgrounds, the early swords were hardly classy in terms of company, and during many periods they were hardly elegent in their use. Once other weapons rendered armor obscelete, the sword became smaller and became the weapon of self defense when other, more tempremental weapons had failed. It is notable in that the sword became a weapon primarily used by the nobility, and the art of it's use is still trained today even though it has long past it's point of utility.

The halberd (and other long weapons featuring a long stick that don't classify as spear or axe) - Such weapons were designed as little more than a focused upgrade to the spear. All the problems with the spear still apply.

The Mace (also, all other bludgeoning weapons) - When an edge was deemed ineffective at causing harm, humanity turned once again to the earliest of weapons - the club to find inspiration. Designed to defeat armor, the Mace and it's derivatives rely on sheer crushing power to achieve their ends. While such weapons were often wielded by the wealthy, their implementation was so crude that it does not merit consideration. Attacks may vary by direction, but in the end the weapon was simply swung as hard as possible against an area where one would not likely meet a shield - this is hardly elegent and therefore it can't be considered classy.

Improvised Weapons (Most Eastern non sword martial arts weapons, farming implements (scyth for example) and so forth) - These weapons are wielded by the desperate. This fact alone renders them obscelete. The scyth in particular, while perfectly capable of being lethal is so tremendously ineffecient at the task that one should look mighty hard before resorting to a farming implement for warfare. To continue on the scyth, the weapon is long (like a spear) but is only effective when swung at an opponent, and even the margin of success is so incredibly tiny that one must question it's utility. Worse than even the lowly spear, the improvised weapon is truly the weapon of last resort for the downtrodden. Even the club rates higher in terms of class, because even the simplest club (say a branch) implies some work went into selection of the object.

As such, it seems that the sword is perhaps the best category to choose from, but even here there is difficulty choosing. At the most basic level, one has to choose between the eastern tradition (such as the Katana) and the western tradition (such as the Rapier). Given the Katana's design and use relies heavily on strength and ferocity of attack (as all swords designed to fight with the edge must by design as it is easer to defend a cut than a thrust in a general sense), it gets removed from consideration from my book, and with it the Sabre (which is derived from the Eastern Scimitar anyhow). This leaves the late western thrusting swords, of which the Rapier is undoubtedly the best known. Unfortunately, the rapier was hugely flawed in that while it was no longer a cutting weapon (and was therefore much narrower) it was still long (about 5 feet for a true rapier) and unwieldy, requiring the use of a second item for defense. The entire art of fencing relied on the "stesso tempo" (single time) approach to combat wherin the parry (or ward in english) and repost(an attack follwing a parry) happened in a single action. This meant that a duel was still a game of forcing an opening. The court sword, made possible thanks to Queen Elizabeth I's annoyance at tripping over rapiers in court (she ordered all swords broken off at three feet and resharpened) improved the process and made "dui tempo" (double time) fencing a possibility. It also meant that the sword no longer needed an accompanying implement for defense, and rather than forcing an opening one could instead focus on creating an opening through more subtle action.

Even the court sword would not meet my standard, because even this weapon was improved upon. The western concept of a sword began as a weapon of last resort, became a weapon of necessity, and eventually became nothing more than an elegentarian solution to dispute resolution through mortal combat, and in this achieved perfection in the form of the Small Sword. Light, swift and still terrifyingly lethal, the small sword (and it's modern sport cousin the Epee) is the classiest of any weapons I can imagine. It was used when better options had long been available (something that's classy is almost certainly ineffecient), was a weapon used primarily by the wealty elite (few people could afford to train to use one effectively, and without training a duel was little more than a death sentence), and represented the final implementation of one of the only devices ever built by man who's sole effective function is to cause harm to another person. Since the small sword was an inefficient choice for problem resolution, naturally excluded the poor and had a long and proud heritage, it is clearly the classiest of all weapons.
 

rabidmidget

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Apr 18, 2008
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the butterfly knife, if you watch the tricks people can pull with these things you will be amazed
http://www.earmi.it/armi/glossario/immagini/balisong.jpg
 

rabidmidget

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RAKtheUndead said:
Zahri said:
That being said, i am shocked that no one has mentioned the Scythe. The scythe is elegance cubed.
Yeah, that'll work - using a heavy gardening implement as a weapon. Scythes are for cutting grass.
and reaping souls
 

Syntax Error

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Sep 7, 2008
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Butterfly Knife. Or as we Filipinos like to call it: Balisong [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUeCrHNk8-k]

Looks great, concealable and practical in combat.

Edit: NINJA'D, DAMMIT!!!!
 

Sonicron

Do the buttwalk!
Mar 11, 2009
5,133
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Since this is not confined to real weapons, I'll have to go with a Bowel Disruptor (don't know it? Read Transmetropolitan). This thing has so little class it gets classy again. Just set the dial to 'rectal volcano', fire and watch your opponent go down in agony and shitting themselves inside out.
 

Caimekaze

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Feb 2, 2008
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I'm going to have to say silverware.
There have been to good examples of death by silverware that I can remember. The first was in Angel, when Angel is in a house full of human statues, and a guard is sneaking up on him. He takes a spoon from the teacup a statue is holding, flicks it at the guard and it lodges in his head, leaving him dead.
The second is from the manga Kuroshitsuji, involving a demonoid butler, a gang of mafia mooks, and a drawer's worth of silverware. Projectile cutlery fun ensued.
 

Koeryn

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Mar 2, 2009
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It's very simple. A .408 CheyTac round from about a mile away. They'll die (At that range it'll hit harder than your standard military .50BMG Ball round), and it will be as if they were struck down by the gods themselves. How is it NOT classy, giving someone the touch of a god? :p